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I think I had planned 1500km for this trip and door to door was 1508km according to the trip meter on the bike. it also showed 24h50 minutes riding time ( a little less in reality as I don't always switc the engine off when stopping for a pic or slapping the sat nav or whatever but call that "saddle time" and it'd be about right) fuel consomption was around 5,8L per 100 km. I left home on wednesday morning under clear skies and temps of around 8 to 10 deg c. The first stage was south to Clermont Ferrand on roads that I have ridden many times before. Crossing the Loire, westbound at Pouilly sur Loire I rode south on the left bank of the Loire for a while further before stopping for a coffee break. Budget restrictions being what they are ( and I'm something of a cheapskate at the best of times...) coffee from a flask was the order of the day and I just stopped at a convenient spot at the roadsiide by the river. Tigger in full touring Mode: despite the sunshine, I still had thermal liners in jacket and trousers at this point. I picked up the A75 southbound shortly after this at Monmarrault and as the weather rapidly deteriorated I hunkered down and concentrated on "making progress", switching from the "scenic" gps app to "Coyote" which warns of any speed cameras or dangers on the road as well as basic navigation. I really didn't need any avigational aids as I simply had to run south untill junction 37. This was a boring, if reasonable short interlude just concentrating on the road ahead and despite the rain keeping the speed needle around 140km/h ( the French Autoroutes are limited to 130 under normal circumstances, but in rain are limited to 110 and 140 on the tigers clocks gives a real speed of around 135, hence the usefulness of advance warning of any speed cameras, mobile or otherwise. ( it's not an infallible system, but for 50€ a year it only has to avoid 1 10 km/h exess speed fine to be viable. ) Once off the Autoroute, the road eastwards from Marvejols to Balsieges, before joining the Gorges du Tarn proper was superbe. The weather was still cold and damp, with 10/10ths cloud cover but only actually raing in brief showers. These showers are much easier to deal with wearing waterproof riding gear rather than having to stop and clamber in and out of rain gear every half hour. then the start of the Gorges du Tarn proper. riding down the Gorges was stunning, I can honestly say that I have never seen anything like it, there's certainly nothing on this scale in the Uk. Having the road to myself, mostly due to the bad weather was a bonus cos I imagine it would be heaving with bikes and camping cars during the summer. The main problem was actually staying on the road which winds seemingly endlessly downwards hanging onto the edge of the mountainside, on a balcony to go around a buttress, through a tunnel from time to time, squeezing through a gap between the cliff face and an outcrop, never straight or level or of equal width for more then a dozen yards and all this on a wet surface whilst gawking open mouthed at the incredible scenery. Wow! just... Wow. Once it was over and I was nearly at the bottom I realised I had taken no pics, just too gobsmaked by it all to function normally. It was about 18:30 when I rode into Millau from the west. I had provisionally booked a bed in a local "Gite d'Etape" ( bit like a youth Hostel) which, using my sleeping bag and sorting myself out food wise, would only cost me 15€ ( remember what I said about being tight fisted?) It was raining steadily now and when I stopped at a supermarket to grab a salad and sandwich for my supper, I phoned ahead to tell him I was about 15 minutes away. I mentioned I was just getting some food and he said " you can't eat here." I new that they weren't doing food cas I was the only guest, but I had previously said that I would grab a sarnie on the way in. He now decided that he wasn't happy with me eating a sandwich in my room either! Bearing in mind it was now pissing down I told him he could fuck off and hung up. ooopsss... Google to the rescue ( much as I hate to admit it the smartphoe is a very useful tool in this sort of situation, it took me about 3 minutes to find the nearest hotel mercure / Ibis ( 800m away) and book a room for the night with free undercover secure parking for the bikeand breakfast included for 80€ ( tight fisted up to a point...) I already had food for the evening and the welcome and service at the hotel were excelent and I mad good use of the facilities which were far superior than I would have found in a gite d'etape. The view from the hotel room window It was too late to go and look at the viaduct / suspenders bridge and as I had planned a short easy run the next morning I decided to leave it till then.

Can you believe it? I got out for an hour! 18C and blue skies! Stopped at my boy's place on the way back......phoned him from outside and said bring Jake out but don't tell him I'm here! So I put my helmet back on......Jake comes out and just looks over sheepishly. I then take my helmet off and he sees it's me, so he runs over shouting Grandad and gives me a cwtch. Priceless moments after 4 years separation!

He doesn't have a particularly slapable face, quite the opposite Hmm best lay off the bloody marys

They even give you free food here just for ordering a drink! They haven't bought into the savage ideals of capitalism, working out how to get every cent from every interaction at every opportunity isn't their bag. I love it. Last saturday a taxi driver took us to pick up a very large food order, I needed him to wait while I picked it up and then give us a lift home. I explained I was happy to pay for the waiting time, he wouldn't have any of it. Back home that clock would have been started and kept running double time. He picked up a mate of his en route and they both jumped out of the car and helped bring the bags into the house. Its a different mentality.

Day 2 With an easy mornings ride planned for today I had a bit of a lie in and wallowed in the luxury of a a hotel for a while, which then included numerous visits to the breakfast buffet where their strategy of supplying mini croissants and pain au chocolats in the hope that people just take one failed miserably. I also managed to sneak my flask in for a passage under the spout of their coffee machine... I looked up how to get to the viewing area for the famous Millau viaduct but the only answer seemed to be via the autoroute and the bridge tolls. Not happy about that ( tightwad!) i determined to get my paper map out and work a route where I could get close to the viewing area without paying. As I loaded the bike in the garage, the hotel handyman came out of his little workshop in the courtyard so I asked him. " of course," he replied, " you go up to Le Cavalerie, but you'll see nothing today..." The cloud base was effectively low in the valley, but I decided to try anyway. The road going on from that view point had a sign saying " narrow road. passing dificult. Use passing points." That sounded like fun, and as it went in the right direction I decide to give it a go. Steep and narrow it was, and at the top there were some lunatics preparing to leap off the hill top with a tent strapped to their backs ( parasailing I believe they call it) but in almost zero visibility!? Nutters I tell you! I mahaged to get one pic of the scenery through a break in the clouds but the rest of the mornings ride was done in miserable conditions, cold, wet and at an average of about 30km/h as the visibility was at times down to about 50 metres and these mountain roads don't have barriers... I eventually ended up in Capestang around half 12, having had an interesting jaunt off road when the road leading into Capestang had a big barrier across it saying " Road closed for maintenance" no other information and no deviation signs. I turned left and let the Scenic nav app re calculate the route. I had, unfortunately NOT ticked the box marked "avoid gravel or dirt roads" which wasn't a problem usually as I had the planned route prgrammed in but once off the planned route... nothing difficult or nast, just gravel and dirt for about 5 km whilst we boxed round the closed section, and then we arrived at the port in Capestang as the sun came out. This was my nights lodgings, and a handy restaurant right on site provided a Burger, chips and salad Lunch for 16€. The plan was to raid @Tango's larder and fridge for evening meal as he had, perhaps foolishly, suggested he feed me that evening. Unfortunately my oppo who runs the base here and who was not working today had left a message to say that he'd be coming in specially this evening so 's we could go for a meal. I couldn't decently refuse, so had to indecently turn down Tango's very kind offer of turkey curry. Once I'd fed and watered, i rang Tango to see where he was at but the phone number he'd given me didin't work... My immediate thought was " shit, somebody's warned him...". Well I had plenty f time so I left him a PM on here ( wonderful clever things these 'ere smart phones) and rode the 30 odd minutes into Narbonne where I'd stop and see if he'd replied, if not then I'd go see the sea. He had replied and still denies he gave me a duff number on purpose... I spent a pleasant couple of hours drinking his tea and grubbying his sofa with my roadstained person and I can safely say he's another person off this forum who's a thouroughly nice bloke and meeting him was a bonus to the trip. Thanks @Tango. I had to run out on him before his Mrs came home and was predictably late for meeting my colleague but hey, I'm supposed to be on holiday right? At least this way the company paid for a feed.

You're obviously a pair of gayers in denial ...............

Is it just me or all this stuff between @Mawsley and @Six30 just boring as fuck

If it is really gay it will vape.

Hope this isn't a Flounce! Mawsley is the only one here who can string a sentence together properly.

Thanks lovely. Generally I do

You know you have done well when the kid yells MOTORCYCLE! Everytime he see's a motorcycle.

Not surprised based on your pics to be honest, old saying, pretty girls can have fun anywhere.

Hey.....you've pulled @Sir Fallsalot!

Well I know that now but my experience of the word meant they wanted far more than a hug Thats why I was surprised to read Sir Fallsalot saying he was waiting for his wife to come home and give him a cwtch. He's not normally that rude

Im rather relieved to discover cwtch doesnt mean what I thought it did

I think it's the only time I have ever used the phrase " You have got to be fucking kidding me!" in the context of scenery.

An online reference to a local legend of dancing witches being turned into stone trees got me searching out more information. Sure enough the place existed and only about 18 miles away from where I live. A bit of a search on GSV showed that you could drive as far as a small medieval church and then walk through the grave yard and around a small moat to see the trees. Also mentioned online was that the trees were on private property and you had to walk around them on public footpaths. I found the road leading into a farm and the church. Straight away I saw signs forbidding vehicles to pass a certain point on the road, not to turn around there, not to park on the verge, not to park on the road, keep all dogs on leads, walk only on the footpath, keep out of the fenced areas etc, I have never seen so many signs in one place. I suspect the ruined trees are all that survived from a once lush wood, all the trees being turned into wooden and paper signs. I parked a metre off the road in an area that was once grassed verge but had been scrubbed out by vehicles leaving the farm yard and cutting the corner, just next to a sign saying No Parking. I figured if the verge was private they would have put their fence around it so it was part of the road and there were no properly legal No Parking signs, they were just bluff and bluster. Leaving my bike I walked through the church path gates. This was heavily signed, forbidding everything you could think of, plus a few things I hadn't. I made a note to try these things later on. The path turned a sharp corner and there was the abandoned church, fencing surrounded it with, you've guessed it, plenty of signs warning me to be good. The church looked fantastic, I will be returning when it is open again, the sign people look to be doing a good job fixing it up so I shouldn't really have a dig about the signs. I walked through one of the smallest graveyards I have ever seen and in front of me was a gate (multi-signed of course) and a short path to a second gate, also signed. I could see the tops of a few creepy looking trees the other side of a hedge. A quick loop around the moat and I was on a grass path next to the trees. I took a few pictures and carried on to a ploughed areal with a cross field path and took a few pictures from the side. It is a bizarre site, the trees are obviously dead but haven't rotted away like I'd expect. There are lots of new trees which looked recently planted. When I returned to my bike I was just getting ready to leave when an old man came cycling up and we had a chat. 45 minutes later he was still chatting. He had the uncanny knack of never finishing any sentence before starting the next one which made him quite hard to follow. Subjects he covered included, the Battle of Maldon, Viking raids, the manufacture of pressed house doors in the 1970s, shift and night working, Anglo Saxon coinage and the cost of cycle inner tubes. In the end I told him I had to leave for an urgent appointment and he rode off to look at the church I had just left.

I'm clearly in the wrong business, I should move to the uk and set up sign printing. that's firkin ridiculous! great story Yen.

Maybe i can help stop it seizing up until he has it

So Miss Australia got sold yesterday evening. She is going to a mate who is currently in South Africa awaiting his Land Rover to arrive on a container ship. God knows when he's going to get to ride the bike .

Might be the colour’s name: babyshit yellow!

Gang warfare

That was me with a little help from @Tym

A bit disappointed and happy with todays bike swap day. Disappointed because the guys bringing the two bikes i actually wanted to try didn't show up but real happy that every 2 stroke bike i rode had me yearning to be on my Beta they were hard work to ride as trail bikes which is great because it means i made the right choice when i bought the Beta X trainer i couldn't wait to get back on it

My mate broke two ribs by carrying his mobile in his chest pocket and hitting the turf on Salisbury Plain, my answer was 'your a shit rider '

You're sounding a lot more upbeat these days Pedro.....that's good to see!

Looks to me like copying Six like he’s some kind of positive role model has become a thing on this forum.

Gay

Big John still gobbing off @Six30

Memories @Rob M

Frank Warrens still alive?! Not only alive but looking exactly the same shithead as he ever did. Deal with the devil methinks.

Generally I am a relaxed sort. I know the British are understandably not a particularly liked breed but I have had the warmest of welcomes. Lots of smiley eyes even in places as dull as the supermarket. I'm a bit frustrated now with my lack of spanish language. Thats something I have to tackle asap.

Excellent Chris, great photos as well. I'm sure you enjoyed getting away for a few days with some time to yourself

So in early May Miss USA arrives from France............ and I will still have Miss Australia................. Now the whole idea of this exercise is to cull my collection of bikes and try (very lose word in this context) to get it down to two bikes. First off I will have to ride Miss USA and just check her out but assuming all is well what do I do with Miss Australia ? I could sell her as is (adventurised) or return her to standard and sell her for less but keep all the parts (shock, forks, big tank, sumpguard etc etc) as spares. At the moment this is going around and around in my head, so what do you peeps think ? Btw, this is what Miss Australia looks like in her original clothes, the o/e parts are all in my loft............

That’s a massive step up for @Tym, having the honour of being associated with me. Normally he is only associated with crystal meth and horse tranquillisers.

If it wasn't these two then it would be only Tym and Buck. Now we've got a 4 way going on!

Yeh fuck off @boboneleg you twat

I find it entertaining.

MV Turismo Veloce...❤❤❤ You look cool on the little Aprillia!!

Nice one Pedro, glad you got a test on it. Got to say that yellow colour is shite though.

yep sky were doing that years ago so i binned it

Did you see this after shields last fight https://www.skysports.com/boxing/news/12183/12575477/savannah-marshall-vs-claressa-

Marshall could never go down to lightweight......she's about 6ft tall. Fucking huge!

Shields has said she would consider cutting her weight to fight Taylor if the money is right , so never say never , but then she has the excuse if she loses