Renegade

A motorcyclist was driving along a highway when suddenly a sparrow hit his helmet when trying to fly across. The motorcyclist struggled to control his motorcycle and almost crashed, but eventually he managed to stop. Nearby he noticed the sparrow that looked dead but after an examination it turned out he was still alive although unconscious. The motorcyclist took pity and he took the sparrow with him to his home. He put him into a cage, he gave him some bread and water and left. After a while the sparrow wakes up: he sees the bars, he sees bread and water and thinks: Oh shit, I killed the motorcyclist!

Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly, so the police needed someone to identify the body. His two best friends, Seamus and Sean, were sent for. Seamus went in, and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said, "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad roll him over". So the mortician rolled him over. Seamus looked and said, "Nope, it ain't Paddy." The mortician thought that was rather strange, and then he brought Sean in to identify the body. Sean took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad; roll him over." The mortician rolled him over, and Sean looked down and said, "No, it ain't Paddy." The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Sean said, "Well, Paddy had two arseholes." "What? He had two arseholes?" asked the mortician. "Yup, everyone knew he had two arseholes. Every time we went into town, folks would say, "here comes Paddy with them two arseholes" You've just got to love the Irish