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You should make them the mods and see what sort of person(s) it attracts ..................

Still at my place, was planning to go north a couple of days ago but somehow couldn’t drag myself away. Just came up to the hills for lunch at the usual spot, the ride here was just perfect, 30 or 40 minutes of perfect not slow not fast pace, with a dirtroad shortcut with a rocky uphill section, then the hill and onto the cafe. No pictures because I enjoyed not putting a foot down the whole way.

Getting bummed by a giant beach ball? It’s always bumming with you.

Thank fuck that’s over. A year of frustration and expense for about 100 klms of fun.

No.....it's £6077. Which is about what 20 examples of your bike would be worth.

Yes, Mauritania with any engine management fault is probably a real adventure. Good to know you made it home. Curious as to what is wrong with it.

Looking. They get the new Transalp in before the end of the month.

Waiting for lunch

Paco is plotting his revenge on the ginger gringo but Pete doesn’t realise. There is going to be a mini series on Netflix.

Wow she’s a lot taller than you then?

That's nothing .... Here it's quite windy

No.....I see him more in this role!

I had my first day on a new site yesterday, had to have a poxy induction that dragged on for ages as the site is inside a building site. The induction was followed by some facial recognition thing that means you have to bend over and stare at a screen, then slowly nod up and down whilst everyone laughs at you, then you have to start shaking your head with the same result. This means that you can get through the site turnstiles by gurning at the screen until it recognises you. Anyway, lovely warm dry day, t-shirt weather, then I had to get across the borough during evening rush hour, filtering around the cars, wankers on foot and wankers on bicycles who appear at every possible location at the wrong time. The sky was very very dark in the direction of home. Once on the motorway the rain started. The motorway was flooding with yours truly splashing through it all. Someone stuck a picture up of the motorway I was on, so you can see what I was riding through (all three lanes were in use on my bit, the bow wave from the cars was going over my head at one point.

Only if he wanted to be bummed.

How did I get lumbered with a bunch of no-hopers like you lot? We need to attract more members of a better calibre like @Marcel and @Six30

Is there going to be a season 2, @XTreme ?

Whats wrong with that, i was going to say trotters but thought that might be insulting

What size are your little hooves then they go down to a UK 6 and I've just noticed the price of them has shot up i'll be needing a new pair myself pretty soon

All that smiling will stop soon enough.

Seems not.

The alternative roads to either side of that stretch of motorway can get even floodier though. Bike gear did well, not a drop in my boots, a little bit of damp at the very bottom of my t-shirt, otherwise my slim but perfectly formed bod was bone dry. Oxford Mondial jacket and trousers, Forma boots (super light and comfy to walk in too) https://www.sportsbikeshop.co.uk/motorcycle_parts/content_prod/354697

About 15 miles of motorway in total. Then the rain stopped and the roads were all dry again.

Would be fine if they provided an override option if the vehicles not actually unsafe. Before you tapped override you would have to read a list of potential faults and the complications. They could even give advice on speed, temp, revs, distance or whatever that is ok cos it’s not always realistic to sit in the middle of nowhere.

Six would. Twice!

Me to. It's often the case that these warnings pop up for the smallest reason but it'll knock you into (safe mode) get you home anyway. Bit more involved if it's down a cylinder. Might be something as little as a misfire but you'll get safe mode to protect the cat in the exhaust.

Absolutely! We need to keep track of those Illuminati fuckers!

All this stuff is so confusing.

Portugal's very much a Honda country, today I've encountered: 2 Honda Africa Twins 1 Honda NTV650 1 Honda CBF600 1 Honda adventure scooter 1 Honda NC750 1 Yamaha Super Tenere 750 1 Harley Davidson 1 Kawasaki cruiser 1 BMW R1200GS, not mine

And @zzzak.

I'll just put this here, https://uk.yahoo.com/news/somerset-gimp-arrested-again-terrifying-173333474.html

7000 euros? That is about £15.

What are you offering , I could put a skirt on and do your ironing for the right offer

Yes, they are called Harley riders.

I just think there's too much tech on bikes now, there's a problem with the touch screen on some of the newer Africa twins. The touch screen don't work and they cant get past the first screen (See Photo) when switching on the bike. Why the fuck you want a touch screen display on a motorcycle i haven't a clue, doesn't anyone enjoy riding a motorcycle on the open road anymore without all the crap distracting you

As we are all coming from different directions we met at a Greene King pub near Portsmouth Port on Sunday evening. There was a lot excitement, roast dinners and chat. We board seamlessly at 23.00, exchange cabin numbers in case of emergency (no mobile reception) and get straight into our cabins, we dock at 6.30am french time (5.30am uk time), my alarm goes off at 4.30am and I instantly think - who’s stupid idea was this South West Caen (Ouistreham) Port obviously not in 7hrs 33 mins as it was an overnight ferry. Off the ferry and five mins to a cafe right next to the port for a quick croissant, a chat about the route, riding in France and to allow the ferry traffic to dissipate. Glad I had my ipad on hand to show the priorite a driote signage as only one person was familiar with it and they appeared often on our ‘no-motorway’ cross country route! It’s grey, rainy, not the most fun for riding and no matter how hard I try the pace is a bit too slow to be fun but it takes folk time to warm up to riding on the other side of the road when you’re not familiar with it and I’m kind of glad I’m not dealing with any kamikaze riders. Quirky little house over three floors, surrounded by grape vines, as you’d expect in the Loire Valley. We arrive in Sancerre far too late to tour the vineyard which is a bit of a shame but after so little sleep on the ferry everyone is exhausted. The day has stretched out far beyond all comprehension and with a supermarket stop to pick up some steaks we only make it to the house after 7pm. Another friend joins us at this point ready to party and finds us all in zombie mode I may have avoided taking everyone into Paris but the cross country route was not without a price to pay!

As a final summing up to the episode of Jeremy Kyle that we've been living in for the past year, I can report that a cloud over our life is now starting to lift. There's no more worrying about running into that fucking munter in the town, and them wanting something. So what did it all achieve? We got them out of close proximity to a war zone and out of that fucking Slavic shithole.......thereby giving our son and the boys a future. He's now got a good job with an international company and they're all living in a thriving Western European capital city! Bit of a change from Death Camp Central and bad air quality from pollution. She'll do everything possible to fuck it up so she can go back to her ghetto of course. But we've got no control over that, and if that's what happens then they have to accept the consequences. We won't be going through this again. We paid a high price..........physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially! To the tune of about €6-7K. But at least we'll never have to look back and wish we'd done more! And I can say the same about the kids from my first marriage as well. Our conscience is clear!

Have they released Bob yet?

Sorry I’ve missed all this stuff. So you got it all cleared up and there was stuff missing?! Does Paco know?

A Cunt like that will never make friends!

Why thankyou

Well I've got to say that @Slowlycatchymonkey has done a good job with her ride report

trip was a disaster ... they all started bitching and arguing i reckon...

Don't know whether those of you on FB have seen it, but @Specs's GS has had a trip on a Grua! Been taken to a BMW dealer but they can't look at it for a week! Presumably they've got a queue of fucked Beemers to deal with first. This time last year I was going through that ordeal!

Some fine wine, hot food, good sleep and by the next morning most were raring to ride over the border to the Swiss part of Lake Genèva for a bit of lunch and snap a pic with Mont Blanc in the background. Of course it’s end of the ski season so a lot is shut and lunch turned into a vending machine affair Whilst enjoying the lake our ‘on the spectrum’ friend (there’s always at least one in every group isn’t there ) whacked out three different water colour paintings of my mates house in under two hours! It was gorgeous out there Still a bit chilly from the mountain air we opted for quick showers, warm jackets and Kir Royals to warm the cockles. This was followed by far too much wine, we were still laughing about what we couldn’t remember the next morning

The next day as my nervous friend has now warmed up about the whole road riding abroad thing we planned a mix of motorway and a beautiful gorge to ride through. However this was not to be, an accomplished enduro rider she is but looking down fumbling for your card at the motorway toll booth meant a quick slap down and a broken clutch lever. A side of the road bodge with some epoxy resin and duct tape and eventually we were away again, but we had lost a lot of time and the dodgy clutch lever meant a change from the scenic route to the most direct that required the least number of gear changes was needed. It was an odd ride and was a mix of these two routes which look similar but there’s quite a time difference so with the unscheduled break and fuel stops we again arrive much later than anticipated after a fairly uninspiring ride. We arrive on the French Swiss border in the Alps next to Lake Geneva as late as can be (although still daylight so thats a bonus) fortunately to a great host who’s wisely greeted us with beer and a slow cooked delight able to withstand random acts of extreme lateness He also has a workshop and ta da daa a spare lever