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What about this for @XTreme . It will stop him getting another hernia and if we lock it and keep the key there will be no more of those goddam photos of his parts ...................

I think i'll get this for @busabeast

That's about the right size........my old muscles can't manage anything heavier..... Old twat me.

For @XTreme, a nice NC750x, heavier, not less gay and above all no more topbox!

To @Six30, so there’s no more masking marks on tires:

You'd be better off getting Clive a clone of himself so he can go out on the bike he already has without the wife wondering where he is

I thought the complete collection of the Encyclopaedia Britannica for @busabeast.......but i thought about and realised he does not need it.... Just jesting Rich

I'll start............. I'd like to get @Buckster a church all for himself. That way he could just go there and pray without all the other c*unts annoying him

Watched a programme with Ricky Tomlinson and Ralf Little driving around in a camper van last night. It was very entertaining but why do northerners bang on so much about it's soooooooooo great to be from the north ? They're nearly as bad as the Welsh .....................

Bought a new shaft that arrived yesterday. BMW was not a nice company to it’s dealers, dealers earn a percentage of the parts value when they replace them free of cost to the consumer, so when BMW started it’s campaign of replacing shafts free of charge they reduced the cost of the part from close to 1000€ to 120€+vat, obviously shafting their dealers who now earn much lower on those thousands of free maintenance they’re doing. Me, who had one of those free parts fitted chose to take advantage of the current and probably temporary lower cost of parts and have now got a new original shaft for 150€, good for lubing up and keeping for when my bike finally needs another one, probably close to 200.000km. Happy about that, happy like a man with two shafts

I will tell you a tale from when I was 16. I had a temporary job working in the rubber factory, making medical supplies like the plungers in syringes and similar little things. Anyway these things were moulded in sheets and then trimmed by presses. Working in the trim room were mostly women and working in the press deck were men. There were many more women than men. Anyway I was the QC in the trim room so working with the women. The times I got touched up as you had to bend and reach unter the trim presses to get a sample to test. Twas a daily occurrence and it was always the married women 35+ doing it. But it was 1982 and that was normal accepted behaviour in that workplace. When I left to go back and work for my dad, on the last day the women tied me to a tea trolly pulled my pants down and tied a ribbon around my dick then pushed the trolly around the trim room for all to see. Thank fuck there were no camera phones then. As you can imagine there was little to no supervision in the trim room as long as the work was done nobody cared. Looking back now twas pretty grim but I don't remember being outraged or scarred by it, not that I would recommend it. Can you imagine the furore if something like that happened now.

For Clive: The man spends a long long long… long time planning an escape

I was thinking of getting this for @busabeast for his lorry .................

CB500X would be just right for him.

A church with a nice garage, it’s Christmas after all

I'd get @Clive a decent bike!

Batman doesn’t use mac, neither

Pah!.....I can strip triples carbs while blindfolded.........i got plenty of enough fooking practise......I am over it now......,the meds worked wonders......they still are!.

Bloody cold outside, after taking the dogs out now with my whoolen socks, my whoolen blanket and my rum sitting down for a movie

You hurt my heart from far away, Clive. Fucks sake, change the chanel and watch Die Hard or some other Christmas thing.

They already have most of central africa financially over a barrel cos they've been heavily investing in infrastructure there for the last 10 years or so and that comes at a price that hasn't yet been disclosed but that I suspect will be a commercial monopoly of some description. They have now started trying to invest in eurpean infrastructure as this will allow them financial control there too. I'm starting to sound like that other conspiracy wanker, so I'll stop drinking.

That would come in handy for bus drivers in this area too

id get you a puppy, not to kill any one with ,.. you should just have a dog.

i'd get him a puppy, with some instructions, as follows... convince the wife to come on a walk with the new puppy, let her hold the lead.. find a nice path along a cliff top, at the highest point of the cliff push her off, this is the clever bit but a little sad as you are sacrificing the puppy... when emergency services arrive just say the puppy made a bolt for it cause he saw a rabbit or a twig or whatever and dragged the mrs over the cliff ... and there you have it ....the perfect murder .

Think mine is still considering the murder part, she seemed to be too interested in new kitchen knives a while ago when out shopping....

The Darkness worked out we have been together 31 years this year. I could have murdered her and still been out of clink for 15 years by now. But you are right time speeds up when you get into your 30's

Your still a boy

He's been good to me this year: €1K tax rebate, new phone, GoPro Hero 12 Black, and now a new PC! Unfortunately I can't swing it for a new bike!

I know, just been putting some roller blinds up for my daughter, with advice. I am ready to kill . Sorry Pete, buy any old shit you want if it makes you happy.

Well that's a chart that measures fuck all. What's the benchmark? what's the load? what's the task? Who did the test and when? Just a random set of numbers with no provenance, we can all make them up to serve our own bias. If you want a PC and it serves your needs fine, but Buckster is right buy a Mac, it will last longer than you will

They're all mine though, got the invoices to prove it Show me a brand that actually cares about their consumers and proper after sales assistance though, japanese parts cost and supply after a few years is a joke as well as their warranties. What happened with the shafts is that BMW were selling shafts as not being a serviceable item that lasts the life of the bike, when in reality that is clearly not the case. They took the serviceability out of the part to probably make it cheaper while at the same time taking a lot of the service it was needed on previous generations, but then bikes started getting abused with river crossings and inadequate pressure washing, and on top of that there was a design flaw that meant that water getting into the casing would no longer get out, causing a lot of corrosion issues. When a big part of the water-cooled 1200s started getting to high miles or long enough lifespan a lot of bikes were needing maintenance and BMW now wanted owners to pay up for what "suddenly" became a routine replacement part, that caused a lot of complaints and thus a scheme started in which they would inspect shafts for wear and corrosion and replace them at no cost when needed, on bikes with more than a certain mileage they'd replace them anyway as really they should be replaced at an average of 100.000km.

Member of a criminal family most likely.

Took the dog for a walk in Canada did you?

Thinking of pulling the trigger on THIS! HP M01-F3003ns, AMD Ryzen™5 5600G, 16GB RAM, 512GB SSD, AMD Radeon. Free delivery tomorrow! It's a lot of PC for the money and it's just had an €80 reduction. My 6 year old HP I3 is now struggling and can't run Windows 11. Plus I can claim the 21% IVA/VAT back on the taxes, and the total ex IVA is claimable against my business outgoings on this quarter's taxes.

It seems you are spending a lot of time handling shafts ever since your trip to Morocco.

I think he is a Tory councillor........that's how he get his contracts for the river widening company...no wonder he is worth a fortune.

Don’t forget the trailer.

I suspect you of being some sort of Secret Agent! Or maybe you're living under a Witness Protection Program? What you say @Clive?

Marcel , im nominating Marcel

I feel I’m missing out here so I’ve made my mind up to lower the tone of this forum (if that’s possible) at every opportunity next year in the vain hope I can be more of a cunt/twat than anyone else. A tall order I think but worth the effort to win something.

Speak for yourself