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That is one of the reasons...I know my place...3rd in line behind the cat!... By the way, we don't have a cat.

This is her right now, absolutely fine and you’d never know there had been anything wrong. She’s just told off a couple of ladies that were out for their morning walk.

Club did a camping weekend in Death Valley, recently reopened after the hurricane damage in August. Still a lot of the roads closed, but main two had been repaired.

When I was an apprentice engineer we did one day a week at college where they measured things in anything from ‘thousandths of an inch’ to ‘so many yards’ (and of course the ridiculous metric alternatives of millimetres, centimetres and metres that had been forced on us back in the early 1970’s). However, ‘real engineers’ were taught a far older and more reliable range of measurements. Generally, at the quantum end of the scale, you started with a ‘Smidgeon’, which equated to the standard British imperial precision ‘clearance’ measurement of ‘sixteen thou’ (16/1000 of an inch) or just under half of one of those ridiculous ‘millimetres’ that were foisted upon us by Europe. In traditional British industries (if you are under 30 years old, ask your dad about the industries we had before Thatcher shut them down or sold them off for pennies), three Smidgeons were equivalent to a ‘Gnat’s-Dick’. Three Gnat’s-Dicks were equivalent to a ‘Cock-Hair’ and four Cock-Hairs equalled one ‘Tad’. With the Tad we have entered the ‘macro’ scale, where things can be reliably measured by eye. A ‘Thumb-End’ was made-up of two Tads and five Thumb-Ends were equivalent to one Handful. (Except in Norfolk or certain parts of Yorkshire where a Handful can be comprised of six or even seven Thumb-Ends). At the larger end of the scale we had a ‘Batch’, which was the equivalent of twelve Handfuls’ followed by a ‘Ruck’ which was comprised of twelve Batches. The only measurement greater than a Ruck was a ‘Shitload’. It was never firmly established how many Rucks it took to make a Shitload because, according to conventional wisdom, “If you have a Shitload, you have enough!” This system of ‘standard integers’ was ideally suited to the universal requirements of British industry because they can be used as a measurement of length or mass but equally as a measurement of volume or the passage of time. Even the intensity of human emotions was often calculated using this system. “Mr Brunel will be more than a tad peeved if this bridge turns-out to be a thumb-end short of reaching the other side of the Avon!” Said the foreman as he surveyed the site from his vantage-point atop a swarthy barmaid from Bristol; “And there’ll be a shitload of us filling the next batch of boats back to Ireland if it’s so much as a cock-hair out-of-kilter!” Excerpt from ‘The Building of the Dangly Bridge’ by R S Biscuits @1868. Nowadays of course we have all sorts of silly metric sizes for things while still clinging forlornly to the old imperial system of inches, feet, yards and miles. It’s no wonder we have difficulty grasping the finer nuances of measurements. Have you ever found yourself in the position where you need to replace a bolt on your bike or trike but you aren’t sure of the exact size? OK so, if you have the original bolt, you can try to roughly measure the diameter with a rule (or more exactly if you own a Micrometer), and perhaps you establish it to be in all likelihood 10mm in diameter (or 25/64 inch or about 8 cock-hairs); but then how do you know if it is a British imperial thread such as BA, BSF or BSW, or a metric thread or even a silly American ‘Unified’ thread? The simple answer is, generally you can’t! Maybe you can take a guess based on the manufacturer of the motorcycle but even that becomes less reliable with custom built bikes and trikes, so what do you do? Well you could try wading through all of the tech-spec stuff on the internet or you can go to your local bike-shop and ask them (again, less of an option for custom bikes). I suppose, if you are a deranged optimist, you could ask on one of the motorcycle forums on the internet but the chances are some incredibly boring bastards will give you the very-long-winded version of 'a completely wrong answer'. Well, I’ll tell you what you have to do! You have to ask around until somebody gives you the name of the local Wizard! Wizards nowadays don’t tend to dress in pointy hats, curly-toed shoes and starry robes, they are far more likely to be wearing oily jeans and a mucky, often blim-burned and invariably aged t-shirt; but they are no-less mystical and magical for that! Wizards can have strange names like ‘Grobo’ or ‘Snob’ or ‘Budgie’ though often they have fairly mundane-sounding names like ‘Chris Ireland’ or ‘Dick Smith’. My local Wizard is known as ‘Trike Paul’ and he can ascertain the size and thread of the bolt you need simply by licking the end of your thumb! Wizards can conjure-up whatever parts you need, including parts you weren’t even aware you needed, with the wave of a hand (though it can often be a very slow wave) and they can tell you how to fit them. Wizards can also ‘magic-up’ cups of tea with barely a flicker of movement, if you are prepared to listen to them describing in great detail how they designed a revolutionary exhaust bracket for a triple-expansion banjo polisher or some such bizarre item… and it is invariably ‘bloody good tea’! I hope this short educational; article has gone someway to helping you to solve your engineering problems. I shall now return to sitting in the corner of my nicely padded room and eating my crayons. You never know, now that Britain has left Europe, perhaps we can all get our cock-hairs back and start believing in magic again?

Just popped up to Damerells as the owners handbook was not on the Hornet when I got it home on day one. No issue they got one for me just needed to pick it up, they offered to post it but I didn’t need any encouragement to get out on the Hornet which is now shit high again. I did notice my old CB500 was in the sold line. The salesman did his best to convince me that I should buy a CB125 for my youngest. Who desperately wants a cool black bike like mine, tis a bit of a squint to see the resemblance but it is what she is after. The spanner in the works is that she has only just turned 16 so another 12 months yet. No sale today. I would prefer her to have something second hand but she knows her mind and would use her money so I don’t have a lot of say in it

You will and bonus will be able to power the fairy lights by just touching the plug.

The vets told us to just make sure she can’t harm herself while she’s fitting and to remain calm ourselves which I am able to do but my wife finds it difficult. She gets a bit anxious and that’s not helpful. Because the fits are pretty much under control most of the time they didn’t want to put her on medication (the dog, not my wife ).

visited a dealership today, to buy some waterproofing spray as I might go on a ride in the next few days. Took the chance to go look at the new GS. Good thing is that it looks a lot less ugly in real life than on youtube. It feels smaller than mine as well, which it is so it’s not really surprising. Had a sit on one that I could start for it to go back up to riding height, and it does feel lighter. The paint they use now on the engine and swingarm is not smooth anymore, a little like bedliner or wrinkle paint, not really a fan but it looks hardy. It is a complicated bike though, very complicated.

fixed.

I would like another bike after having @Bruce,s Trumpet, but age and finances do not allow, hopefully the "Gay Ped" will see me out my riding days, however many years that will be..

Have you ever considered going down that route?

She’s a hefty bugger that’s for sure but we absolutely do our best not to over feed her and our other dog is as fit a flea.

Volume 22?

I joined a carpenter's class last week. Haven't made anything yet .... we've only just begun

Its probably more like 30Kg less as it carries 6 more litres of fuel and it is supposed to have around 95 horses stuffed inside the engine, on paper it ticks all the boxes i'm interested in and looks good same as their 450. I'm hoping these bikes will wake the japs up and get them out of the ruts their stuck in.

I don't, that why i added the

https://images.app.goo.gl/pTwE1Jz862sbc3Vv5 My next scoot..................er not! It's gonna be expensive I bet.

Maybe heading to be more of a smaller Transalp than a trail CB?

True, be nice not to have the DADDDD! can you come and get me call as well.

Just had the Flu jab and the 5th Covid Jab! This one was Pfizer, so that makes it 2 AZ, 2 Pfizer, and 1 Moderna! Will I make it to Xmas @zzzak?

Why ?? the Honda NX range of bikes were always single cylinder in the past

Travel documentaries must have changed a bit since Alan Whicker's day then?

Nice looking dog. Hmm labradors, the dustbin dog and she looks like she ate all the pies

We had a couple of nice days in Spain and didn't see 1 dago midget. I reckon that Pete is hording them! We visited a Fort and the Salvador Dali museum in Figueres. Then got a train to Barcelona the following day. Then visited Salvador Dali's House and a lighthouse nearby and then took the scenic coast road back to home, passing through the abandoned border post between Spain and France.

It's now being relaunched as the NX500! I like the look of that!

Thank god she doesn't want some Indian POS! That lifestyle never ends well.

URRRRRRGGHHH! The details for activating the Lasting Power of Attorney are not recognised by the govt website. As she rang to wish me happy birthday in the wrong month I suspect she may have entered my date of birth incorrectly. Having looped around the enormous prerecorded message (due to now being in a call queue for 40 mins!) I now know “You can make no alterations after the document has been registered, any changes have to be lodged with the Court of Protection.” The current wait time for the Court to make amendments is 20 feckin weeks! Fingers crossed if I ever get to speak to someone theres an easy fix!

Better looking than that new duke.

Black looks better but it's bloody horrible.

My brother in law had a rescue lurcher. It had loads of fits and found out it's brain was growing faster than its scull. A vet suggested Canabis oil and it cut down the fitting so well. Unsurprisingly the dog has passed on now but would have been much sooner without.

they are coming...

And here we have the pigmy tribe whose favorite sport is nude mud wrestling with tourists.

He's probably organising the trips.

Befriend a tourst who resembles you and voila, new licence, passport, the works, just a bit messy sometimes.

You seem to know a lot about these activities ...............