Pedro

FCPorto. I'm not a football guy but I'm local to Porto, and on a match against a team from Lisbon I am for us northerners. To see Pinto da Costa weeping as he's just left the position of president after 42 years in it, and the coach Sérgio Conceição also with tears in his eyes, being an ex player and hardcore "Porto", probably also coaching his last match in the club, I have to admit it was moving.

It doesn't need to move! Don't try and kill Bob off with a mad engine in a 10 inch wheel scooter. I hope it shall be used to fetch pizzas to the household and take Ersilia out for dinner on summer evenings.

You just squeeze that in on this thread like you've having cheese toasts and mimosas for brunch? Congratulations!

Waiting for the cup final to finish before continuing with dinner

Why did you buy, @boboneleg?

That’s completely nuts!

85% sure? 90%?

I bet there's a MX engine in there, 80cc or 125cc.

I've finished my wine over dinner, like the church says. I'm on tea now, you alcoholics!

This is what you want for a scooter, proper basket.

You’ve managed to fill half a glass without losing any from the bottle. That’s drinking skills!

Just spent the better part of three hours taking off, and cleaning, my car's blower motor. It's been intermittently making an annoying whirr. Now, I managed to clean a lot of black soot and it looks brand new, but have gone from an intermittent whirr to what sounds like an angry bobcat stuck inside a box

Elefant?

That sounds like it needs perfecting.

Please don’t get a Vespa

You take a standard road bike, turn it offroady, then you get a Ducati Scrambler. But then you have too much grapa on a friday night, and you take the street bike turned offroady, and make it into a cafe racer with a fairing. Next, they’ll take the cafe racer with a fairing and make it more offroady again, and then …

Or, proper left field

I got it, it’s a Moto Guzzi getting the model is way too much to expect.

Country of origin?

Tearing up a golf course is fun on anything. It should have a Citroen Traction Avant body for extra comedy effect

1979… not a BMW, but kind of…

Light a fuel station on fire, and still you wouldn’t match the fuel consumption on that thing

There’s something really great about boxers, though, appart from good traction on slippery surfaces, good torque, and sounding great at full chat, and that’s not having a 270° crank to put on silly internet articles.

It’s a 2000cc bike with no space for a pillion? Even hipsters like to get laid!