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Slowlycatchymonkey

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2 hours ago, Pedro said:

He’s got both legs, a BMW jacket, and no dickhead helmet, so I hate to be the one to tell you it’s not likely to be you.

And yet You're the one who rides a Beemer....🤔

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A young couple were walking down Lovers Lane, When suddenly she said Darling I NEED A WEE and the chap said go behind that hedge, which she did, He couldn't resist it he put his hand through the hedge for a little grope, When he felt something long and warm hanging there and he said BABE have you changed your sex, and the girl said I've changed my mind you silly boy I'm having a shit.

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A Chap went to visit his old mum an dad, When he got there his dear old dad was sitting in his rocking chair on the porch with no trouser's or pants on, the chap said Dad why are you sitting out here like that, and the father said it's your ruddy mother's idea because i sat out here yesterday with no shirt on and last night i had one hell of a stiff neck so she said i'd better sit like this today.

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A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said,

"I want to be a movie star."

Tall, handsome, and with experience on Broadway, he had the right

credentials . The agent asked, "What's your name?"

The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."

The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into

Hollywood, you are going to have to change your name."

"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will

not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."

The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years...you will NEVER

go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you,

you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you."

"So be it! I guess we will not do business together," the guy said and he

left the agent's office.

FIVE YEARS LATER......The agent opens an envelope sent to his office.

Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for £50,000. The agent is

awe-struck, who would possibly send him £50,000? He reads the letter

enclosed...

Dear Sir,

Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in

Hollywood, you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it

with my God-given birth name, I refused.

You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van

Lesbian .. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I

decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to

return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have

made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my

appreciation.

Thank you for your advice.

Sincerely,

Dick van Dyke!

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