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I rode to a filling station to get some petrol on my Lambretta when I first had it, after paying I came out and couldn't find my helmet. After a lot of searching I rode home without it thinking someone had stolen it. When I got back I found it sitting on the shelf in my flat

June 2019, I'm in the Algarve and it's a warm night. I need groceries so decide to take the bike and my backpack, go have a pizza and then to the supermarket. As I am leaving I remember I forgot the backpack and go back inside for it, then on the way to the restaurant riding down an avenue on shorts and tshirt at 21:00 I am thinking: "man, summer evenings here sure are great, such warm air all over your body, I can't even tell I'm wearing my helmet" and as I am parking the bike and walking to the pizza place I go to take the helmet strap off and there you go, forgot my helmet at home. I was sober! I would need to ride past a police station to go home, which I don't have the nerve to do as riding with no helmet gets your license taken away, so after dinner I walk back to get the helmet like a twat.

I might put my panniers on, pop an empty lemonade bottle in and wee discretely into it whilst pretending to lean on the bike.

I went on the bike to the shop for a few bits. Only a mile but I managed to stretch it to eight and a half along the lanes. People out everywhere walking, and hordes of the Lycra clad brigade. Twas good for the soul though.

I'm off to non 'working from home' work in the morning. Going to meet my Irish and Hispano/Caribean chaps at one of the storage depots with my trusty tape measure to look at big concrete blocks and posts to see if they will be fine to hold up some large signs for the re-opening of the Recycling Depot to the great unwashed which we will be installing on Tuesday. This is to make all the local people arrive from the same direction and queue like civilised people.............. No fear of that, it will be like The Hunger Games on Steroids. Hopefully the signs will turn up later tomorrow before I leave work so I can check to make sure they don't say something like 'REESICLING DEPOH PLEEZE FOLOE AROES' and make me look like a twat. Then it's a quick dash to the office to print out some setting out drawings for Wednesday and an OS base sheet. I shall hiss at anyone who approaches me and queue for the single toilet between 50 of us. Then off to some roads where I have to design some old bollocks to temporarily make the footpaths wider in a couple of market areas which I got given on Friday afternoon and they want on Monday night. This I will sketch on to the OS base before drawing it up when I get back home in the evening, only then realising my handwriting is rubbish and mostly unreadable. Then It's off to a new building site to measure up a temporary crossing for cranes and shit so I can price it and send them a letter demanding money with menaces. Then shoot over to another road to make sure Parking have put up suspension signs so I can swap some parking bays to the other side of the road on Friday. I have upset Parking last week so there is a chance they will play silly buggers with me as a punishment, or give me a foot way parking ticket again. Then marking out some new islands because we are being allowed to carry out any site work that takes less than 3 days and if I mark it out tomorrow I won't have to get up early on Wednesday when they want to start smashing holes in the road and want to know where all the power supplies are coming from/going in. Then 50 miles back home on lovely twisty country lanes because the weather report is glorious for tomorrow!!!!

KLR ridiers are always nice to cops because they have great connections when it comes to recovery services

My 18th birthday.....and I put a big screen on my 3TA! Went to the pub in the day and had a skinful! Then another skinful in the night! Then got home about midnight and rode straight into the garage doors and smashed the screen to pieces! We've all done it!

December 1981........I hit a patch of black ice doing about 70 on a country road approaching Lampeter in Mid Wales at about 7.30AM in the morning. Car went sideways up the road for about 100 yards till it impaled itself onto the main pole in a petrol station forecourt. The guy came running out of the office and said......"This is exactly what happened on an episode of Quincy last night".

Staying on the subject of helmets years ago when me and the wife used to go out on the bike i'd chain the helmets to the wheel of the bike so we wouldn't have to carry them with us, This one particular day we stopped at the seaside and went for a walk about and when we got back to the bike later i put the helmet on and it was wet the day was dry so in the few seconds thinking why is it wet the smell hit me something i'm presuming a dog had pissed inside my helmet and i had to ride home with it? I make sure the helmets are off the floor now when i lock them up

No hanging round outside public conveniences then @yen_powell?

.......normal service will be resumed on Monday! Get ready for more pitiful displays of Namby Pamby Riding like this! Just remember that the only good moisture is vaginal!

Way to close to water for my liking!

I love TrumpBucks.

I've got a few moments that are deeply memorable, but most memorable are two: 2014, first trip to Morocco on the 1150GS with my girlfriend, we arrive at Tangier on mid afternoon and spend an hour or two on customs, sort of lost and not really understanding what we were doing on each paperwork booth, I remember not being in a rush and sort of savoring the moment because it felt like all the adventure books and reports I had read. Then, as they slowly opened the harbor customs' gates we roll onto the seafront avenue in search of our hotel that was on the same avenue. It was quite warm and late afternoon by then, riding slowly with my jacket open, going past the bad fish smell that used to be in front of the old docks (now it looks like a nice european city), I remember the first roundabout and the first moments in morrocan city traffic, the usual gathering of guys at the end of the afternoon, what I remember as most memorable is the feeling of adventure and literally smelling Africa as we roll out of customs. It's maybe too romantic, but I do remember that I would never feel like that again, and I was right an the next few times that feeling got replaced by familiarity. This is on video, but for some reason both my external hard drives have not been cooperating and I am waiting for my brother to help me out with them, it'll take a while as he's in Croacia. 2017, the fourth trip to Morocco, second trip on the current 1200GSA, we get out of home at around 9AM on a saturday on late September, weather is nice but morning chilly, we get onto the motorway heading south and cross the Tejo river north of Lisbon and the bike feels specially smooth while we cruise at 120 or 130kmh, I remember thinking that we had a whole trip and adventure ahead of us, I remember the light, asking Maria if she was comfy. I appreciated that moment as it happened and would have been happy if that was the last moment in my life, the feeling of enjoyment of a whole trip ahead. The plan was to ride straight to Morocco that day, but the weather was so nice that when we got to the Algarve we decided to cut the day short, have a nice grilled fish lunch, and go have a swim in the ocean in the afternoon. Then a nice dinner and too much wine, it was one of the best days of my life. I remember the before was a saturday because on the next day, a sunday at around 07:00AM we are leaving home to heading to Tarifa and I remember to casually check my insurance papers to find that Morocco wasn't in my policy, and all insurance offices would be closed because it was a sunday ?. My mate Paulo, who does my insurances handled it at 8:00AM when I woke him up with a call, and that's why I will always have my bike's insurance with him. Another one, long time ago, I think maybe 2006, I was on a ride on my Transalp to the Serra da Estrela, got off the road onto a dirt road for 100 or 200 meters, and stopped for a piss. Parked the bike and left the helmet on top. As I finish and turn back to the bike I notice a dog is sniffing it, I assume it's a curious shepherd's dog but as it round the bike I see it's a little big for a dog, with a long snout, it's an Iberian wolf, which is quite smaller and thinner than north american wolves but still I was shitting myself. It moved 1 or 2 meters from the bike towards me, and I'm frozen with fear. It just quietly sniffed the air, and walked away. It was scary as hell.

i probably was at the time, my excuse is im single and i dont have a wife to bitch about everytime i have fun..LOL