Tango

Two friends are having a nice round of golf, when one of them hacks his ball into the long grass next to a water trap. He's hunting through the long grass, backwards and forwards, when he eventually finds his ball, next to a frog. He reached down to move the frog, but the frog suddenly says "kiss me and I'll turn into a beautiful princess!" The guy steps back, "What?!!" The frog says "kiss me and I'll turn into a beautiful princess and we can get married and have lots of children and live in a big castle, happily ever after" The guy reaches down, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. His friend, who had come over to help look for the ball, says "didn't you hear what that frog said?" "It said that if you kiss it, it'll turn into a beautiful princess and you could get married and have lots of kids and live in a big castle, happily ever after!" The guy shrugged and lined up to take his shot "Well?" Said his mate, "don't you want all that?" The guy says "nah, I'd rather have a talking frog!"

Sunny but very windy and a bit cold here, so probably no getting out on the bike until sometime during the week.

A guy takes his monkey into a pub for a drink. The barman says "the monkey can stay here as long as it behaves" The guys says "Thanks, I'll keep him under control" After a few minutes the monkey suddenly jumps onto the bar and starts running up and down, knocking people's drinks over. The barman says "I said that monkey can stay here, as long as it behaves!" The guy apologises and promises to control his monkey. A few minutes later the monkey jumps down and runs around onto other customers tables, stealing their food and knocking drinks over. The barman says "Look, I told you that the monkey can only stay if it behaves itself!" The guy apologises again "I'm sorry, he just gets excited with other people around. I'll keep him under control" The barman says "OK, but that's it's last chance. Any more misbehaving and you're both barred!" After a few more minutes the monkey jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the balls and shallows it. The barman is livid, "That's it, you're barred and take your monkey with you!" The guys apologises and leaves. 6 months later the guy goes into the bar again. The barman says " Get out, you're barred!" The guy says "Look, I'm really sorry about what happened before, but the monkey has learned its lesson and is a reformed character " The barman says grudgingly "OK, but you get one chance. Any misbehaving and you're barred permanently!" The guy says "OK, understood " and sits at the bar, with the monkey on the barstool next to him. The monkey is very quiet and sits there, barely moving. After a while the monkey reaches onto the bar and carefully takes an olive from a bowl there, puts it up it's arse and then eats it. The barman goes ballistic! "Did you see what your monkey just did? It took an olive, stuck it up its arse and then ate it!" The guy says" Yeah, I'm sorry about that, but since the incident with the ball off the pool table he checks the size of anything before he eats it now!"

Congrats @Mawsley, will we see the interceptor next month?

Ruined the image I had of you!

I had to vote for Sofia, coz, well, anyone crazy enough to take a Speed Triple onto a muddy track deserves my vote!

Not much you can do about that, Pete. You're doing your bit.

Sounds like operation " Get them the fuck outta there" is coming together quite nicely now.

Ours have 29" wheels, but only front suspension. It's classed as a hybrid, but the chunky tyres are meant more for offroad, although it is ok on road. I was amazed at the difference compared to a standard bike. Hills are no longer avoided, in fact I actually pick routes with a few hills now!

Yes, they do make life a bit easier, Pete, but they are pedal assist, so you still have to pedal and the assistance cuts out above 25kph. There's 4 modes on these ones, which give varying degrees of assistance. The higher the assistance the shorter the range. On Eco mode I could probably get around 100km, but on Turbo mode I'd probably not see 25km. I tend to use Eco or the next mode (tour) most of the time, with a bit of EMBK ( e mountain bike) mode for short bursts on tricky bits. I've never used the Turbo mode.

The local beach was a scene of devastation after the recent rain and storms. Had a nice hour or two sitting watching the fishermen catching fuck all!

This was lying around on our local beach on Saturday! Maybe a bit underdone, @Slowlycatchymonkey?

A bit of Prog for a Monday evening.