Six30 Posted March 30, 2022 Share Posted March 30, 2022 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yen_powell Posted March 30, 2022 Share Posted March 30, 2022 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted March 30, 2022 Share Posted March 30, 2022 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted March 31, 2022 Share Posted March 31, 2022 Shut the curtains @Mawsley for fuck sake   1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swagman Posted March 31, 2022 Share Posted March 31, 2022 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTreme Posted March 31, 2022 Share Posted March 31, 2022 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted April 1, 2022 Share Posted April 1, 2022 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckster Posted April 1, 2022 Share Posted April 1, 2022 ‘ 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tango Posted April 1, 2022 Share Posted April 1, 2022 A guy takes his monkey into a pub for a drink. The barman says "the monkey can stay here as long as it behaves" The guys says "Thanks, I'll keep him under control" After a few minutes the monkey suddenly jumps onto the bar and starts running up and down, knocking people's drinks over. The barman says "I said that monkey can stay here, as long as it behaves!" The guy apologises and promises to control his monkey. A few minutes later the monkey jumps down and runs around onto other customers tables, stealing their food and knocking drinks over. The barman says "Look, I told you that the monkey can only stay if it behaves itself!" The guy apologises again "I'm sorry, he just gets excited with other people around. I'll keep him under control" The barman says "OK, but that's it's last chance. Any more misbehaving and you're both barred!" After a few more minutes the monkey jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the balls and shallows it. The barman is livid, "That's it, you're barred and take your monkey with you!" The guys apologises and leaves. 6 months later the guy goes into the bar again. The barman says " Get out, you're barred!" The guy says "Look, I'm really sorry about what happened before, but the monkey has learned its lesson and is a reformed character " The barman says grudgingly "OK, but you get one chance. Any misbehaving and you're barred permanently!" The guy says "OK, understood " and sits at the bar, with the monkey on the barstool next to him. The monkey is very quiet and sits there, barely moving. After a while the monkey reaches onto the bar and carefully takes an olive from a bowl there, puts it up it's arse and then eats it. The barman goes ballistic! "Did you see what your monkey just did? It took an olive, stuck it up its arse and then ate it!" The guy says" Yeah, I'm sorry about that, but since the incident with the ball off the pool table he checks the size of anything before he eats it now!" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swagman Posted April 1, 2022 Share Posted April 1, 2022 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tango Posted April 1, 2022 Share Posted April 1, 2022 Two friends are having a nice round of golf, when one of them hacks his ball into the long grass next to a water trap. He's hunting through the long grass, backwards and forwards, when he eventually finds his ball, next to a frog. He reached down to move the frog, but the frog suddenly says "kiss me and I'll turn into a beautiful princess!" The guy steps back, "What?!!" The frog says "kiss me and I'll turn into a beautiful princess and we can get married and have lots of children and live in a big castle, happily ever after" The guy reaches down, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. His friend, who had come over to help look for the ball, says "didn't you hear what that frog said?" "It said that if you kiss it, it'll turn into a beautiful princess and you could get married and have lots of kids and live in a big castle, happily ever after!" The guy shrugged and lined up to take his shot "Well?" Said his mate, "don't you want all that?" The guy says "nah, I'd rather have a talking frog!" 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swagman Posted April 2, 2022 Share Posted April 2, 2022 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted April 2, 2022 Share Posted April 2, 2022 1 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTreme Posted April 2, 2022 Share Posted April 2, 2022 Â 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTreme Posted April 2, 2022 Share Posted April 2, 2022 13 minutes ago, Mawsley said: Funnily, this is almost how I pictured him dying…only with a child prostitute Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted April 2, 2022 Share Posted April 2, 2022 20 minutes ago, Mawsley said: Funnily, this is almost how I pictured him dying…only with a child prostitute  7 minutes ago, XTreme said: Fake news.....            i got better 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted April 3, 2022 Share Posted April 3, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTreme Posted April 3, 2022 Share Posted April 3, 2022 Deported from Mexico yesterday..........then arrested when he got off the plane in Manchester today! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTreme Posted April 3, 2022 Share Posted April 3, 2022 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swagman Posted April 4, 2022 Share Posted April 4, 2022 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTreme Posted April 4, 2022 Share Posted April 4, 2022 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tango Posted April 4, 2022 Share Posted April 4, 2022 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tango Posted April 4, 2022 Share Posted April 4, 2022 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tango Posted April 4, 2022 Share Posted April 4, 2022 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tango Posted April 4, 2022 Share Posted April 4, 2022 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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