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Childminding today....glad its not all day.....

Went ice skating with some mates yesterday at one of those temporary rinks they set up at Christmas, just getting over my own personal cold so still a bit bunged up like you all seem to be. Now I am sure that ice skates used to have a small serrated bit at the front of the blade, but the ones they have given me the last few times don't seem to have it and I struggle to get going properly until about 15 minutes in, or maybe it's just age. I managed 40 minutes upright with people falling over in front of me and occasionally behind me, which is when you speed up so they don't grab you and pull you down. My mate's daughter was having a bit of trouble so asked to hold my hand which was okay as long as I kept telling her to keep her nose over the ice or go over backwards, she'd already fallen over twice up till that point. When they called every body off we were about 3 yards from the exit gate when she went over whilst still attached to me and that pulled me over as well. Of course, break a hip at my age and it's curtains innit. Worst bit was I now had a soaking wet arse for the rest of the day, I looked like I'd pissed myself from behind!

All shit pictures … cunts

Had an Amazon delivery. Of course I didn’t order a delusional 17 year old who thinks she’s a cat but that is what I got.

If there's Harley guys there I'd suggest Anal Lube!

My new 76 750F1 had beeping indicators.....blind people kept stepping out in front of me thinking it was the signal to step on a crossing. And when it got wet (I had to use it every day) it used to quack.

Back to it, no cough or cold here even though I’m on plague island

Does he know the voting is over?

I find the best way to sort out a womans property is not to let them buy any in the begining

Mine would be... Men who makes women squirt..

or a native indian of russian decent ... Cheif Slobadownmycock u bitch

Or Chief Beat-a-bitch from the Slapaho tribe.

that'll do .... you can be.... Chief Slap a ho

"Hey you kids - get off my lawn!" Not much of a "lawn" really as grass doesn't grow up here. Couple of the neighborhood kids in our back yard ...

A Native American child was curious as to how he had received his name. So he went to speak to his father, the chieftain of the tribe. "Father," he asked, "how is it that I acquired my name?" The noble chieftain began a long narrative for his youngest son. "Well, my son, I named you and both of your brothers for an event which occurred on the day each of you were born. For example, the day your eldest brother was born, I saw a deer running swiftly through the forest, so I named him Deer Running Swiftly. "Likewise, when your middle brother was born, the rain was pouring hard outside of the wigwam, so I named him Rain Pouring Hard. "Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"

Amazon accept returns?

Strawberry ice cream and a straight jacket.

Fired the beast up this morning having had my original Tracer plans scuppered by a rear flat tyre with a nail in it. All kitted up and nowhere to go. Going to get new tyres on tomorrow so it was out with the beast. It absolutely hates any part throttle and is lumpy and unpleasant to ride but keep the throttle action positive and it transforms the bike. Took it for a spin around some local roads and also along some gravel strewn tracks………oh my days, it’s addictive and I know it’s going to be a love-hate relationship. My neighbours all ran for cover when it fired up…….. but our Labrador couldn’t give flying fuck.

Yeah, that Roadrunner dude is a c*nt

Washer fitted .......beeps when powered up....beeps when a washing programme is selected.....beeps everytime a button is pushed...... On a label it says "read instructions before operating".......and where are the instructions?....inside the drum......only question is.....How the fuck do you open the door?.....took 10 minutes for us to get it to open.

If you were a Red Indian (are you allowed to say that, or should it be native American ?), anyway if you were what would your name be ? Mine would be ' hops on one leg'

I've notice a big bunch of you twats are lady less...and some have marriatal problems with your current wife.. (Rich)... I'll see what I can do to improve the situation.. First you'll have to go through a screaning process... Buck has agreed to weed out the limp noodles... So pm Buckster and if I see there's some hope...I'll give you my secrets...

Good luck!

I'll do a test tomorrow!

Sounds like a possibility. The only comfort I can offer is... err.. well a surprising number of people who don't tend to suffer with nasty coughs do a fantastic job of screwing their back up while hacking and umm well if it's just your stomach muscles that hurt then doing the horses has probably protected you from slip disc horror. Cold comfort but that's the best I've got

do you reckon he even has a Busa ...... could of nicked the photos ..i mean photo of it from anywhere

never used the Kwaka before he got the Busa....

I so hope so

You never use it......I reckon you only bought it so you can tell people you've got a Busa! Sounds like your bottle's gone to me......what you say @Six30?

I should start giving you twats pointers on how to please a women property.... I bet you lot just jump on the horse and within 5 min you're done (buck)... It takes time to warm up the engine.. For me it's at least and hour of four play... Always please the lady first before yourself...

A gimp mask and some tampons you're gonna need them, maybe a rubber ring to sit on afterwards

Is there more than one of you Marcel ?

Walks with a Third Leg…………

still on the sauce then bob

Wife's bike looking stylish without me in the pic, fucking it all up ...

Or just fan your ass with a machete if you don't feel like partaking.

My would be 'Stop fucking singing".

Nice enough day here today but getting ready for 10"+ of snow tonight. And our street just finally got cleared, too....

It is age......you even look older than me now!

Where is @gymwitch?

You know your welcome to use my gif any time LOL

Not trying to side with fatty but some kids do go off the rails after eating certain food and they can be a handful afterwards, my niece couldn't handle whatever E number was in the blue colouring of smarties, she could eat the rest of the pack after picking the blue ones out with no problems

Or mange?

Looks like what I was driving through today.....

Had the boys this afternoon.......and now Fatty's lost her shit! Apparently they went home all hyped up and are running amok there now. All because they had some chocolate chip cookies and a few sweets.

Same here but not from fatty LOL. The last week of work i was surrounded by sick people and then my daughter and boy had it, for the last two days I've been ill but when i woke this morning it was at its worst i felt the grim reaper truly had a grip on me the wife gave me some super pills she had tucked away and 2 hours later i'm feeling ok, either that or i'm high LOL

He was a member many years ago......in fact he was MOTY and TOTY in the same year.....and then got a Mod gig! Not long after that he met some bird on ButtRider, went to see her in California and found a huge stock of strawberry Ice Cream in her fridge! And that was then the catalyst for him to go completely insane and disappear for 15 years! And last May he finally showed up again, then started worshipping Buckster and bought a fucking Harley. Now you see why he won TOTY quite easily......cos he's completely mental.

For the sake of fuck!!!!........the washer drain pipe ain't fucking long enough. A visit to Screwfix next week.