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Listen to @XTreme Michelle, he’s a seaoned traveller. Those trips to Baza in the Picarsehole are a nightmare, don’t know how he does it

I survived a really difficult day today and overcame some challenges, so on a positive note, I am alive tonight.

Just got back from Juan Cortes.....Pirelli Scorpion Trail II and handguards sorted! Now is the time for you to say Gay!

I've got to go to the supermarket, I don't understand why I hate going to the supermarket as much as I do but it seems the gannets being back in the house hoovering up food like they've never been fed means I have to

She was chuffed with it for sure. It was just nice to spend some time with her, such a good kid. The best behaved of my tribe for sure. I am normally dealing with the dramas of the other two and sometimes the good one is left to her own devices which is not fair. I always spoil her if I get the chance Happy with her Oss

In bed for 3 days you say was your freezer full of ice cream

You need a proper medical professional to answer that, not a nurse. If you have a question on emptying bedpans then @Slowlycatchymonkey will be the one to ask, otherwise not so much.

Now you know how your missus feels when you drop your pants in front of her

Hmmm, on a Citroën? Just one more thing to break!

This is one of our dogs, it’s Lou the Labrador. She has two operating modes, the first is Play Mode and the second is Sleep Mode. Shes very professional at both.

Blimey @Grasshopper that's not the fun stuff! Being in a moving vehicle when visibility is reduced to zero is scary. Last time that happened to me was two or three years ago on the motorway, some had set fire to something LARGE next to the motorway and thick smoke suddenly dramatically reduced visability to zero for some distance. Apart from wondering whether I was heading into a fire with my sons in the car there's the added fear that braking hard is going to cause another vehicle to career into you, you can no longer distinguish the lanes but can't stop because you'd choke and a U turn on the motorway, well err nope. Did make me think the Highway Code should offer guidance one way carriageway driving in unexpected zero visibility so at least you'd know everyone has slowed to an advised 2mph for example. It also made me think about the lack of any fire training, like most people are unaware if their vehicle catches fire in a tunnel they are supposed to try and drive it out - yeah right! I've been up a mountain skiing more than once when there was a total white out and it was ok because each time I was following someone who lived there and knew the pistes back to front but if I'd been on my tod like you were on those slippery roads brrrrrrr. Good on ya, hope you get that feeling alive thing out of it! Some restorative baking maybe on the cards

Remember guys and gals... Vegas in March.. If you want to see some x rated stuff... I'm the guy...

...yep, right after you realize you aren't dead..... Works every time!

Ooops to anyone who read my last post before I deleted it I thought I was looking at TOTY not MOTY

So let me get this right..... @zzzak is ahead in MOTY?

Heineken don't build sandcastles, but if they did.....

Oh she turned you down

No longer oppressed cos I left.. I ran.. I RAAAANNN far far away to a place where people didn't take the piss.. oh wait no I'm here.

its no time for jokes.. i stubbed my toe this morning and went arse over tit down the stairs..i i've been wedged between the front door and shoe rack for 15 hours in just my underpants waiting for an Ambulance

How does a ride report to a Kawasaki Centre degenerate into a discussion about my dick?

not today though ..none of the fuckers are at work

Try and keep up , it was 8 (?) tubs of his favourite ice cream. Scant reward for three days of shagging in my opinion

Size doesn't matter, it's what you do with it that counts

Still a cunt then.

Gonna stay with one bike, I am not against a Strom, but in a total move away from what I was looking at before, I was having a serious look at a Honda NC750X or even a CB500X . Don't know yet, I am not going to do anything until the new year and I may even wait for the new Reg. I am sort of reconciling myself to the more modern plastic fantastic look as modern retro styled bikes just don't look right with radiators to me. Unless I go for a Royal Enfield twin which is still aircooled, not sure how happy I would be with it long term. But to flip flop yet again the Z650RS could be a contender although I am not sure I could live with the rad and weird looking exhaust. I do like a lot about the NC750X, looks like it would be very easy to live with but I am not sure I am ready to let go of the Himalayan yet. I have had a look at a Versys but I find it ugly, I also find the CF Moto 650 MT/GT interesting, a lot of bike for the money, but resale values don't seem to hold up to well. Also to consider is a used BMW F700/800GS or F. Plus I need to see how my short arse fits on any of them. Tis just a headfire, going to give it a while, I am under no pressure to do anything.

I believe Ford hold the patent for it.

We went to the Carrefour in Narbonne yesterday evening to get some food for Christmas. It was fairly busy when we got there, but was a good bit quieter by the time we got to the checkouts. Just need some veg now and I think we're all sorted.

Yep, the heated front screen on our company Transit is ace. I was dissapointed that Citroen didn't offer that as an option on my wife's new car .

It's pretty rife at the moment @Clive. I hope that you and your missus are both OK?

I wish that there was a WOW emoji, because it's definitely needed here! Keep your adventures coming @Grasshopper, they are fantastic!

Similar, closing your eye's is optional though

fecking orrible

She’s gone past it now … for fuck sake

...so besides the scary road conditions and almost going sideways a few times today, there was this..... WTF....is there something wrong with the van? .....thank goodness no, just this big truck on fire ready to blow up as I drive by.....

Possible but they all get them out of the sheds and garages and ride them. I think they're bloody gorgeous, the bikes. Two of them have changed the exhausts.

Who put all this stuff on my parts desk

Does it have a dustpan and brush where the spare wheel normally fits, so you can sweep up the bits as they fall off?

One of my first company cars, back in '89, had heated screen washer bottle and nozzles. When you put the rear screen heater on it also heated the washer bottle and nozzles, which was helpful when it was below freezing outside. I've never seen that on any car since. Heated windscreen is a bit of a Ford thing I think.

But it will get wet

I'm off to Baza shortly on the bike to get the tyre and handguards fitted. Very foggy out......but I got no problem with that cos fog don't get my bike covered in shit!

When my brother passed away in 2013 I flew into Calgary rented a car and drove to Manitoba to identify and to bring him home... It was summer... All I can remember from the trip is that it's extremely flat.. No trees.. Nothing... Nothing upon thousand of km of farmers fields... I won't never want to live there....

We paid extra to have sun on our trip! I would like to apologize for that whole 104F/40C thing we brought with us, tho.

For fucks sake, don’t confuse the ginger twat.