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I'll get my boy in NL to do it.......he's the arty one! Example of his stuff......

Christmas ride 2019, deep in Alentejo, it was nippy in the morning Algarve:

Morocco, 2014 Morocco 2016: Portugal, Alentejo 2020 2020, also Alentejo

One of my favourite Dakar related photos, me with Patsy Quick....... Patsy Quick is an English off road motorcycle racer. She was the first British woman to compete in the Dakar Rally in 2003 and became the first British woman to complete it in 2006.

No photographs of most of my 4 wheeled vehicles. So snips from google instead. Well there are two real pictures below, one is a bit embarrassing. The first 4 wheeled vehicle I ever drove was a forklift truck, sort of like this one, with an embarrassing name. That was when I was 18. I didn't drive my first car officially until I was 22. Then after I passed my car test I got an ex Essex County Council Transit Truck. This sort of shape but rusty as buggery and bright yellow. Sold that for the same money I paid for it including dodgy MOT supplied by my then girlfriend's dad who's first name, even then, would get your head kicked in if you shouted it out loud in a pub. Let's just say it began with N and he shared it with Guy Gibson's dog. Then I bought a 1968 Beetle in grim grey for 200 quid in 1988. Had it sprayed up in Ford Rosso Red after fitting new front wings and running boards and sold it for about £1500 a year later. Then I got on my employers lease car scheme and took over my mates Ford XR2. Looked exactly like the screen grab below. Then I swapped that for an XR2i. Now I do actually have a picture of that one. Taken because some fuckers stole 4 of my wheels. Managed to keep that quiet from the lease company and went carless for a few years until fatherhood made me buy my 2nd favourite car of all time, slow, odd starting habits, but I liked it, a Peugeot 405 estate. Then I got a new Fiesta diesel, that thing flew. 1.8 or 1.9 engine from the Focus in a smaller lighter car. Got a bad back driving to Normandy and back in that. It was there at an unattended fuel station I discovered I didn't know what the French word for diesel was!!!!! Luckily a native hove into view and told me it was gazoil or something similar. Then a few years without a car and got a VW Golf diesel. I had my stroke the day after it was delivered and didn't drive it for 6 weeks as you get a min 4 week ban which in my case got extended by 2 weeks by my doctor. Then I got my current car which I bought in 2009 when it was about 9 months old. This one has been my favourite car so far, very slow, but I really like it. Passed its MOT today, after fitting a new front wiper blade as there was a small split in it. Here it is the day I bought it, not so shiny now as you can imagine with anything I own. As I tell everyone, if you're gonna have one, have a long'n! You have to set your watch and hour forwards if you sit in the back seat as it's in a different time zone.

Worst car I had was a Daytona Yellow Mk3 Cortina, I felt a twat as I sold my Suzuki TS250ER to buy the Ford and the seller stitched me right up. The head gasket blew after two weeks (he disguised the overheating issue by taking the thermostat out) and the two of the wheels only had 3 wheel nut holding them on. It looked like this but a lot shabbier............

I think this is off-road Near the top of the Stella Alpina in 2005, my mates Varadero is on the right, I'm behind him sorting something out on my Transalp. Take no notice of the others, they are mere casuals on their lightweight enduro bikes (or they got more sense than us) My mate found out on the way back down that the linked brakes on his Varadero were not a good idea on snow covered hairpin bends

I've had some fucking horrors......and I'll start with this! It'll take some beating! 1968 Reliant Regal 3/25......which I had in 1971 driving it on a motorcycle licence. And check out the spec......it had a 600cc engine and 25bhp! The G Force distorted my fucking face I can tell you! You got anything as embarrassing as that? Probably not.......but let's see what you got!

Holy fuck.....that hair did everyone's hair trimmers break or something? and you lot called that style back then?

ahhhhhh Warcraft, many many hours lost in that world, good thing I got a bike or I would still be a nasty ass-kick'n gnome with pigtails.....

You're the fucker who stole Bellend's wallet after he assfucked you! Then you offered oral sex to @Richzx6r Can't the Care Assistant's medicate you to get this deviant shit under control?

No.....there was also her laziness, her bad personal hygiene, and generally being a fucking mental bitch.

At the age of thirteen a mother of a friend told me I could have, one like this, if I got it off the driveway. Next was another almost freebie, £15 got me a Viva HB with a buggered clutch. http://www.simoncars.co.uk/vauxhall/slides/Vauxhall Viva 1968 Deluxe 4-door front.jpg I then get to my first legal car. Stuck an Allegro 1100cc engine in with a Cooper head and gearbox, still slow. After that was the normal Cortinas and fiestas etc. Nothing as bad as your lot. Hated being seen in the Herald as it was a dog, plod kept catching me in the Viva so that had to go. Actually they took it off from me. Had lots of fun in the Hornet though, posh mini.

Ignorance is bliss!

I like the style of the mk3 never had one but worked on them easy to maintain.?

That 71 pinto in the background, pics from Tampa 74ish.

I'll have another go........

I found some more photos of the repaint, most of the panels I found on ebay then I prepped and painted them myself.

I bought one of these 1975.

This is my submission, at 3/4 front: however... rear: 3/4 rear: top: Front: side:

Stringfellows had fuck all on the Navel, this is some of the clientele from back in the day so as you can see i fitted right in

Not one of my pastimes. How the hell do you think of this stuff.

I forgot I had this to use for about 6 months, it was my late dad's car and it was upsetting my mum on the drive outside her window after he passed away so I took it away. I green laned it a few times before selling it on and it was pretty good in proper gloop and super ruts. I thought about hanging on to it, but two cars take up too much room, you only need one to get spares for your bike.

I slept in a Wolesley Hornet once when the girl I got off with wouldn't let me into her parents house. I did get into the house in the morning though and her parents made me breakfast..... result ? I can confirm though that it's not a comfortable car to sleep in ?

I had a Robin 850 super van at 19 and didn't pass my test in a car until i was 24 it was all carpeted out in the back, I had some great times in it. I remember driving home from the Naval, a night club in Tonypandy with me my missus and 6 mates all pissed up in the back it was a little tight in there

Had two HCs one was ok the othe was crap wouldn’t run properly.

This was the end result: Can't say it's easy to edit something that is smooth to watch, with an intro, and most of all something not boring to watch. It is a learning curve and it takes me ages to do anything worthwhile watching, but if you are alone and bored and need to kill a few hours it's not the worse pass time. Wine helps, too.

Facebook with a #DPD on it. Should find them and the twat.

I'd never knock a Cortina Pete but the one I had was definitely a lemon, not only in colour ?

Pedro said we have till the 18th..... I was still picking which one. I will have a pic to you soon. This that ok? Just save me a spot because you know Bagheera will be looking good. ?

I had a Mk II, 2 x Mk III, and 4 x Mk IV. I found them great!

I got the next model up the hb my dad gave me it, checked it on the government web site it’s still registered so hasn’t been scrapped.?

Second car in 1972......which incredibly had 4 wheels! A 1966 Vauxhall Viva HA.

Here are some that I have pictures of.

HyperThyroidism makes me skinny, not my fault, being bald and fat is lifestyle i can only dream of, sad mode on....from chapter 7, My Life As a Pensioner, Lipchits Press, 2021

any good ?

Forget about the header, @XTreme, this is what you want.

I do have an old pic from when i rode big handlebared cruisers in Holland.

I don’t mean to be harsh but I think you need glasses.??

Probably a fucking DPD driver, over Christmas i had a message saying what time and day my boots were being delivered, i waited in (not that i could go anywhere anyway) and watched the UPS van pull up across the road from my house and then got a message saying sorry we missed you no answer at address as he drove off. Got another message with new date and time and again watched the DPD van pull up across the road and drive off before i could get my boots on to go out to him followed by another message saying sorry we missed you no answer at address. Fucker didn't get out of the van to see if i was in or not. Tried to complain but you cant speak to a person just send you round in circles got a third delivery date but this time i was ready sat there with my boots on but i needn't have bothered fuckers had subbed the job out to a private driver so he knocked my door and i got the boots. I was that pissed off the second time i saved the CCTV footage to report the lazy cunt but there was nowhere i could send it to s

Does it have to face front i prefer the rear like this

OH you sly fella...... ?

Hello Skyrider and welcome! No new ride reports from me for awhile - it's a bit cloudy and -17C here today. So I probably won't get out today...

Just found these. Bit more up to date.

I wonder if we're going to get a submission from @Buckster for this one?

Every few weeks I put up a post on FaceButt to publicise this place but it never seems to attract much attention! So I've decided to adopt a completely different approach than the usual "Join our Forum" etc......others do that too and we need to be different. So I went with this...... I'll see if that gets a better response......if not I'll step it up a level to something like..... "Adventure Motorcycles - We won't just fuck you up - We'll fuck you up for life". Any other hard hitting alternatives you can suggest?

That's got potential Bruce! And I think adding the phrase "You Pitiful Cunts" at the end could really resonate with people.

Just put a post on tell every fucker not to come visit this awful site, the nosey bastards won’t be able to stay away.?

"Connect with other sad fuckers just like yourself - For no reason at all".

Cheesecake™ always works.