It’s stopped bleeding now, the bottom cut is not quite big enough to need a stitch, I have surgical needle and thread here if it had been bigger, I don’t do doctors for cuts unless a limb is hanging off.
I just tried unsuccessfully to cut my thumb off. Trying to get a top of a bottle but mananaged to snap the top off the bottle instead, ended up slicing my thumb just above and just below the joint.
That time you walked past a window and felt cold air on your neck, you said grandma was speaking to you, what was she saying?
”Fix the fucking window you lazy ginger twat!”