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I had a job labouring for a roofer for a few weeks when I was about 18. Standing on a roof stripped of tiles there was strong gust of wind and I lost my balance and started to fall backwards, a few floors below me was a large green house. He only used ladders, never scaffolding. I had a claw hammer in one hand and I managed to hook the claw over a batten and stop myself. "I nearly fell off then!" I shouted in shaky legged terror. He replied that if I did fall off I could bring up the next batch of tiles.

Last week- Riding on the autovia about 70mph, it was really busy which is unusual. Bump Hit from behind, a tap but enough to send things totally out of control. Careered towards the hard shoulder before coming off. Bike handle bar wedged inbetween barrier but somehow I’ve fallen into the gap the my jumbo panniers created and apart from a shot of adrenaline of epic proportions I am somehow ok. I look down the motorway and see some distance back my tank bag in the middle lane and the contents strewn at large distances across all three lanes. I briefly consider if theres anything that would identify this as mine, there isn’t, then I remember my house keys are in there, meh, so is my pannier key - oh my passport is in my pannier, oh well still not worth risking it - my hearing aids are also in there fuck fuck FUCK NOOOOO. You know vids on youtube of people doing things so incredibly stupid you watch in utter disbelief and think well they don’t exactly deserve to die but perhaps it’s just natural selection doing it’s thing? Yep I ran all over the carriageway of a busy motorway trying to retrieve my hearing aids. Which were in a paper bag cos papers breathable but also very easily blown about by traffic. I haven’t processed the next bit but the flashbacks aren’t fun so moving on. I get back to the bike fully expecting the popo to turn up any second because there’s no way someone’s not going to report a stupid person dancing in motorway traffic and a bike over in the barriers. Ok thats all I can manage now, typing this is making me sweat. Last instalment tomoz, or the next day or whenever I can type without my heart pounding nineteen to the dozen Pretty dumb though ay, beat that!

Oh, I need that for the morning after a night at the Mexican restaurant...

Englishman: "That your Dog"..?? Welshman: "Aye". Englishman: "Mind if I Speak to him"..?? Welshman: "Dog don't Talk.” Englishman: Hey Dog, how's it going"..?? Dog: "Doing All Right, Thanks". Welshman: (Look of Shock). Englishman: Is this your Owner"..?? (Pointing at the Welshman). Dog: "Yep." Englishman: How's He Treating You"..?? Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the park once a week to play." Welshman: (Look of Total Disbelief). Englishman: "Mind if I Talk to your Horse"..?? Welshman: "Horse Don't Talk”. Englishman: "Hey Horse how's it Going"..?? Horse: "Cool, Thanks". Welshman: (Extreme Look of Shock). Englishman: "Is this your Owner"..?? (Pointing to the Welshman). Horse: "Yep." Englishman: "How's He Treating You"..?? Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he Rides me, Brushes me down often and keeps me in a nice Stable to protect me from the Weather." Welshman: (Now a Look of Total Amazement). Englishman: "Mind if I Talk to your Sheep"..?? * Welshman: "That Sheep's a bloody Liar”..

My weekend will mainly consist of route planning (still not done ) and booking accommodation. Getting a haircut. Waving my youngest off back to Uni. Taking the Bandit out for a spin (no there won’t be any photo’s) and sorting out a new tail bag, tank bag and tool kit for the trip.

Not my intention, though, I did get how stressed of panicked you were from your account of it and do understand you were very scared. Sorry if it translated into unkind. I'm happy you didn't get run over. My written english seems to convey coldness and my humor is frequently missed.

Wow that was a close shave, glad you came through ok. Good idea for a thread though. I have had a couple of close calls but the one that sticks out to me for sheer stupidity happened when I was a teenager, funnily enough. I never learned to swim, even though I lived by the coast my whole life it didn't interest me. Anyway one night I and a load of mates went across the river to a disco at the Waterfront Yacht club in Polruan. 20 or so of us travelled across the river in a mates 14 foot punt. Way to many and we only had about 6 inches of freeboard, but we were young and daft and no fucks were given. All good, we made it to Polruan had a cracking night all pissed as mattresses. Much giggling and carry on coming back across the river and a daft twat in the bow decided it would be a good idea to dip his head in the water to clear it, he managed much more than that with such little freeboard the bow dipped under than the boat went straight down. Now we are all bobbing in the river, luckily for us it was summer, flat calm and warm. Unluckily for me I was in the middle of the river and couldn't swim, after some drunken panic the Eliot twins dragged me across the river to safety. They were two stunning 5'11" girls who both swam competitively. Thank goodness they were there as I wasn't the only idiot that needed help. We all got out fine and still laugh about it now but things could have gone the other way quite easily, the Lifeboat Cox corned us all at different times and gave us a well earned severe bollocking. We should have known better. But it was a valuable life lesson and I took swimming lessons as soon as I could after that.

Same bloke could drive a nail into a rafter with one blow of his hammer, I was mocked for taking longer (tippy tap tippy tap is more my style). On the other hand I would have to go and get the box of plasters from his car every few days when he hit his own finger.

Always cracks me up.

The best days though!

With the stupid stuff I've done on the bike i could fill this page for days, not bike related there's one thing i done when i was probably around 9 or 10 year old that i still think about today. At that age i loved climbing things anything that was a challenge and i'd have a go, there was an old deserted quarry near my home which i would climb regular, it was probably about 100ft high, one day i was climbing a part i hadn't climbed before i was getting close to the top when i grabbed hold of the rockface to pull myself up and what i grabbed hold of came away in my hand and i was frozen there teetering on the balance point of falling backwards or towards the rockface for what seemed like forever, at the time it got the adrenalin flowing and not much else and i was climbing up the same line straight after, It was only when i got older i realised how close i came, i was on my own where i'd seen nobody else go there in all the times i'd been there and nobody knew i was there, if i had gone the wrong way the search would have been for a body not a missing child

They didn’t muck about at my audiology appt and immediately programmed a new hearing aid which was lovely of them. Then on my way out of the dept I bumped the person who first sorted my hearing aids out 13 years ago who gave me a lovely hug and we chatted for yonks about all sorts which was a nice bonus. This means the bluetooth connectivity now works and the trip to the Alps in just over a weeks time won’t be wrecked. Then my new duds turned up and they are all good, so I won’t have to carry normal clothes and hiking gear. They cover all occasions and will easily fit on the panniers. Good day so far

I almost got shot in the head once, but that wasn't really my fault. Would have been a dumb way to die though. In high school, I worked at a petrol station - full service in those days so I had to pump the gas into each car. Anyway, guy pulls up and I fill up his car. He then grabs me and holds a pistol to my head as he snags all of the cash I had on me to make change. Probably only $40 or so. Tells me to run for the station door and not to look back or he'll shoot. Sped off before I could even turn around. Fuckin' wanker.

Well it won’t surprise you to hear I had a crash course in what to and not to do from my Pops before my motorbike even arrived including that stuff but what may surprise you is they teach it on motorcycle courses when you do your licence now. No popping round the block on any old bike and man jumping out of an obvious hiding spot anymore!

I'd better lube up ! The map shows 12" but I didn't wanna brag...

Nah she is young and giddy/feisty. For some odd reason she is called Blackberry (Berry) and belongs to my mate. His girls won’t ride her as they haven’t the confidence. My Chloe is fearless and has taken to her, they rub along pretty well together most of the time. To the point that Chloe begged her mother to loan Berry for her, which she has. Now all of that is second hand as I know next to fuck all about the hairy great things.

What's up with punching teeth out? Punching teeth really hurts!

Are out of your fucking mind . I wouldn’t get on one of those things. No clutch. Anyway it would have to be a big fucker to carry me Also the bleddy thing was playing up today and wouldn’t do as it was told. Poor Chloe was in tears during her lesson as she got so frustrated. All good in the end but you would never get me on one ever.

Rock and Roll baby

One of my favorite things to do when traveling outside the US, is to see what cars the locals get that we dont. Station wagons (Estates?) arent very popular anymore in the US. People have been brainwashed into thinking you will only be safe if you drive some big, hulking SUV. Which is true, to a point. But, mostly for when the other SUV idiot runs into you. Our Plockton accommodations: The beginnings of some fun we would have with Gary. A little bee sting was going to mess his face up for a few days <G> The next morning, we continued around Loch Carron on a fun, twisty road - A890. We stopped in LochCarron for breakfast and to track down drugs for the one-eyed beast above.

Is this to help with Harley owner's depression?

Must have been a hot day of riding ...

Now I remember too, closest I was to dying was probably on a hotel room in Palma de Maiorca jumping from on balcony to the other. It was a short distance but I sort of slipped. Wasn’t using my best judgement there, and never felt like doing that ever since. was about 14 or 15

Well in my day we didn't pay our dues by credit card.......we paid them in blood and guts! I acquired that bit of knowledge I gave you after I rear ended a VW Beetle in Swansea in 1971.......I ended up on the roof of the fucking thing actually. Best days of our lives!

Possibly the scariest thing ever in my life just happened. As I was stuffing some cardboard into the recycling bin the neighbours cat screamed and flew from the inside right through the narrow slit and flew right past my face. I almost just died from the fright, gave a proper scream too.

Hmm but would you if was all motorcycle gear? Rhetorical question

I absolutely hate these places. At least I made a little friend

Nah - happened pretty fast and never really bothered me for some reason. I thought if that guy was so broke as to rob someone for $40 - then he didn't have money for bullets. I think just about everyone I know has had a weapon pointed at them at some time or another. Not many actually get shot though.

Snowing now with 8 inches expected today. Glad I got a ride in a couple of days ago as I won't this weekend.

Pete was born ginger, does that count?

I would still go for E10 compatibility as ethanol is so corrosive to some rubbers and plastics, eventually premium fuel will be E10 as well.

An extract from the Motorcycling Tourettes Handbook, and this goes back to having very little (or no) brakes 50 odd years ago. Position yourself outside the line of the car in front so you're very slightly inside of the centre line. If he's way over to that side of the lane then switch inside to use that as an overrun. But generally try to go for the centre line. Cos if somebody puts the anchors on hard you've got an exit route to overrun if necessary.....plus you've taken yourself out of the line of fire from the car behind you. Look at any vid of mine and I'm always in the centre of the road......because it also minimises the risk of getting clipped if some twat edges out from the side. A very dangerous place for getting shunted is coming off on motorway slip roads......always stay at the centre point of those particularly if you're stationary in a traffic queue. Or you'll end up as a sandwich between two vehicles!

Pissed up and drowning unable to swim is pretty impressive. I’d give that 6 out of 10 because it wasn’t you who caused the boat to sink, he gets a solid 7!

Yep it really could have been. Lucky and unlucky at the same time. I realised later I could well of not just killed myself prancing around the motorway like a prize prat on supermarket sweep, I probably would have taken other people out with me by causing a pile up.. guilt galore!

I've working like a fucking phone and email ninja since 8:30. It'll be a lazy weekend. I'll see if there are places nearby with stock of Keihin parts, probably not. Will go for a short ride on saturday and on sunday. It'll get warm here so curious to see how my new "winter" jacket copes with that, it better do well because all the other stuff is 300km away then on monday will act as a guide on a trip north, with a female riding a Triumph following along nice twisty roads through center Portugal.

If it ends up running as good as that tastes, it's a result! Will look into buying a kit of the sealants for this before taking it apart. The point being that if I disassemble it, clean it and get it back together the next day it might stand a 50% change of working, if I disassemble it now and try in a month time to put it back together that 50% will drop significantly I wonder if it wouldn't make sense to get a Mikuni pump carb, are they easier to start? Is it a direct replacement?

Easy weekend for me working Sat 10:00 to 16:00 and Sunday 22:00 to 08:00 almost like a holiday.

Apparently somehow it has become synonymous with gimps and they don’t want that image.

well, it could end up looking like horse cock casserole.

I've had amazing results with boiling in vinegar...if you're comfortable disassembling everything...boil all metal ..Jets...for 10 min....comes out just like new..

Not good Clive, me and my mate were walking over to meet some girls when we were about 16 when we had to walk past a group of lads walking towards us after we past them they turned around and jumped us took us by surprise. One of them punched me when i turned to see who grabbed me so that was my two front teeth gone, my mate was a bit tasty and had a pair of steel toecap docs on which he put to good use and they ran off. Had to have a tooth either side of the two they hit out removed after so like you Clive 4 missing. I had the good fortune to bump into one of the lads a year or so later he wasn't so hard on his own. he wasn't the one who hit my teeth out but i made sure he knew how i felt about it fucking gutless pricks all of them.

Just finished watching Sherwood on BBC iplayer. Bloody brilliant, binge watched it in two nights. Worth a look if you like detective stuff and remember the Miners Strike.

The Swansea Bay crane rebuild is coming to an end in work tomorrow which cant come soon enough as the place stinks and the smell sticks to you no need to touch anything. I just hope they don't have me back to fix the electrical leak i found on it today

Somewhere just west of Moratalla this morning. A bit of abandonment for @XTreme, only spoiled by my bike.

Running along the A87 on the Isle of Skye: Plockton is on the backside of a peninsula, on Loch Carron and is really cool little fishing village. On the way there, we stopped off and took some photos of dinner: We normally only see these at the Golden Arches, between two pieces of bread. As you can tell, the Amuricans were confused: We checked into the house we had rented, changed and walked down to the main "block" for dinner. I guess y'all dump old Tartis's just anywhere: Hungry Amuricans wondering if they should get the Fish n chips, the fish, or the chips......

We had a BnB reserved in the small village of Plockton, so after pics at the castle (gotta love castles!!), we did a quick lap of the Isle of Skye. Guess this was the only way to dress to protect yourself from the midges! Someone missing a Tartis? Another shot of the bridge.

is that @Saul in the video having another fall ?

So, had a while to spare in the afternoon, and between calls went and took the drain plug from my XR400R's carb, to see the state of things inside. Nothing looks as dirt bike cool as a 80 or 90's Honda, I think. Looked like moss inside, the bottom was sort of crusty but the walls of it looked like the greenish yellow was a part of it. This is was was encrusted in the bottom. Looking more normal, but I ended up getting rid of the smaller bits of it still in this picture. Washed it using the petrol that I used to flush the carb and a toothbrush. The fuel coming out had a few particles but looked ok to me. Nothing that my phone might be able to pic up on pictures. I gave up kicking and kicking since it wasn't making any of the "about to start" sounds it usually makes. Then resorted to pushing it up my driveway, which is the same height as a full flight of stairs, and bump starting it down. The first time it started, in third gear with the tick over quite high and helped by the slippery ground and new front tire I almost ended up on the wall It manages to run for a while on choke, but can't get it off choke without stalling. I feel it's not running well either, sounds harsh and spluttery. A few more tries and I did get her to start on the kick a few times, but not for long. Pushed it up that drive more times than I feel comfortable counting I did think of getting it out on the street, there's a loooong way down from my door, ideal for bump starting it a few times and put some heat into the engine, but if it ends up not running I can never push it back up that far and steep. So, after a while I though that the little black adjuster that helps adjust tickover might have been too high, ended up on no adjust, so just put in 1 or 2 turns on that. Then foolishly tried to start her a few times with fuel on reserve, and fuel closed. Eventually it ran for maybe 30 seconds to a minute, on choke, but just dies like it runs out of fuel, accelerator does nothing to help it keep going. The phone started ringing and I came inside. Will try again tomorrow.

Sounds like the idle jet bunged up too. If it's the carb I'm thinking of I'm guessing you'll have to remove the float bowl to get to that. Might be time for a good ultrasonic bath.