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A forgotten photo from friday. I stood out on the path precisely where my mate would need to turn to find our lovely empty camping spot with a pint of beer, he said its the best festival welcome he’s ever had! Anyway back to Saturday. Saturday- This morning is a less than an exciting start, I knew for sure the longer I could hold onto the sides of the sleeping bag the better life would be. I’m not on my own in this and nobody is ready to do anything until several cups of tea have been drunk but by lunch time hunger pangs motivate us to get some sort of hangover cure. Some excellent quality burgers provided the necessary sustenance, don’t ask me how but somehow we were ready to roll again ‘The Dirty Cow’ burger a hangover cure n a half. Next Mr Slowly goes for a test ride on a Ducati scrambler, to his surprise he was booked for an off road ride, a surprise to him because even with minimal bike experience he thinks the Ducati Scrambler quite rightly is no off road bike. Before they set off he’s thrilled to hear its very muddy and slippery and they’ve had to shut some sections of the 20 mile course… not His first instructions is- “On this section DO NOT touch your front brake at all” but Mr Slowly is one of those people that just doesnt follow instructions, sometimes because he just doesnt like being told what to do by anyone so doesn’t listen and sometimes he just wants to see what will happen… not even three metres from take off his hand stretches out towards the front brake and while one part of his brain is shouting NOOOO the other part makes him squeeze that lever- the bike goes one way and him the other. This piss taking was monumental cos who hasn’t experienced this demented brain quirk at some point? Sadly no pics cos as usual when you’re having a really good time taking pics goes out the window. Had a good old view of the Harely Pan America which I think is much better in the flesh and in black, still cant make my mind up about it though and agree with Mr Slowly it would be vastly improved by a knight rider ‘Kit’ red led strip swooping left to right on the front. Probably saying “Good morning Mr Money Bags, where can I take you today? Ive taken the liberty of sacking the bike valet after finding I still have grit in my bellypan” About 10 of Himalayan trip women are up for the pub quiz so after a couple of much needed hairy dogs we wander over to the quiz area. I dont really enjoy these things because theres always someone who’s competitive nature takes over and it gets way too serious, if you take 10 people of their tenacity theres gonna be more than one competitive soul… Eventually the stupidity ends and the fun begins when we decide to partake in a couple more refreshments and some mild heckling of Steph while she does her Q&A session with the Sidecar Guys, somehow its seems to go down very well and Steph messages to to say thankyou Unfortunately Ive accidentally spent all my fun tokens the night before dancing late which I was told the next day is not allowed. Id broken the rules- No dancing singing or shouting to reduce the chances of Covid transmission.. oops. So I bow out gracefully before tottery me appears (unlike the night before ) and have to accept if I dont get some sleep I may end up in the medical tent in a foil blanket sipping electrolytes. Four of my Himalayan Trip compadres before things took off on Saturday.

Friday- a massive influx of too many people occurred. The numbers increased enormously but the facilities available had not been calculated correctly… cue the queues. Who wants to queue for 1-2 hours for food or drink and a lot of the concessions ran out of food by 8pm there will be plenty of complaints I’m sure. Fortunately they didnt run out of booze and what with the restrictions only recently lifting allowing these type of events the general mood remained pretty good. As luck would have it we seemed to have camped in a magical little spot out of view with plenty of space and its own separate toilet and showers- a massive result and plenty of room for friends joining us today. Bike camping being what it is a lot of people had brought their own food and drink (or quickly did) and the food stalls upped their game so by lunch time the next day the queues had reduced significantly (apart from for ablutions) and the the good times were rolling again. So many nice bikes to look at it was hard to know where to start the drooling. I was surprised to find myself drawn to two total marmite bikes, the latest Hayabusa and the carbuncled BMW that is the R18. The R18 is IMO much better looking in real life. The mahoosive chromed boxer engine sticking far out of the frame leading into their symmetrical dual ‘classic exhaust’ (thats the double round one not the rather odd fishtail jobby with the ‘authentic’ ugly seam) was on another planet, it looked like a cool 50’s spaceship and I was more than happy to hop aboard. The chrome was that thick chrome you’d expect and shouted “I’m a quality beast”. I was extremely surprised how easy it was to lift off the stand, its 345 kilos and felt so much lighter than my 240kg Bandit. I also discover theres an option for a reverse gear…. I think I might NEED it for Route 66 so now its just the small matter of £18,995… The Hayabusa I sat on before Id even looked at what it was, I just thought it looked like fun. The sales guy wandered over so I asked a few questions, when I got to BHP, he replied its 188 which made me burst out laughing, now theres a bike worth maiming yourself for But as usual this is also on the “HOW MUCH?!?!?” list with a starting price of £16,495. Hey ho… dreams can come true After pint number two was finished (dont get me started on the shameful ciders available- at one point my only option was a bottle of ‘Berries and Cherries’ an utter abomination that has no right to be called cider) all chances of actually going out for a ride disappeared into happy bike chat occasionally drowned out by the sound of motorbike engines and the stink of exhaust fumes.. bliss. Id like to show you a pic of happy people drinking but all I have is a pic of walking back to the tent and tbh its a fair representation of how the end of the evening went

A very quick ride report about a very quick round trip to the river Zêzere and back!! A customer and friend asked me if I didnt want to joined them for lunch up in the Center of Portugal, around 200kms away from Ericeira, and seeing its Monday, designated day-off, I grabbed the offer with both hands! Absolutely love this region, one day will write a report about it!! Zezere!! This is a special river, a favourite of mine, meadering all the way from Serra the Estrela to the Tagus river, joining in Constância. Its famous world wide because viewd from high up looks like a dragon! It has a few very iconic towns along the way, one passed today is Dornes, a village established by Templer Knights, with a high up position overlooking a large bend of the river, its perfect strategic point to control the surrounding land. And the dam wall on the picture is from Cabril Dam, exactly the same mentioned on my previous ride report! It was pure coincidence I went there today, but when things like this happen I feel a special kind of fuzzy feeling inside! Happy-happy! There was no time to visit any of the other cool places, got a call to see a sick doggie and had to return! Vets Day-off is not something doggies understand!! Had to get on the motorway, grabed a little coffee and Pastel de Nata, the national pastry, as lunch and was home in a jeefy!! Not legally, but in a jeefy!! Ear plugs courtesy of Pedro, looking after me from far away!! Still, here are a few pictures! And a link to a write-up from a biker that is super informative: https://bermudarover.wordpress.com/2021/01/08/dornes-and-the-zezere-river/

Sunday- Not a very exciting instalment because today we’re on the road home by 10 in the morn. Some of the Himalayan trip women want to do the yoga at 7.30 am (I feel yoga is chasing me) but no amount of arm twisting is going to prize me from my warm tent for exercise at that hour- nutters. We spend some time talking about this motoguzzi, about the Italians grasp of aesthetics, about perfectly machined parts and the reliability of different brands/bikes and what was wrong with them, you know the sort of stuff, Nortons rubber mounted engine etc etc, it was a geek fest of epic proportions, right up my street. Can’t remember whose bike this is though, anyone know? Its clearly a RTW travellers but I cant remember or maybe dont know who did it on a Guzzi? Due to a pet emergency we’re packing up early, the emergency being one of the dogs has a load of shite wedged over its rear end and seems distressed about it… scoot scoot… scoot scoot scoot. My sons want to take it to the vet rather than deal with it! I tell them no way, get some gloves man up but by 9am its still not done so things literally went to dog shit As we pack up and the tent starts to be folded the gnarly lump of wood we’ve been carefully walking around for four days turns out to be the missing tent pegs, the missing tent pegs that had me wandering from tent to tent with my hands out asking anyone if they had any spare My camp neighbours (really nice blokes) who took the mick continually about forgetting the tent pegs a had hearty laugh at that one. Yet again I have failed to attend the vast majority of the talks I wanted to get to… but it was worth it, lots of bikes and lots of well oiled bikers meant a good time was had by everyone. I met some really good festival people this year who love bikes and just wanna have some fun so we did We arrive home to find the boys had managed to brace themselves for shittery and had even found some germaline for the dogs arse, very proud of them Next up a very short coast to coast mid July from Robin Hoods bay to Morecambe with a 78 year old man on a 125 shopping trolley. What could possibly go wrong?

.....than when you go out for a run, try and get a nice few shots, and some dull cunt in a van comes along and fucks it all up! What you say @Mawsley?

I used to love driving a white van, no need for indicators everyone just gets out of your way!

finally the effort i put in on here is getting some recognition .

Yes, 650 I think. The owner is my customer and rides that thing like he stole it!! He is a cross of hipster with offroad pro!! So funny, ridding with Van trainers and skinny jeans, but really well, which is not very hipster!! I laughed a lot today!! And its always special when people over then 10 years your junior want to hang out, specially with bikes! It sure makes me feel more my "correct" age, that is around 30ish!! The Strom is very capable!! Amazing what I saw it do today!! Not sure the Honda NC500X is that good, maybe....Saying that, wherever we stopped it was the Triumph that left people with feelings of lust and desire! Not even the Guzzi could match the allure of the English Rose!

I couldn’t shift a low rider or the other lovely Harleys theyre too heavy, this with a reverse gear I could. Agree the lean angle is very small but Id live with it riding the straight roads of America (like most of Route 66) after which Id polish it and drink beer next to it just like a Harley rider Yep off road on an FJR and a pint would be impressive but no he drank some and followed directions 200 metres to the camping sweet spot where I reappeared with the rest of his pint

Yeh......and he carried on to Assen and won MotoGP.......without spilling a drop!

Female bits!!.....last time I saw any of them was when our daughter was born!......37 years ago!......so a refresher would be appreciated!.

Mosquito trap..... lands on salt thinking its sugar, gets thirsty , thinks bottle cap has water in it but its really rum , gets drunk , trips over stick , bangs his head on stone , hence killing it self .

Here we go......the poll closes on Wednesday 30st June 8PM GMT! You get one vote......but you are able to change it if you want! These are the entries....... six30 XTreme boboneleg Sofia Sir Fallsalot Grasshopper's Ride Mawsley Tym So get your votes in!

And you blame your heavy usage of tissues on a nasal problem! Just admit it.

Ah yes you’re spot on. I saw his book (not read it yet) he did a trip 40 or 50 years ago and has just written it up. Remember that when youre giving us a flogging for not writing up ride reports, we’re just fermenting them for a few decades before posting

Maybe he does, how do you know he doesn't?!

Agree its not my video i'm just in it so i didn't name it. it is steep but no real challenge in the dry

Roses!.....We will never know. So back to @XTreme,s original ploy.......

Not with me you dont!! I smell of roses!!

Thats too long, not sure I trust you to identify correctly!!

I was waiting for you to start moaning about something Fred! You truly are a miserable cunt!

Very disappointed with the lack of Whitty comments on the photo's this month @XTreme your just getting too damn lazy

@Sir Fallsalot's Africa Twin for me, that road is what motorcycling is all about to me.

I’m not a collector of ‘star photos’ I always feel sorry for them with every one asking them the same questions and being overly friendly when they dont even know them, must be annoying! Didnt see Sam, he was probably hidden from sight by a gaggle of admirers

Im nominating a certified winner.

Royal Enfield seams to have cornered that market... I now have serious doubts regarding my gender...

this is a hill...

ok Scooter boy .

Gay

looks in better nick now

It must be a fucker when the furthest your bike has travelled is 10ft into the back of a van in weeks......... @Tymis excused, he has a tractor

@XTreme you twat , that’s not my van

That's the one Ogri's bloody fault.

Posted on the FB group for the 650GS..... .....with the comment "This is what your GS is for!" Mine isn't that's for sure! This happened in the US! The guy was offroading, lost control and ended up landing in a creek with the bike on top of him. Been operated on for a broken leg, and also has two broken fingers. Hospital have kept him in because he needs a second op on his leg. The bike was eventually dragged out by a Quad.......no idea on the damage! Stick to Namby Pamby FFS.......never did me any harm!

Antler's Inn at 17:19 in Walden! We will be staying here on trip next month - on the return from Montana.

Too many cars on my picture...

Nasty crash....

a bit hazy eh

i had a vito at the time

Late 70's I think......he was one of the pioneers!

If I'm not mistaken that's Chris Donaldson's bike!

Maybe he does!thats what stunted his growthl

I took a seat on an R18 the other day, and completely agree that it hides it's weight very well, it has ridiculously low ground clearance and lean angle though. As far as I'm concerned I would take a Harley over one any day. Also my legs were a little cramped, which is not cool on such a bike. I am curious about looking at a Harley Pan America in person, the looks are growing on me. I am not one for black bikes as they're so hard to keep looking nice, but that one looks amazing. I might have missunderstood, @Slowlycatchymonkey, but did that guy with the FJR ride holding that full glass of beer? If so, that's really impressive.

And this is what it looked like in 1959.

giving blow jobs to lorry drivers isn't getting laid ...