Slowlycatchymonkey

Ive not been very clear, my bad. Thats what he said while I was a kid growing up.

He has never stopped. I bought the Fat Boy off him to surprise Mr Slowly and at the moment he’s whizzing around on a scooter (he calls the egg whisk) while looking about at what he wants next.

He has repeatedly throughout my upbringing to stop me getting a bike- “Everyone I know who rode a bike is either dead or disabled” ”I was one of the lucky ones.” Alternated with it was down to skill, a sixth sense or a guardian angel (yes exact same words). ”Its not the same now, if you went bouncing down the road then there was no other traffic, now you’d get squashed” ”We used to have a lot of fun racing on the north circ, you couldn’t do that now” ?

Id rather not remember ?

Unless youre lucky enough to have reverse or find yourself in the position of always being able to ride in and ride out its the inevitable pushing them about that does you in. Having said that I met three Aussie women who all rode Harley road glides (370+kg) when they were at home. I asked them about having to move them and they said they dont, theyre just careful where they park! If youre “careful where you park” in England you’d never get parked! The joys of living in wide open spaces ay!

A film about Cambodia?!

As someone who has disappeared underneath a toppling 320+ kilo Harley (I did type Fat Boy but you can imagine how that read ?) I don’t find them manageable ?

Hmm you sound like him ? Except my parents my mother and father both rode motorbikes whilst preaching we really shouldn’t, it’s stupid etc etc. My mum even ran off with a Ducati dealer so it’s a bit pot called ?

Really £36? Do they look genuine?

That’s exactly what thought. Over 346kg dry?!

Yep. Always wanted one but parents went ON and ON and ON about how dangerous they are and don’t get one. Then they gave their 3 children (me and two bothers) a chunk of money. Unbeknown to me they made my brothers promise not to spend it on a motorbike but they didn’t say that to me so I had a think about what to do with some of it and thought I’ve always wanted a motorbike, it’s now or never. They were completely horrified “we didn’t make you promise because there was no need because you’re the sensible one” I replied “Think again ?” Then husband stopped playing rugby, could no longer triathlon due to back/neck pain and sporty people need movement to be happy so it was an obvious choice. Meant I had to mostly give up riding on my own which I don’t resent at all. I said I DONT RESENT AT ALL ????

He’s made up with it now, rides it all the time.

Hasnt he just ?

Oh no you’ve lost me there I like warm hands! Have heated grips on full blast on my Himalayan with no issues and the bloke I bought it from admitted (after I transferred the money) the battery had been completely flattened. He’d gone away and his wife said the alarm was going off and she couldn’t stop it. Eventually it stopped of its own accord- cos the battery was knackered. Im still using that battery. Although it’s on an optimate when not in use so there’s that.

A Harley Fat Boy and a BMW F800GT He wouldn’t have it he needed anything but the Harley. I couldn’t persuade him it’s not great for touring until I said “How do you think you’ll feel pulling up outside somewhere dodgy looking in the pissing rain and having to leave your lovely shiny bike outside?” 2 days later he shouted from another room “IVE FOUND ONE” he then appeared with the F800 on his iPad ? It was about double the budget I had in mind ? but it was the perfect choice so ?

I was relieved when I googled mukluk ?

Hehehe. If they offered me a beating they’d soon be sorry ?

Since he passed his test a year ago he’s been on the same slippery slope everyone gets on and now loves ‘em. I more mean the desire to do those type of trips. Hence starting him out with LEJOJ and then Spain. If he doesn’t fancy doing things farther afield he’s cool with me going without him ?but I think if it’s incremental stages he’ll love the idea, if not I’m happy on my tod ?

I thought it was a joke that people spend their time at garden centres and then my bezzie said that’s exactly what she does on many weekends, the whole family gets dragged to the garden centre, sounds horrendous ?

Just thinking maybe they were both considered ‘underage’? But who knows how long their age of consent laws have been in place.

The bike looks great, I’d have one but then my first bike was a wee 125 Hilts Mutt so clearly I’m gonna be a sucker for the looks. Not so keen on the Steve McQueen marketing thing though, plaster the name Steve McQueen on something and its instantly cool, nope I cant buy into that, especially as he was known to be a bit of wife beater, distinctly not cool in my book. But if someone offered me one I wouldn’t turn it down ?

Eh? ? Google says the age of consent in Australia differs by area between 16 and 17 so maybe thats how but even so it still doesnt add up?!

I don’t have a specific place I want to go first but I want to ride round the world jigsaw style. I dont see that happening in one hit because I dont want to turn it into a slog, I want to take my time and enjoy it. If I can get Mr Slowlycatchymonkey to the level where he’ll embrace doing something like Mawsleys Ho Chi Mhin trail then that would be ideal but if not I’m going to do it anyway, woe betide anyone who tries to stop me, they will be trampled underfoot ? So thats my reality suspended dream. One that better happen ? I dont fancy Russia though, maybe I’ll warm to the idea.

Wikipedia- In 1963 he spent a short time in Fremantle Prison's assessment centre and nine months at the Riverbank Juvenile Institution, relating to charges of giving a false name and address to the police, having escaped legal custody, having unlawful carnal knowledge, and stealing 12 gallons of petrol.[1] He attempted to join the Australian Army, but was rejected and deemed "socially maladjusted" What is ‘unlawful carnal knowledge’?!

One of my favourites because I regularly think it while slowly increasing the cog speed first thing, I think its an Oscar Wilde one- Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast