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What a Cunt!

Went out for a bimble today and was going to go up on Bodmin moor but the weather was pretty awful and so misty you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face. So I decided to abort and go into Trago and have a look at their biking section. They only had one on display which was a 445cc SWM branded dirt style bike. I liked the look of it to be honest. Weird branding though as it was labeled a 500cc but called a 6, bit of mixed message there. I did think it looked cool. Water cooled 154kg and claimed 29.5 bhp for £4.5k. Doesn’t seem to bad but it’s all about quality I suppose. If a jap manufacturer produced something like that it would sell by the boat load. There was plenty of biking gear and accessories at Trago, if I had a top box I would probably have spent a few quid. Travelling back along the Glynn valley in atrocious conditions it did make me wonder what I was doing there as that stretch of road is a notorious black spot for accidents.

The joy of wet gloves at Trago Mills, Liskeard.

Do you test it yourself or send it off to the lab? You need to drink more water by the look of it.

Finally Spain and England agree on the driving licence exchange so I can legally go out on the bike again. My first problem was the battery was flat the bike had only been for a service along with it's firs itv (mot) test since las May. The problem being I have no electricity in my garage only a generator which packed up so I had to remove the battery which meant removing the crash bars etc. as I was doing all this I smiled to myself as a couple of weeks beforehand I found out that the wonderful Spanish government hadn´t actually made a law regarding ex pats and driving. Oh well. So yesterday I got the b ike out and went for a wee ride, not too far but far enough around 90km. When I got home every bone in y body hurt but I had a snake a mile wide so good to be back out.

So what am i missing here you can take and post 10 photo's of various pies but not one photo of your motorbike i'm beginning to believe you don't own a bike

You picked such a great area of Spain to live. Monosyllabic grunting buffoons, DMB's , shopping in Albollox, too hot to ride ................ What you say @Skippy , @Slowlycatchymonkey

Problem with riding your bike, it gets dirty

I reckon 5 years , I've only had to use it once but that was in the middle of a French forest and it certainly saved the day .............

I had the same for fitting the rack to my top box. I read that the marked holes aren't quite right, so I drew round the rack with a pencil and drilled. The marked holes were a little bit out as it happened.

As a follow on to the backrest dilemma.....I did what I always do! I searched for a YouTube Tutorial! And it appears there's two marks inside the lid for the exact spots that you need to drill. So we can sort that out here no sweat! However, the wife won't let me use her drill so I've got to wait till tomorrow for her back to ease off and she's going to do it. It won't be the first time she's had to do shit on my bikes as you know!

Still a boy.

The wife wanted me to order a backrest for the box so I got a Shad one from Amazon delivered today. But WTF is going on with these things? You used to stick it to the box with adhesive pads.......now you've got to drill holes in the fucking box. But where exactly? I daren't try that or it'll be carnage......so it's a job for Jonathan in Juan Cortes when I take it in for an oil and filter change in a month or so.

dont do it @Slowlycatchymonkey....

I voted for @Six30 , for no other reason than to shut the moaning f*cker up

No fraid not mate, he bought me lunch though

Was good to meet with @Six30 today for a cuppa and a chat. Hopefully I'll be back down in the compost bin of England again soon and get another meet up arranged

He wouldn't know

He forgot to mention the wind farm casualties The M4 between Swansea and Port Talbot is a joke, there's roughly a 6 mile stretch that's limited to 50mph to reduce air pollution, a fucking great big sign on there saying "Pollution Kills Slow Down" and right behind the sign you can see this, fucking Tata Steel, they have average speed cams there too

Not at all.....we researched well and visited many areas. Our criteria was low house prices, rural environment, good biking roads, decent Net connecttion, and very few Brits. It ticked all the boxes. And all these years later we don't regret it. The people here have been great to us. It's just that some things are a bit odd at times.

When we moved out to one of the villages a few years ago my Spanish improved no end and I also took proper Spanish lessons with someone locally. Not the usual ‘two beers please’ but in depth language structure and more tenses than you could shake a stick at………..and having lived back here in the Brit enclave for the last year I’ve had a relapse and can’t remember loads of it ……….…..….. so today I rejoined the class (4 or us) and attempted their homework from last week. Wow, I’ve got some catching up to do! Next class is Tuesday at 1830 so wish me luck.

Fucking moaning Taff…….he’ll be complaining the goats ain’t as pretty as the sheep back home next.

JB Weld won't be enough on it's own then?

I'm 71 this year, you would probably be better off getting a Kawasaki.

I am going up on Bodmin Moor this morning, getting stir crazy. Did pretty much the same yesterday as I had to activate a card and went to the branch to do it just to get out of the house.

Going for a walk (first one since this manky illness Pete sent). Then Torrox to the Brit supermarket because I’m hankering after some real Brit shit. Back to Motril to pick up normal food supplies and a laminator that will hopefully have made it into an Amazon locker by then. Then I have a lovely recipe for Coquilles St Jacques au Provençal (scallops in a shallot, cream n white wine sauce) inspired by Hopkinsons ‘The Prawn Cocktail Years’ for a full blown retro dish. Might not go as far as piping mash potato round the edge of the shell but then again it just makes it a kind of mini fish pie then

I think im just being teased .... i've never won any thing before , so its just nice to be in the lead for a bit, thankyou , its very emotional for me .

Is that what they call it now?

you seen this shit @XTreme blatant act of trying to influence voters

You say that but Gwyneth Paltrows defence dug up some ancient footage proving otherwise

if the lazy twats cant be arsed to learn to speak English thats their problem , just ignore em.

Very true. Headed there next month on the bike for the first ride of the year.

So on your time away from England you shop at a brit shop, and end up buying british sausages made with spanish pork, in Spain?

There’s more than a touch of ‘threw a dart at a map’ about it isn’t there But then again it’s Madrid. In Madrid you have to go fast to stand a chance. That’s where my landlord lives, he said Madrid is hard work and reminds him of when he lived in London. Comparing it to where Pete lives is like comparing London to Guernsey

Here's some just for you Pete.................

Cheers for the heads up @Sir Fallsalot

Looks like motorcycle pound land.

If he signed up here would he have multiple accounts and then never post on them?

Speaking to a couple of Removal Companies in Madrid trying to get a price for their move in a months time. They seem very efficient and well spoken up there compared to the monosyllabic, grunting buffoons where I live.

Great advice......I'll get the wife to do that!

I will get abusive shortly.

I’m going to sort out the trailer electrics on the bike today and swap the old Screaming Eagle air filter with a nice new K&N one.

For the record I usually drink alcohol less than once a month and that’s usually due to not wanting to spoil the party. Some folk can get a little nasty when they imbibe.. Fingers crossed your conflict driven ass finds a fight soon. With someone else that is.

But will anyone notice any difference?

That's why they stopped filming Bergerac, eventually everyone on Jersey was dead.

Do you go far enough to need a cab?