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Lands End just arrived from John o Groats overnight. June 2005.

I agree, I hate it when that happens.

I will get the wife to send me one, she has a way with words....useless, wanker and knob head are her favourites.

Midget bumbing in a desert 🏜

Phew.....thank god this isn't a large group!

Getting a happy meal for your latest victim?

There was a bloke on the late Terry Wogan's radio show called John Marsh, used to do the weather and also the shipping forecast as well. I think that when it was discovered his wife was called Janet, a listener started writing Janet and John stories, similar to early years reading books, but with a rude twist. It was all based around John being a badly dressed child-like pensioner with a weak bladder and a sticky beard and Janet being a domineering wife with a liking for extreme sports. The stories were read out live on air, no idea how they got away with it in the mornings, the crew were nearly wetting themselves when they heard the first part knowing what was coming. Sometimes I did when I heard them as well. The real Janet and John publishers tried to shut them down, but they were used to raise a lot of money for charity later on. There are loads of these, but here is one that tickled me. They are short, so don't panic if you have a Wogan phobia.

Who hasn’t tentatively entered a building with 100 people in it, to attend a business meeting, only to find out it’s a rather joyous party, only to find out it’s actually your birthday that day, to then discover the party’s for you? It’s a nightmare when that happens.

You're 9 months too late you bellend!

In Scotland people are now allowed to stand next to each other.

News just breaking that Bozo threw a birthday party for himself in The Cabinet Room during lockdown in June 2020! With about 30 people present! Apparently he's stated that “Nobody told me it was my birthday.”

Anyway, the grammar school was 10 miles from were I lived, saved my parent's some money on bus fares with failing the 11+.

There are major advantages to looking like a down and out, just ask Columbo Last week I took my dog to a new vet for vaccination, she looked me up n down in my nice frock, expensive coat n posh boots and rubbed her hands together Del Boy style, I actually thought oh shit, I know better than to go anywhere like that looking like I have deep pockets! 10 mins later the receptionist said £139.65 (Id been previously been told £60). What? For one dog, for one booster? Yes. There’d been a funeral (hence the nice clobber) and I wasnt thinking straight, in shock I paid and left. The next morning I woke feeling absolutely furious, particularly at the thought when I take my other dog down next week for her jab thatll be a smidge short of £280 on two f’in dog boosters..WTactualF?!?! Im no mug and this “professional” had seen I was feeling wobbly and truly taken the piss. I went back in that morning but this time in my overalls and steel toe cap boots looking the normal ragged state of someone who works. After some bullshit and some extended discussion (where I pretty much repeatedly shamed them until they could take it no more) there was an apology for the mistake and the money would be credited to my account. Bet they wouldnt have tried that shite on Columbo! So I can get us in for a viewing no worries, Ill play the unamused money bags and you can do the tutting over the cost of the renovations and we could pick it up for a few pence, he who dares Rodders

me too! what a fucking waste of space that exam was, 3 people in our family failed it, my sisters husband ( who went on to work with electromagnetic super conducteurs, designing and building magnets such as those used to curve the beam of whateveritis in the large hardon collider at CERN) my sister, who went on to do a language degree and is now teaching) and my self ( er...yeah...ok... )

Well the plans should have been looked at and approved by the Planning Dept and then by Building Control. And maybe they were and this was deemed to be okay. The investigation might throw some light on to this. This picture was sent to show me that some concrete was used when I asked about the surround, there are pipes emerging from the new building in quite a few places as you can see. I have no idea what they all are. I have no idea if what was put back to bring the levels back up to footway level have been layered and compacted properly either. Plus you can't dig up the Highway, even behind a hoarding, without all the necessary permits and permissions and I know for definite that hasn't happened. It's a clusterfuck as Mr Eastwood would say.

Now you've been told by @Tym.......stop turning this place into a MENSA site with your intellectual hypotheses! Keep an eye on him @Clive

MENSA!........I failed the 11 plus.

What Tym said.

tis, i actually done that in Mcdonalds the other day , couldn't see the number on the ticket properly .... bad lighting of course

In the car today. Tucked away in Blackwall is Trinity Bouy Wharf. Today it was cold and empty. After a Mini Fat Boy, (a breakfast consisting of pancakes, syrup, fried egg, sausage, bacon, hashbrown and a mug of tea) in the old American diner I saw that the lighthouse was open so popped up to take some pics. The dark blue grandad estate car is mine, known as Moby Dick due to its length and slow speed.

Not a joke, but plenty of knobs. If you get bored, fast forward to 9:25 and watch the Jeep nearly miss the ford altogether and end up in the river proper, followed a few minutes later by someone in a jacked up offroader killing his vehicle

i was half expecting to see some jack twats head poking around the corner in one of those photos

He wasn’t all there, he never is.

Didn't he also appoint the person who arranged the first party to investigate

Good luck with the surgery Ian

that gif reminds .... watch Ozark @XTreme netflix i think

This isn't the time or the place for an Incomprehensible PM Clive!

I passed.......and look where I ended up!

They asked my mate in street lighting to move a lamp column because the root was in the way of their drain run. I asked them 'what drain run?' and that's how I found out about it. I reported it then (November) to the people that are supposed to care about that sort of thing, nothing happened. Then when the hoarding came down I couldn't believe how many lids there were. I was in meetings all day on day 1, so by the time I got in to the borough the next day excavation had started which was when I called a halt to the work and reported it all over again to the same people as before who are rushing about now to sort it all out.

It's wicked isn't it. If I didn't look like a down and out I could rock up to the estate agent and demand a viewing. But if I did that they'd set the dogs on me.

The lovely old abandoned house on the ford in Kersey (see top most post) was in the paper today. Lots of internal pictures of the dilapidation. Needs a lick of paint or what? https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10435435/Grade-II-listed-home-dating-1490-goes-market-1-4million.html

Not following him into the water though.

Yes, they carry on behind where I was standing AND away into the distance behind the part still hoarded section. There will be more lid than footway if it is allowed to remain. I have a picture of one being built and the ground worker's nose is level with the footway level so they are reasonably deep as well. I also only noticed the balconies over the footway when I looked at the picture. Something else you can't do without an oversailing licence. My mate was standing under one when the resident was washing its floor with a mop and bucket. He got a head covered in bleachy water as it ran out of the corner drain.

Brilliant. Never been great at war memorial stuff myself, probably because of my own families history I find it heartbreaking, greed and insanity leading to so much death. I go I look and I leave quickly before tears embarrass other people. I went to the Holocaust exhibition and the imperial War museum and only got a quarter of the way round before I had to break into into a trot to get out ASAP. Got some weird looks and had a lot of tea breaks on that trip On a lighter note. Glad you have the right helmet for the right job now and the hjc is a good fit for you, when I tried that brand I had enuf spare space for my sandwiches (insert own joke about sandwich short of a picnic)

no... im not fucking blind

did you keep bringing it backwards and forwards to read it and then finally take your glasses off , seen that done so many times

Grim is the word here. The birthplace of West Ham United and they built some early iron and steel battleships here. I was just visiting a short length of footway outside. When the developer removed his hoarding around their new town houses for me to start building a new footway I discovered they had constructed their own private drainage system on the public highway and there were wooden lids scattered about for all the manholes. I told the contractor to put the new kerbs in, chuck down and compact some type 1 and to then put temporary black top over it to make it safe then to leave the site. I called the developer and told them I was stopping work pending an investigation into the potentially illegal works. Just wanted to see how far the contractor had got, seems the black top isn't done yet.

There are various art installations dotted about, plus a few bouys and anchory/sailory stuff.

The stairs go on for ever, despite it being a short lighthouse. There is a max number of people warning on them as they are not that strong.

Sue Gray's been called in?