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Ex-Wives....Ex-Girlfriends! Let's hear the Horrors!


XTreme

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Due to @Mawsley being a Twat we all got a bollocking from @Grasshopper's Ride for derailing her Dakar thread.

So she's laid the law down and told us to start a new thread to dish the dirt on our exes!

I'll kick it off......

My ex-wife (76-82) used to leave used jamrags on the floor!

One time I accidentally stepped on one barefoot in the bathroom.

It was like trying to get a blood soaked flipper off my fucking foot!

Over to you guys!

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Just now, Clive said:

Mine used to shag my brother.?

 

kramer GIF

I wasn't sure whether you were going to come out with that one Clive!

But at least you did it subtly......."Mine used to shag my brother". :classic_laugh:

I'm not sure if anybody's going to top that one.....it's certainly made my used jamrag seem somewhat trivial! :classic_unsure:

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20 minutes ago, Buckster said:

Dakar rally is much like a woman, alluring and exciting at first, then the psycho bitch tries to kill you.

Look at you go, blending multiple hot topic threads into one. ? 

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29 minutes ago, Clive said:

You don't know what you have missed out on @Tym

I;ll give it a try...lawyers fees.consulting services.judge ordered public service.restrainning ordered red flag all my guns are gone, rug rats wallet leaches,

 

who wants to go to college!?! Why, just going to live in my basement anyways, motorcycles? lol....sex? lol...

 

How am i doing so far?

 

:classic_unsure:

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4 minutes ago, BusBoy said:

 

Dont put 2 and 2 together and get 5. I said no such thing.

 

My ex developed schizophrenia 4 months into the marriage. Watching someone change so radically and then blow out wasn't fun.

Sorry....

I sense I am getting on your nerves, I'll try to not be so annoying......try being the key word here.

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6 minutes ago, BusBoy said:

There you go again. You're miles out. I think you're cute, in a krimpvarkie kinda way. Very bossy, somewhat precious, could do with a good ladies night out.

OK, good....cause I'm having fun....?

....maybe not bossy, just good a making affirmative suggestions that are open for intellectual debate, time permitting. ?

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When my ex moved out of our house she crushed cereals into the carpets and took the hoover, peeled all the labels off the tins of food so I had no idea what was in them and removed all the lightbulbs. She also took every stick of furniture apart from some beach chairs in the garage and a crappy old TV.

Mind you, it was a small sacrifice to get her out of the house ???

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2 minutes ago, Skippy said:

When my ex moved out of our house she crushed cereals into the carpets and took the hoover, peeled all the labels off the tins of food so I had no idea what was in them and removed all the lightbulbs. She also took every stick of furniture apart from some beach chairs in the garage and a crappy old TV.

Mind you, it was a small sacrifice to get her out of the house ???

Shit......she sounds a bit of a nutjob Ray. What year did that happen?

Mine threw all my clothes out into the street (when I wasn't there) and tore up virtually every bike related photo I'd taken during the period 71-82.

One or two pics have survived but they're just a fraction of what I had.

I sold my CB750 to a mate the previous week otherwise she'd have put a hammer through it......I've got no doubt about that.

At that point I was then homeless......that was January 1983.

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3 minutes ago, Sir Fallsalot said:

So what i want to know is what you all done to get these women to react like this :rofl:

Well I've been belted by at least a dozen females......and stabbed by one! 

I might have behaved inappropriately on a few occasions, and the others (including the stabbing) was when I red carded them.

The situation with the ex-wife was I'd already told he I'd had enough of her shit (and jamrags) and I was leaving.

A few days later I may have inadvertently mentioned to her that she was being replaced by a 20 year old........and she just lost her shit completely!

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49 minutes ago, XTreme said:

Shit......she sounds a bit of a nutjob Ray. What year did that happen?

Mine threw all my clothes out into the street (when I wasn't there) and tore up virtually every bike related photo I'd taken during the period 71-82.

One or two pics have survived but they're just a fraction of what I had.

I sold my CB750 to a mate the previous week otherwise she'd have put a hammer through it......I've got no doubt about that.

At that point I was then homeless......that was January 1983.

Mmmm not exactly sure, probably about 1990. She also held my car as ransom until I gave her half the equity in the house. About two months after I got it back a mate of mi e was in the passenger seat and pulled the sun visor down to find a note that said “this is my seat you bitch” ?

I had to pull over as me and him nearly pissed ourselves laughing. Just for the record there was no ‘bitch’ ???

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Just now, Skippy said:

Just for the record there was no ‘bitch’ ???

Typical Londoner.......no forward planning! :classic_wacko:

This is the way it works Ray......if you're going to red card one you gotta make sure you've got at least one replacement ready to go on the subs bench. :littleguy:

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1 hour ago, XTreme said:

Typical Londoner.......no forward planning! :classic_wacko:

This is the way it works Ray......if you're going to red card one you gotta make sure you've got at least one replacement ready to go on the subs bench. :littleguy:

Bollox to that Pete, sometimes you’ve got to acknowledge the limit of your patience ????

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2 minutes ago, Skippy said:

Bollox to that Pete, sometimes you’ve got to acknowledge the limit of your patience ????

Yeh but if you think your patience is starting to get slightly stretched then you go shopping Ray! 

Give the new one a good test ride.....making sure it's fit for purpose......then administer the red card to the current one!

Then get stabbed! :classic_laugh:

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