Slowlycatchymonkey

Sunday- Not a very exciting instalment because today we’re on the road home by 10 in the morn. Some of the Himalayan trip women want to do the yoga at 7.30 am (I feel yoga is chasing me) but no amount of arm twisting is going to prize me from my warm tent for exercise at that hour- nutters. We spend some time talking about this motoguzzi, about the Italians grasp of aesthetics, about perfectly machined parts and the reliability of different brands/bikes and what was wrong with them, you know the sort of stuff, Nortons rubber mounted engine etc etc, it was a geek fest of epic proportions, right up my street. Can’t remember whose bike this is though, anyone know? Its clearly a RTW travellers but I cant remember or maybe dont know who did it on a Guzzi? Due to a pet emergency we’re packing up early, the emergency being one of the dogs has a load of shite wedged over its rear end and seems distressed about it… scoot scoot… scoot scoot scoot. My sons want to take it to the vet rather than deal with it! I tell them no way, get some gloves man up but by 9am its still not done so things literally went to dog shit As we pack up and the tent starts to be folded the gnarly lump of wood we’ve been carefully walking around for four days turns out to be the missing tent pegs, the missing tent pegs that had me wandering from tent to tent with my hands out asking anyone if they had any spare My camp neighbours (really nice blokes) who took the mick continually about forgetting the tent pegs a had hearty laugh at that one. Yet again I have failed to attend the vast majority of the talks I wanted to get to… but it was worth it, lots of bikes and lots of well oiled bikers meant a good time was had by everyone. I met some really good festival people this year who love bikes and just wanna have some fun so we did We arrive home to find the boys had managed to brace themselves for shittery and had even found some germaline for the dogs arse, very proud of them Next up a very short coast to coast mid July from Robin Hoods bay to Morecambe with a 78 year old man on a 125 shopping trolley. What could possibly go wrong?

I couldn’t shift a low rider or the other lovely Harleys theyre too heavy, this with a reverse gear I could. Agree the lean angle is very small but Id live with it riding the straight roads of America (like most of Route 66) after which Id polish it and drink beer next to it just like a Harley rider Yep off road on an FJR and a pint would be impressive but no he drank some and followed directions 200 metres to the camping sweet spot where I reappeared with the rest of his pint

I’m not a collector of ‘star photos’ I always feel sorry for them with every one asking them the same questions and being overly friendly when they dont even know them, must be annoying! Didnt see Sam, he was probably hidden from sight by a gaggle of admirers

A forgotten photo from friday. I stood out on the path precisely where my mate would need to turn to find our lovely empty camping spot with a pint of beer, he said its the best festival welcome he’s ever had! Anyway back to Saturday. Saturday- This morning is a less than an exciting start, I knew for sure the longer I could hold onto the sides of the sleeping bag the better life would be. I’m not on my own in this and nobody is ready to do anything until several cups of tea have been drunk but by lunch time hunger pangs motivate us to get some sort of hangover cure. Some excellent quality burgers provided the necessary sustenance, don’t ask me how but somehow we were ready to roll again ‘The Dirty Cow’ burger a hangover cure n a half. Next Mr Slowly goes for a test ride on a Ducati scrambler, to his surprise he was booked for an off road ride, a surprise to him because even with minimal bike experience he thinks the Ducati Scrambler quite rightly is no off road bike. Before they set off he’s thrilled to hear its very muddy and slippery and they’ve had to shut some sections of the 20 mile course… not His first instructions is- “On this section DO NOT touch your front brake at all” but Mr Slowly is one of those people that just doesnt follow instructions, sometimes because he just doesnt like being told what to do by anyone so doesn’t listen and sometimes he just wants to see what will happen… not even three metres from take off his hand stretches out towards the front brake and while one part of his brain is shouting NOOOO the other part makes him squeeze that lever- the bike goes one way and him the other. This piss taking was monumental cos who hasn’t experienced this demented brain quirk at some point? Sadly no pics cos as usual when you’re having a really good time taking pics goes out the window. Had a good old view of the Harely Pan America which I think is much better in the flesh and in black, still cant make my mind up about it though and agree with Mr Slowly it would be vastly improved by a knight rider ‘Kit’ red led strip swooping left to right on the front. Probably saying “Good morning Mr Money Bags, where can I take you today? Ive taken the liberty of sacking the bike valet after finding I still have grit in my bellypan” About 10 of Himalayan trip women are up for the pub quiz so after a couple of much needed hairy dogs we wander over to the quiz area. I dont really enjoy these things because theres always someone who’s competitive nature takes over and it gets way too serious, if you take 10 people of their tenacity theres gonna be more than one competitive soul… Eventually the stupidity ends and the fun begins when we decide to partake in a couple more refreshments and some mild heckling of Steph while she does her Q&A session with the Sidecar Guys, somehow its seems to go down very well and Steph messages to to say thankyou Unfortunately Ive accidentally spent all my fun tokens the night before dancing late which I was told the next day is not allowed. Id broken the rules- No dancing singing or shouting to reduce the chances of Covid transmission.. oops. So I bow out gracefully before tottery me appears (unlike the night before ) and have to accept if I dont get some sleep I may end up in the medical tent in a foil blanket sipping electrolytes. Four of my Himalayan Trip compadres before things took off on Saturday.

Lucky to meet a lot of them! Met Elspeth a few times, didn’t catch her talk this time but she’s usually good.

Friday- a massive influx of too many people occurred. The numbers increased enormously but the facilities available had not been calculated correctly… cue the queues. Who wants to queue for 1-2 hours for food or drink and a lot of the concessions ran out of food by 8pm there will be plenty of complaints I’m sure. Fortunately they didnt run out of booze and what with the restrictions only recently lifting allowing these type of events the general mood remained pretty good. As luck would have it we seemed to have camped in a magical little spot out of view with plenty of space and its own separate toilet and showers- a massive result and plenty of room for friends joining us today. Bike camping being what it is a lot of people had brought their own food and drink (or quickly did) and the food stalls upped their game so by lunch time the next day the queues had reduced significantly (apart from for ablutions) and the the good times were rolling again. So many nice bikes to look at it was hard to know where to start the drooling. I was surprised to find myself drawn to two total marmite bikes, the latest Hayabusa and the carbuncled BMW that is the R18. The R18 is IMO much better looking in real life. The mahoosive chromed boxer engine sticking far out of the frame leading into their symmetrical dual ‘classic exhaust’ (thats the double round one not the rather odd fishtail jobby with the ‘authentic’ ugly seam) was on another planet, it looked like a cool 50’s spaceship and I was more than happy to hop aboard. The chrome was that thick chrome you’d expect and shouted “I’m a quality beast”. I was extremely surprised how easy it was to lift off the stand, its 345 kilos and felt so much lighter than my 240kg Bandit. I also discover theres an option for a reverse gear…. I think I might NEED it for Route 66 so now its just the small matter of £18,995… The Hayabusa I sat on before Id even looked at what it was, I just thought it looked like fun. The sales guy wandered over so I asked a few questions, when I got to BHP, he replied its 188 which made me burst out laughing, now theres a bike worth maiming yourself for But as usual this is also on the “HOW MUCH?!?!?” list with a starting price of £16,495. Hey ho… dreams can come true After pint number two was finished (dont get me started on the shameful ciders available- at one point my only option was a bottle of ‘Berries and Cherries’ an utter abomination that has no right to be called cider) all chances of actually going out for a ride disappeared into happy bike chat occasionally drowned out by the sound of motorbike engines and the stink of exhaust fumes.. bliss. Id like to show you a pic of happy people drinking but all I have is a pic of walking back to the tent and tbh its a fair representation of how the end of the evening went

Well yeah for a polite t-shirt that’s a given but at least the small feet are on top….

Mr Slowlycatchymonkey’s birthday t-shirt

What? what’s that? Its like a beeping kind of noise, the type you hear on vehicles reversing Ah so you are a smooth talker

I like the sentiment but the implication Id be the any shit youd have to put up with isnt quite the dream ticket Id be looking for you smooth talker

It happens

Abr is a large commercial bike festival where you spend 3 (or 4 if you have a VIP ticket ) days pissing it up listening to music and test riding bikes. Theres also off road riding, talks from people who’ve done all sorts of shite on motorbikes and over 100 different bikes available to try out. Oh and the food n music is good. Covid wise theres no safer time to go out, the vaccine currently works, hospitalisations and deaths are at an all time low and you have to draw the line somewhere and get on with living whatever time you have left with infectious disease thrown into the mix. Covid is here to stay, it will mutate to the point tweaked vaccines are needed so youre going to have to pick n choose what you do risk wise on that front forever, same as dengu fever, malaria, Ebola, Japanese encephalitis or any other infectious disease that can kill you. You can still catch the plague from a squirrel in this country but a sense of proportion is necessary when viewing the stats. For me Overlander is a more enjoyable event. Lots of people there who walk the walk and a far more low key affair where youre likely to find yourself at 1 in the morning sitting round a camp fire of some people youve never met laughing your tits off because urr umm what was that you just gave me?

Id say you do have a good eye! It was my dear ol pops bike and I bought it off him (at friends n family rates) for Mr Slowlys surprise Christmas Prezzie 2019 four weeks after he’d passed his test. Quite possibly the best prezzie Ive ever given anyone, the joy was off the scale.

If left them open because two males left a sopping wet towel in the back that caused my car to go mouldy, not something most women would overlook! One is one of my favourites

Ooh and Happy Fathers Day to all you good Dads out there.

Waterproof bag arrived for across the back of the panniers, dont think I needed the 200 litre option and the dimensions on the website arent quite right…. On the upside my first thought was Buckster would like this bag, it’s cadaver sized and waterproof so no leaky DNA in your boot

Pissing down here, guess who left their car windows open?!

On my doorstep waiting for my bezzie to pick me up. Swinging by the rugby club to pick up our husbands and having a curry n few drinkies together. First time since the end of 2019!! Excited doesn’t describe it!

Asserting her independence against the authority already ay, sounds like youve got a good’n there, you want then to have something about them, something that lets you know they’ll be alright in life. You dont really want a mousey do as your told goody two shoes, they tend to get walked on so in a way pain in the arse as it is for your poor wife its a good sign me thinks.

Are you saying Spain just views the UK as a bunch of racist A holes? Racism, sexism, prejudice and bigotry arent the sole reserve of the UK, far from it, many European countries seem to have that problem too, as demonstrated by the general comments about British people and the coldness youve picked up on.

No I wasnt but if your reasons for Britains fall in status (which I agree completely has occurred) are political then I hope the average person is aware that most of us normal folk are just as much at the whims of their leaders as any other country. Most people arent political they just want to get on with their lives. If your saying they dont have the nous to hold more than one view Ill have to take your word for that, sad though it is.

Which recent events?

I dont buy into that. We do a good line in loud drunken underclass but thats just one facet, most Europeans (and tbh I find that term reductionist because Greece, Italy, Spain, Germany for example are as different from each other as Britain is to them) are sophisticated enough to have more than one view. There are other views of the British regarding technology, innovation or even just simply economically.

He doesnt need a defence, he didn’t say it was his view. He said thats how we are viewed.

Thats just plain old tribalism Pedro. Been going on since the beginning of time. One group picks out or makes up negative imagery or stories to make their own group tighter or feel superior in some way. Every country does it. Slagging off another country makes people comfortable that their way is the right way. Happens here too, we receive societal messages about why our country is superior to others. I wouldn’t dream of regurgitating that crap on here. Humans from any place on the planet have a lot more in common than they do differences, a mothers love and care for their child is one of the most constant things in the universe no matter where you are. I do hope you dont buy into this bigotry.