Slowlycatchymonkey

Yer and there is that very helpful guy who’s a Brit bike enthusiast at the Honda garage down the road. He cared. But then again I think I might be past trusting other people to do the work. Gonna sleep on it.

I hope it is another planet and it’s not like the UK this is the third mechanic!

No it’s not normal. I think this guy had been cooped up with his ill kids for too long and probably had had no sleep. Sleepless nights and ill children do not make for a chilled human.

When one of my dogs was a puppy I put the Chinese takeaway containers in a bin liner in the garage on a table so she couldn’t get into them but as the gloop found it’s way to the bottom of the bin liners the corner of the bag went over the edge of the table, the tip of this corner was just in reach but only just. Her razor sharp puppy teeth tore into the corner but as she couldn’t reach any further it funnelled like an icing bag copious amounts of mostly what looked like sweet and sour sauce all over her head and face. She re-entered the kitchen cool as a cucumber like nothing had happened. Made me love her even more. Bad and cool.

Yes I shall break out my excellent Spanish turning French and back to English and see what comes back

My god you’re asking for it

I believe I know the things he’s done. And pray tell how does one know if they are looking at a proper mechanic? You don’t even know when you book a bike in somewhere if the person you spoke to who sounded competent is going to be doing the actual work! I’m fast coming or the conclusion I’m better off doing the work myself. It’s not rocket science.. close- engine burny fuel etc but it’s within my capabilities. Problem is I just don’t want to do it! Being practical is a pain in the arse, you end up doing bloody everything but its not as much as a pain in the arse as this is!

Thanks I have considered that but I have smallish hands and dodgy ligaments in my thumbs so I’m reluctant. I’m going to try and free up the grip and move the lumpy gubbins out of the way first. We arrived yesterday and have just been unpacking n resting. It’s on the immediate todo list just under sit down and rest

Umm I don’t really know why I think some fighty men like to measure themselves against other men on that score. They eyeball them thinking could I take him down in a fight and sometimes start posturing. His solid build, the cauliflower ear and missing tooth make him look like a fighter. He’s often been asked if he’s a boxer or does martial arts. He knows people find his looks a bit scary so he gives people a warm smile as soon as he meets them so they won’t be afraid. Sounds awful doesn’t it! To me he doesn’t look scary at all, I don’t understand it but when he was training for Iron man triathlon the sight of him running towards people would make them cross to the other side of the road fast. An ex friend of ours Cyclops suffered the worse type of that sort of thing. He was huge and I mean HUGE a proper beefcake. He only ever wanted to be a marine, he loved guns and all things macho so when he actually became a marine he was made up. But a regular army guy wanted to test his mettle and started pushing Cyclops about. Cyclops responded as you’d expect and put him on his arse with one push. He left the pub and was jumped by six squaddies looking for a bonding experience wanting to “take down a marine” They beat the shit out of him, blinded him in one eye and that was that he could no longer be a marine. He went quite insane after that.

The temperature suddenly soars, dramatically drops and then soars again. The ride is pleasantly uneventful and I’ve now mastered the necessary combo to get bike into neutral while moving by going down into first knocking it up into second (cos it won’t go into neutral straight from there) then a very very gentle tap down and hey presto it’s in neutral, well maybe you might have to do that two or three times! It takes a bit longer to master gauging how long before I need to stop to start this process in order to drift the rest of the way to a petrol pump but I get there in the end! Modo Apartment Hotel is well reviewed and all brand new with secure underground parking. There’s a supermarket next door and I’m really looking forward to cooking something. Theres only so many days I’m happy to go without hot food or cooking something… about one The temperature feels off the scale, clothes are flung off as quickly as possible and bags are unpacked fast so nice hot shower and a trip the the next door supermarket can reveal its goodies. Then the power goes off and the suns going down. Soon we will be sat in the dark, sweaty, unwashed and unable to cook. Emergency number gal is convinced we’re morons who don’t know what a trip switch looks like so we sit there for an eon with messages flying back n forth. Eventually someone turns up who really is clueless about fuse boxes but finally concedes via a video call it’s buggered. Pack everything back up and move to another apartment. An apartment that doesn’t have aircon and is pretty bloody hot. Nevermind, shower, supermarket, steak (mediocre quality) and nice wine. Pasta salad made for tomorrows lunch. I’m happy, alls well. Checking google maps street view didn’t give an accurate representation of how depressed Parla is. Parla isn’t nice. I won’t be stopping there again but I did enjoy having a kitchen and making some decent food. The apartment faced onto a square which was quite lively. Lots of people chatting and children playing. That was nice Apparently this is a double bed!

Oh and no, no punch ups yet

I spent a lot of my younger years ensuring he doesn’t get into a fight so I’m good at recognising the warning signs and manoeuvring him away! Thing is there are some men who like to fight and they eye up other men thinking about a fighting them. It’s some weird animal dominance thing. Mr Slowly doesn’t like violence he thinks it’s grossly uncivilised but he’s just got that look and if fighty men want a fight and they push too much they’ll get one. I have to say whatever it is they see in Mr Slowlys eyes mostly has the desired and effect they almost always back off.

Do you? You haven’t mentioned it

Ok I’ll just stay inebriated til then.

I’m a patient person but also not good at waiting. When might this torture be concluded?

Super feckin wide. Shite for filtering cos they make the bike wider than the bars. But you know Pete what price a decent cup of tea? I couldn’t do Spain without tea!

Oh they were trash. Rich trash. Draped in Gucci with the flashy logos showing. Not a lot of pics Pete. Didn’t stop to take anything scenic. It was just a “Get there before the bikes break” type of thing!

I make us up some lovely sarnies and tea from my food stash and we get packed up. The lift to the vehicle deck is broken and we’re on deck eight. It’s so bloody hot in the vehicle deck and the walk hasn’t helped. Some folk have sweat quite literally pouring down their faces. A very round tubby shaped guy tries to squeeze between my bike and a leather embellishment on his clothing wraps itself around my indicator. He doesn’t look or stop and starts forcefully yanking his kutte, I shout woah woah woah, he ignores me so I grab the offending dangling thing on his kutte and yank him backwards shouting more loudly WOAH. Badass biker or not I’m not having him wrecking my bike. He still doesn’t look back and starts pulling again. Mr Slowly see’s me struggling with the dumbass and clambers in front of him saying mate MATE YOU HAVE TO STOP. He did because cos Mr Slowly is now in his way and I kept my indicator but bloody hell my hands now really hurt from holding onto that bowling ball! I untangle him- no apology, he didn’t even look back. I mutter to myself he’s an ignorant man. I start to fret that if my bike stalls while in gear I won’t be able to move it and I’ll block other people getting off the ferry. So I climb to the people I’d potentially block in and say I’m going to roll my bike back to the side and they should go around because I’ve developed a fault and need to get off last. Well it was only dumbkutte guy wasn’t it. I think he thought I’d come to tell him off. He looked fearful and then relieved. Then offered to help with my bike. Which I politely declined as I’ve had one dumbass mechanic working on it already and could well do without another People are so strange. First stop Mr Slowlys favourite Motel nr Valladolid and he’s determined working speedo or not to lead us there! I generally choose the accommodation based on the bike parking and this garage off your bedroom thing they do in Spain is excellent. Don’t have to fully unload your bike or carry your gear miles and can check your bike over easily out of the sun or rain Next morning we set off for Parla on the edge of Madrid. Again chosen for the parking. It’s warm and partially cloudy so the 25 degrees when riding feels good. A smiley photo before I left Emporio just for @Grasshopper

I want it to be the Busa cos I sat on one at a bike show and it felt like a great. It would be wasted on me, the Bandit and the 9T is plenty and the Livewire is out of this world on the acceleration front but I still want one!

How would that make us look any different to usual?

I dearly love and enjoy the company of my children they make me laugh a lot, other peoples children I only like in very short bursts and definitely don’t want to holiday with or near the demanding little so n so’s. Unfortunately I had children between 6-10 years ahead of my friends and just like then they have no idea where I’m at. If I’m being completely honest I now find them boring and snobby. They still think life’s something you can win at by having the best car, most expensive holidays, fattest salary, biggest house and eating food from an artisan deli. Alright I confess I still like an artisan deli but not cos I’m trying to win an imaginary competition I’ve found myself bothering less with them and more and more with my biker friends who are older women so don’t spend all their time talking about their kids. In fact I still don’t know for sure after 4 years of friendship who does or doesn’t have kids because we spend all our time talking about bikes, where we’re riding next or where we’d like to ride. They are also fairly straight talking no bullshit sorts so your not left guessing what they really think or want to do. Most refreshing and far more interesting than listening to how little Johnnys doing at school! Viva motociclismo!

That is much nicer!

Is it G&T time yet? If not it must be beer o’clock at least?

I did think Sir Fallsalot would fix this with a filter

I so do know. I’m the one that turned them up to burningly hot