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Got away with the FOGs of BMWCOSC to Death Valley. Nice temps in the 90s during the day, 60s a nite. Titus Canyon - fun dirt road, 33 miles long. Finishes into Death Valley thru narrow, winding section with steep walls hydrating by the pool in Furnace Creek

I won't be able to ride anywhere for a little while as the NHS will be interfering with me next week. Time to deal with the mild mannered kidney stone they spotted 2 years ago when I rode to A&E at 3am to discuss the other one that decided to make itself known with some forcefulness. So I thought I would have a ride about today with my camera in a tank bag for easy access. hence the lazy bastard photos, couldn't be arsed to get off the bike. I even got too lazy to take pictures in the end. All the best views are where it is either too narrow or too steep to stop. I am starting to think a video camera would be better because it was a beautiful ride but I will never manage to get pictures of the nice bits. I did this route last Saturday with an old workmate, I'd knocked it up on a ropey programme called Tyre and made two files which I loaded on to my Satnav. I like to have roads to myself if possible. It had to be two routes as there is an inch deep ford in the middle and no matter how often I tried it kept going the long way round. I thought I'd do the same route today, this time without worrying about someone following me. The route started at this sad looking pub. I once watched Jimmy Jones the comedian there, someone I had only heard on audio tape previously. He was famous for his 'kin this and 'kin that style of delivery. The pub got taken over and turned into a Thai restaurant and for a few glorious months there were 4 orange, yellow, green and blue dayglo plastic full sized palm trees with dayglo coconuts. The council made them remove those! I was gutted! From here I took narrow lanes through to Wethersfield via Great Saling and Shalford Green. Lots of daffodils about at the side of the road or on the junctions. Saw a cottage being rethatched and then I was riding through Wethersfield high street. Leaving Wethersfield I headed across to Sible Hedingham and Castle Hedingham, home of the famous side car company I believe. Out the other side of Castle Hedingam I saw this barn being built. For a brief period I did nothing but draw steel frame and reinforced concrete detail drawings. The trick is to make it impossible to get a spanner or socket on the connecting bolts by cunning design or even better, impossible to physically get a bolt through the holes in the first place. It's an art that is, I miss that type of work. I came into Lavenham, went down the pretty high street, but then turned off to follow the lanes through to Kersey. I stopped to test out my Yamaha cup holder. It is standard equipment, non of your having to pay extra like the BMW owners. I came into Kersey via a little side road that they don't signpost, possibly to keep oiks like myself out. Passed this weird shed, not sure what that is all about. Kersey is not on any sort of main road, no one passes through by accident. I stopped to take a picture of the inch deep ford that my Tyre programme didn't want to risk. Stopped to get rid of my earlier coffee as I was hopping up and down inside my head by then. I stopped taking pictures and carried on home via Bures, Boxford, White Colne, Coggeshall, Kelvedon and Cressing.

Two that don't really translate into english: "Teso que nem um carapau" Translated "Hard like a mackerel", fish, specially smaller fish get stiff after a few hours from being dead. Somehow being hard or stiff like a dead mackerel is what you are when you're broke and have no money. So you would say something like "I would invite you for a beer but I'm stiff like a mackerel" My favourite: "armado em carapau de corrida" Translated into "acting like (or pretending to be) a racing mackerel", obviously a racing mackerel is not a thing. When you're acting like you're the man, the best there is, playing yourself up, when in fact you are shit, you are acting like a racing mackerel.

Oh, it's a cup holder! I have the same on mine but have always used it as an ash tray...

So today I had a pint in the pub at two minutes past midnight, then I went for a swim at the local pool. After that i queued up at Primark to buy twenty fashionable items for less than £15.00. I then went to the zoo to see what animals were still alive , had a game a six-a-side football in the park and now I'm back in the beer garden for another couple of pints..................... and if you believe that you'll believe anything ............ BUT , you can bet your life that some wanker somewhere in UK has done most of that today

Today, Monday, is our last day of the trip and we'll head home to be greeted by snow and freezing temps. We'll ride the Colorado National Monument this morning and then hump it for the mountains of home.

We continued south, zooming along.....

Love riding here.......

Funny thing is i havnt been up to doing much, the pics i got took alot out of me. I dont like what i look like. People say i look like my father now. On the bright side apparently i actually knew my father. Buck was wrong im not a bass named tard. ?

Nah, there would be some weird EU legislation slowing it down. Fucking European cunts.

Today I went over the top of the mountain towards Oria......and this road is a tricky one in places! It gets very narrow, has a variable road surface ranging from billiard table smooth to bomb crater, and at some points you have a sheer drop on either side. What's frustrating is that I'm still not allowed to leave the province so I can't actually get to Oria itself.........because in doing so I'd be crossing the border into Ameria! So it's literally over the mountain and back the same way! Not ideal, but it's better than being under house arrest!

Actually, not all of me is still here, lets be honest... ?

Didn't notice the smear of something on the lense when I took them.

Have a good week everyone. ?

I always remember the advice given to me in the 1990s by a Hertfordshire TRF member, very old bloke, still riding about at that time though. He was talking about someone who had crashed quite hard and he looked me in the eye and said, "Remember, the trail rider who looks at scenery, liable to become part of the scenery!"

11 -5 everyone takes a break from Death cause its to hot.

Its not his fault, he’d never acted a jot before he talked them into giving him the job, you cant blame the man for having a go... although you ca blame him for ruining bond films ?

It's George Clooney, I know because I saw a picture of him on a scooter a while ago with his hot wife in the back, and he had a Harley helmet, and there you go, there must not be two guys on scooters with harley helmets

This is Bruce......

Guy on a motorcycle, so not @Bruce

Best part of being in Death Valley is that you feel like you are on another planet. With none of the day to day BS back home.

Some great riding to be had there. Thanks for giving us a look.

Sounds like you were doing important work saving the planet ?

You'll be impressed to hear that I have done sweet F.A. today. slapped a coat of varnish on the other side of the shutters so I can put them back together tomorrow. went for a stroll with the kids and took the bottles to the bottle bank. Ho Hum...already bored with Lockdown 3

Road thru Gateway is a Butler Maps Gold Route - some fine, fine tarmac! I think each time thru there we've been "cautioned" by the locals on our speed ? Have you ever taken that dirt road cutoff along the Dolores River? Comes out near Bedrock

Still, had a good ride today......

It was at this point we decided to say "fuck it" and head back. It was getting late in the day and we wouldn't get home until after 10:00 PM if we continued to Four Corners. Wil have to save it for another day.

Looking back at the valley we just crossed as we climb up to the hills...

A quick stop to get outta the Sun at the Bedrock Store. Closed now, used to be a fuel stop for us years ago, But no more....

Getting closer to the cool air of the hills...

It kept getting flatter as we moved along. Not a curve in sight...

I have no idea what this old kiln looking thing out in the middle of nowhere is. Kinda cool though...

Towards the south, the Canyon opens up and spits you back into the desert...

Dropped into the curvy Canyon for a great ride to begin our day.....

Made it to Gateway Canyon on Sunday - mostly empty roads, sunny and warm. I like it!

How’s about that drummer you fancy.

Its a thing. Got the foldup chairs front casters adjusted to make high speed 90 degree turns, Shes' a fucking bucket of scooby doo awesomeness now on the wood floors and through the doors. ?

They cant film the next EuroPeon Vaction movie in Britain anymore? Who;s idear was this? ?

DCT on top of that, for clitoris for dummy reader's

South of France, near Cahors

We are still on lockdown, Scotland basically shut down over a year ago and hasn’t opened up again. The SNP (Scottish Nazi Party) have got drunk on the power trip.

And lest we forget Philly Spielberg';s video from the day...

Utah never disappoints, great riding, no traffic and good scenery....

Today we went into Utah. I've posted pics from these roads on other reports, but they sometimes bear repeating...

Oh yeah, Phil's video of the day....

Ain’t you got a broom.

We always called it the "Cowboy's Pants Arch" when we were kids....

Had to do some off roading to get the best pic of the most famous arch in Utah; The Delicate Arch....

Looks like red rocks from Mars...

And then too lazy to do a Ride Report! And about time we seen one from you too Alan! And from @Renegade. Let's be honest.......it must be the ultimate humiliation for you Cardiff types having to be carried by a Jack?