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It'd be more fun if something awful could go wrong with it. If it's not going to shit itself and chuck oil all over the Spanish scenery the least you could do for us is to drive over a few nails for our delight and delectation. 'Me me me me', that's you that is!

Can you make them smaller?

Everything everyone has said about avoiding riding this weekend was true. Forgot it was the first friday of the school holidays. Motorway packed, filtering bloody hard work and it pissed down. Nevermind made it to the Pennies and have decided as the weather is shite I’m going to postpone riding the Lake District til tomoz and mainly eat steak n lounge around. This beast (Ultrglide) weighs over 400kg! The bloke who rides it (with his wife on the back) is 73 and looks like a strong breeze would knock him over. Goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover. I might remind him of that later cos (and you lot will love this) he spoke solely to Mr Slowly who knows almost nothing about the bikes and his wife insisted I looked at her kitchen pans Old people ay wot u gonna do?

Pics are better now.....pity about the sad POS tractor in them though!

You're not going to want to hear this.....but this bike is fucking brilliant. So good in fact I even did a review here! But for now you can relive the trauma of me sweating my fucking nuts off at San Clemente! While you lot just sit on the board all day trolling, Rugged Individualists like me get shit done! Scorched Earth everywhere you look now...... Made my way up to the lake...... Contender for BOTM I'd say...... The water's getting lower all the time now! When I first came here most of the banks were underwater..... That pier is where the bike was to get my BOTM pic.....not that any of you hateful wankers will vote for it of course! Then back down from the lake on the Castril road...... And just more Scorched Earth as far as the eye can see! The harsh reality is that you fucking Blowhards wouldn't last two minutes here! Stick to having a cup of tea and a bun at your local cafe with the other wankers!

Nice pics @XTreme, now do yourself a favour and by yourself a new jacket to go with your new bike ya feckin tightarse

a flock of crows is called a murder, that's proper cool

Howzat?

My saturday: Went for a walk with Costa in the morning, we managed to both pee on the same weed at the same time, major bonding moment, I tried to catch it on camera but couldn't. We brought a stick home, which made him particularly happy. As you can see the rear seat of the car is basically his Had a rest, a scrambled a nice summer lunch for me and mum In the lazy afternoon, finally got up, got the car and went to the beach, where I had a nice long walk doing 8 or 9km, split by a few swims and a few sunbathing moments. Filmed this at a 19:50 with the beach basically to myself, the car is at the town ahead. Got home, had a nice shower, and fixed up dinner to myself, a nice tagliatelle and zucchini / parmesan / chili / black pepper thing Saw a friend being interviewed on TV: and also saw about this wildfire that is completely out of control and eating up a big area up north Which less than 10km away from here: Haven't picked the bike in weeks now, will maybe wash it tomorrow.

On tyre noise, if it isn't making a noise it's a fucking gay tyre

Not yet Pete, it’s likely to be towards the end of next week though. Fingers crossed. Having problems getting the DR to kick over which according to those in the know could be a result of the valve clearances being incorrect? Need to get it back to my mate’s gaff and he’ll take a look……..I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve never been adjusted since it left the factory in 1987!

Very underestimated bikes @XTreme, a mate of mine dies a fair bit of off road riding including competing in the last Hellas Rally with Torque Racing and he likes them, especially when you add some of the Rally Raid UK kit. I could be tempted when I get to your age.

A Desert is not something I’m happy riding on for 8000km, though, Ian. They’re the definition of a desert racer with noise to go with that. No good having the best traction for those hipothetical 20km of sand if I fall over 5 times getting there.

It's funnier that they've managed to kick out a couple of real word candidates before ending up with this pair of twats. All puppets anyway.

I never really looked into those, I rode an Aprilia Tuareg with them on, they didn't feel very offroady in offroad, felt soft too with very shallow thread depth and I didn't feel like they'd be much use on a heavy bike after a couple thousand kms in hot tarmac. My TKC70 would be my preferred choice but they would be no use in sandy places for traction and they're fragile when half worn, I can see little gauges after riding some rocky paths, I'm thinking these will be similar. I don't need them to last more than 6 or 7000km, but don't want the last couple of kms to be something that's on it's last legs.

I have.....got it here now! But this one is so old and thin and full of holes it's the coolest option.

Extremism In defense of my mothers fence is no vice, while Moderation in its ajudication is no virtue.

I missed out on your CV for underwater erudition and edification Buck....you do know about blue waters and green waters, long island sound is an estuary, then there are brown waters of rivers and streams... if you wanted camo for speafishing here we are considered "green" waters and for good reason, have a nice day cant wait to share more diving ex0perince with you.

I decided to bring down a flock of crows, right now the boats linned up for service are where they take the food i give them. Nice gigs glad they aint my boats..if you park near my fence your vehicle is covered in crow poop.

No idea!

So envious you said it twice, must be because he has twice as many toes as you.

Nice video of your walk on the beach @Pedro I have toe envy now .....

Holy fuck, Tim, you look like you just washed ashore after 7 years holding on to a piece of driftwood after your ship went down

Nothing wrong with water, as long as the sun is on top of it.

no, i wasnt aware it was my turn.

Got out for an hour at 9.30.....it was already 33c! This bike is fucking brilliant......runs like a watch. More air in the front tyre has improved the turn-in a lot, plus I'm getting more used to it now so it's just a matter of modifying my riding style to suit this one after 20 months on the 650GS. I didn't have time to get used to the 1200GS because the POS was always fucked, so my comparison will always be with the 650GS. Talking of fucked bikes, I can report that there were no oil leaks, brake failures, strange whirring sounds and flashing warning lights from the dashboard, or engine spluttering. Yes.....it's what people term a boring Honda! I've had 14 of them and they were all boring......in the sense that they always worked flawlessly and never gave any issue whatsoever. At my age I'll settle for boring!

Just a short 40 miles ride as I needed to be back home by 11.00 am. So the first thing I needed to get used to was riding a bike with a 19'' front wheel again, once I got used to that it was plain sailing. It has decent power for an air-cooled 803cc twin, brakes are adequate, suspension is firm without being harsh and the handling is sublime. I'd heard about problems finding neutral but I didn't have any great problem, the bars are a bit of a reach so I've pulled them back slightly and I may add a one inch riser. It must have been re-mapped by the previous owner to match the Leo Vince silencer (cat is gone) but fuckmine is it loud Anyway, I did a variety of roads and a very short bit of motorway and I like it. It has attitude (definitely isn't boring) and It's drop dead gorgeous imo. and a coffee at the Portishead marina on the way home ..........

The joke is on whoever wrote it, never realizing that their interests (always money) is better served by same interest and not race, conservative blacks and whites are going to be better to conservatives regardless, it's sad they don't see that.

From what I've read they ride pretty much similar to the tire I have been using for two or three changes now on my bike, which is the normal TKC70. All that's different is that mine has got a continuous center band in the read tire instead of the little gaps you have in yours, and that translates to a little less traction offroad and a little more tire life overall. They're great tires, my absolute favourite road tire ever and I love them, but a little too soft for killer rocks and I'm either going to go with those or something harder and rock proof.

Oh Mickey!

30km round trip?

for sure , and why the fuck are the pair of em campaigning on radio and tv... public cant vote for em,

I cant remember if I've ever used them i'm sure i have so cant comment on them myself, i was just saying there three different models of this tyre E07, E07+ and E07+ Dakar. Just to make your choice easier

Yup and a flock of Jackdaws is called a clattering. I have a shit load of jackdaws on my bird table every morning at 5am noisy feckers. I caged off the bird table to give the smaller birds a chance, one side is a lift up flap to put the feed in, it wasn't long before the jackdaws sussed it out and were in there again

Yes, thank you for your enquiry Ian

@Six30 always enjoys pictures of Harley Davidsons.

That water is murky as fuck, are you diving in the runoff from the poo processing plant?

I hate to tell you this @Tym but your good ole USA Levi’s are ducked. I have a nice pair of Levi’s from Turkey if you’re interested

How many DBM's you send to @XTreme's house I reckon ...............

Ersilia was surprised when she saw it, she said 'oh you've bought a normal size bike '

Out for the morning walk with Costa

They have been busy

And here to reduce the cat population

That Pan American thing is still the ugliest bike ever........................

SX-780 1980 the owner brought it for 395.00 and it worked fine until this year. He sells it to me for 90.00 and I repair it and recapped the power supply and filter caps and turned it up and sell it for 800.00. 45 watts as Pioneer list it but this unit hits 56 watts before clipping. I send it out knowing that it will last another 40 years. No they just don't make them like this anymore...

Leftover after eagle's lunch, probably seagull

Dady seagull doing a flyby as i got close to his rock.