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I was Jesus for a while I had to take cover in the barn as it was chucking it down . Had my sandwiches while I was in there

Where are you having your lunch today

A little.........but some good news...had my 1st dump since last Sunday......headache has gone.

This morning the weather didn't look to bad compared with the doom and gloom forecasted last night so I decided that ride was on the cards. Didn't get away until 10.45 but skirted around the edge of Bath and down through Dilton Marsh to get to Westbury. From there I travelled along to Edington where turned up here to get onto the Plain ............. As soon as I got to the top there was a sign of things to come I carried on over to Lavington and then took a byway that is normally closed to the public but today was ok as the Army are now on holiday (shhhhhhhhhhh don't tell Putin ). After a while I came to one of the observation towers in the bombardment area ................ and then headed north across more of the bombardment area, the weather was still holding up at this point .......... Got to love a 'Tank Crossing ' sign

Doubling up on food cause Mrs Creosote is coming to dinner now ?

If you hadn't noticed LOL Last day of work for me today until the 9th. l will most probably be spending the next two weeks hanging around this shit hole taking trolling Pete to a whole new level. Tonight we are out on the piss with the kids, for Christmas eve the wife is dragging me out for a meal with some of the family which i'm not liking, then Christmas day and boxing day will be spent doing nothing but eating and drinking might be a visit to the loo in there somewhere as well So what are all your plans Pete you need not reply we all know what your doing LOL

Next I headed towards a track I had seen on the map , when I arrived there was a gate but it was easy enough to ride around. I climbed up the hill and it started to get a bit slippery on the wet exposed chalk, then through another gate and across a field I came to another gate and on inspection there was no way I was getting around this as it had a chain around it and they had welded the chain together . To make matters worse it was now chucking down with rain , I had no option but to backtrack down the hill and find another way up onto the Plain I found another track a couple of miles down the road and set off up the hill, it was really slippery and not helped by the fact that the rain was coming at straight at me. After a while I saw a barn on the side of the track and turned up there to take shelter But as I walked down to the entrance I did a quick turnaround, the inside was about 6 inches deep in cow piss ............ But about a mile up the track I came to a empty hay barn and rode straight in . There is a god after all , thank you @Buckster ................... So while I waited for the rain storm to pass I got my sandwiches and coffee out and sat on some hay bales to have lunch ............. I decided to cut short my intended route now as I was already soaked and you see bad weather all around so I just decided to try and dodge the showers. I rode down towards Westdown camp on the tank tracks , some of the surfaces were good for 50 mph and some was as slippery as an Otters pocket ............ Now I decided to head towards home as there seemed to be a break in the showers, Oooooooh pretty There was only one more dodgy part as I came to this .................... There was no telling how deep that was so I skirted around the edge and took another route ......... I got home about 16.30 and hung up all the wet gear in the garage, it can stay there until Xmas is over ..................

Thanks for the invite for Christmas dinner Pete, we’ll be over about midday once I’ve done a bit of house breaking……..the neighbours have just bought a new TV so it’s only fair. I robbed the off licence last night so I’ve got plenty of booze to bring………

Officially on holiday... Works starts back Jan 3...

Did you get enough food to fill a whale sized hole?

Gay

normally go out with my mates christmas eve ... got proper wankered last year and felt shite christmas day ... so staying in and going to meet up next week with em. quite night in christmas eve , couple of beers christmas day round the pub then dinner and probably naked Twister again with the family .

You had loads until Pete starting up with his vote fixing again.

Well spotted Fred......no weekend thread! Mainly cos I can't grasp what fucking day it is over this period! I've got to help the wife clean up the house tomorrow ready for Xmas Day when we get visitors. Sunday is going to end up like an episode of Jeremy Kyle I expect.

@Buckster convinced him to follow a star last night

Who to … Sideshow Bob

Reported.

@boboneleg in the joint lead... what the fuck has he done

the two members who own Harleys .... are both in the running to be crowned TOTY...... what does this tell us

I'm not sure if this is jealousy or discrimination against yokels

You're right, I've been robbed.

Oh come on , you'd have loved having a nosey in that first barn, trampling around in all that cow piss

You could have been a contender if you hadn't persisted in driving your bikes round in a van!

surely if i got no votes for TOTY ... i should be MOTY

Good stuff, Bob. are those plains the Sainsbury Plains? I know nothing of the UK but that name I read often on forums. Eating sandwiches on a barn cover sittingon hay bales sounds very Christmassy, might as well have a donkey and a cow for warmth too.

Everyone finished work and went the the pub at lunchtime. I'm done making Christmas cooking hard for myself by adding in an almighty hangover so I'm having a lovely time supposedly doing some of the enormous list of jobs but instead I've been peacefully drinking tea and watching tv, its been my favourite Christmas so far Oh and might not have mentioned to some rels we're not in Spain for Christmas this year after all so no twat relatives on Christmas Day. I consider this one of my greatest victories.

Wait until he photoshops it.

You're eating straw in a barn?

Yep the best part of me went down the pan...

You shat your brains out?

Yep.....loaded up now!

You mean MOTY Bob.

I always liked a bit of bare faced lairy but that's so dumb criminal, they didn't cover their faces at all even though face masks are normal now, they didn't take wire cutters with them which is hard to believe, has to be drugs.

I've been watching a brilliant youtube channel where this American bloke either blows up his Harleys, drops them, loses his panniers down the road, drops it half way up a ramp into a truck etc. Once he rode straight over some Trieff kerbing onto a roundabout because the sun was in his eyes and then couldn't get the bike back over the high kerb to get out. Even better than that, he has a group of friends on various garishly painted Harley tourers who all do the same. Did I mention all the bikes look like Huggy Bear used to own and personally decorate them? Do they not have a bike test where they live or did they all only decide to buy motorbikes for the first time ever in the last year?

No, they were in "the room".

Not exactly today but a couple of days ago………but at least it’s in an appropriate section of this godforsaken forum this time. Sounds proper nasty.

Eat sprouts the day before hand so you are primed and ready!

I found a small type written envelope in an old cardboard box, I thought it was a reference from my first job, but it turned out to be my school reference. Reading it now, they definitely had me sussed, if I didn't think it was interesting I didn't bother, hence the U grade in Chemistry O Level when I just filled in my name and two joke answers. The man signing it, Ken Drury, my headmaster in the final years, was at school with my Mum, she hated him, told me he was a knob. She reckoned he failed his 11 plus, but he seems to have caught up at some point by the look of his qualifications. He died a few years ago according to the local paper.

I don't know how they get away with calling it a naked, the flat bars I guess, but the Tuono V4 handles so well, they could call it the Bikey McBikeface and I'd still buy it (if I was single and had $16K). p.s. even with the stock pipe, it sounds phenomenal.

You can sense the Christmas spirit in that sentence!

But I got bad news today......Fatty has changed her mind and is now coming up for Xmas Dinner!

@Sofia, if you shake a bag of spice mix is it true that @Pedro cries?