Slowlycatchymonkey

Well Mr Slowly promised the boys proper party time when we get back today but the reality appears to be far from it..

Heated socks. They’re the dogs in that environment.

And you need to lay it on

I only see harmony. Try it.

Shut up twatface, I like people who have something useful to say.

Thanks, that’s useful to know.

Nope no guarantees. Being tolerant of alcohol which is a toxin is not necessarily a good sign. Intolerance of alcohol is called ‘crapulence’ Crapulence here I come

My first thought was I preferred the gravel Nice purple bruises have appeared but the mild concussion has receded and I think its a medical fact you can proceed with drinking loads of red wine.

Cold and sunny today which is perfect in the mountains. Got out and ski’d atrociously leading to the dubious pleasure of a providing the entertainment, a double somersault with ski’s still attached (bindings too tight) then sliding down the mountain sprawled upside down like a starfish.. style and grace personified. Reasting my bashed up self with a vin chaud like a lightweight Quirky little pub with no windows we had a bit of apres at yesterday. The largest bellows I’ve ever seen. Back now for fine wine and another 4 course meal, just call me Mrs Creosote. Soup with a lump of what I think is Gruyère that you break into chunks into the soup, yum

His forenames Ian and he’s a Londoner. He’s so tall he has to duck some distance to go through doorways

Off for late breakfast and some more sun ski n cider. Laters gators.

Eh? Nope ‘Lump’ due to him being the most curmudgeonly, intractable person you could ever meet making it impossible to move the ‘Lump’ to do anything at all he doesn’t want to. Argumentative, grumpy, refuses to smile, loves dishing out an insult and can take back the other way too. You got to admire that

Spose it depends on your expectations, I assume French cider will be undrinkable so it was a pleasant surprise to be able to get the stuff down. There are three different but identical looking Cidre Normandie’s so maybe you didn’t have the dry one? So far Somersets cider crown is more than safe

You just never know when to let go do you. Off to enjoy some fine food, wine and company. Do try not to fuck off anyone else.

You total twat. How many have you done now?!

He’s probably just having a break from all the twatiness. He’ll be back. We need him! Saul.. Saauuuullll…. SAAUULLL don’t leave us this waaaaay

Some pics so you lot don’t start up about the lack thereof. Sun, snow n cider cos it’s my civic duty coming from the West Country to test other countries offerings don’t you know. The view from the breakfast room. Some pics from skiing today. Just for Bob the two ciders I’ve sampled so far, both very nice but nothing for Somerset to be concerned about The obscured label is called la mordue (the death) glad I didn’t have that one before I ski’d A wee nap after all the exertion. The fifty layers I was wearing held me upright Now G&T time before food. I like the coasters!

Morning Mingers. Been a bit busy getting stuff done before holiday, will post some pics later - if I can both be arsed and brave taking my gloves off to take them Now what have you lot done to Saul?

So have you blown his tiny mind by leaving a comment saying you lived there?

Have you seen Rentokil are bringing in facial recognition for rats?! The rat surveillance will be able to tell if it’s the same rat coming back that’s causing damage and know where which rats are feeding and what place in a building they’re coming from because not all rats cause problems and they can eliminate the trouble maker rats first!

It is in my head, Pedro won last year

Immediately giving someone the shitiest part of the job they have to do is the easiest way to get rid of someone who can’t cut it isn’t it. When I was 15 I discovered the usual crappy jobs girls get didn’t suit me and I wanted a job as a farmhand, the very first thing I had to do was stick my ungloved hand deep into cow shit to steady a part that needed fixing on a shit scraper. First time time I set foot on a ward I had to clean up someone who was unable to weight bear and was plastered in diarrhoea (she kicked me and put diarrhoea in my hair!), same week I had to look after someone who vomited blood until they died and go to theatre to watch a hip replacement

Theres nothing like hearing a West Country accent to make me happy!

Superb @Sofia a very enjoyable read and so far top contender for ride report of the year! Great pics, very openly and warmly written ps I had pork cheeks in a restaurant last week, they are easily available from a butcher or online in the UK