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Slowlycatchymonkey

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Mr. Slowly walks into a bar, the barman asks him what he would like. He replies “just a beer”. 
The barman says “why are you looking so down?”

Mr. Slowly replies “well me and the wife had an argument and she said she wouldn’t talk to me for a month”

The barman says “so what’s so bad about that?”

Mr. Slowly replies “the month ends tonight.”

 

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Some nicknames that have been given to Glasgow characters by their friends and workmates:

Two Soups - his real name is Campbell Baxter.

Norrie Two Bunnets - the Glasgow taxi-driver who wears a wig under his cloth cap.

The Colostomy - the girlfriend of a married man (i.e. the wee bag on the side).

The Boomerang Kid - whenever anyone at work asks a question, he always replies: 'I'll get back to you on that. '

The Parachute - lets everyone down at the last minute.

Cashline - an experienced young lass who's open 24 hours a day.

Vaseline - his real name is Willie Burns.

Rembrandt - loves saying to colleagues: 'Let me put you in the picture...'

Bo Derek - a chap called Derek with terrible body odour.

Brewer's Droop - his real name is Willie Falls ..

The Genie - magically appears whenever anyone opens a bottle.

Dulux - his pals reckon he's only got one coat.

Soapy - washes his hands of any problems that crop up..

Captain Hook - continually late for work, it's believed he must be scared of the alarm clock.

The Yeti - always on the sick, there have been many unconfirmed sightings of this guy, but nobody can prove he actually exists.

The Gas Man - he's serviced loads of old boilers.

The Hostage - when anyone asks for help he always replies:

'Sorry, my hands are tied.

The Chernobyl Jannie - during the mid-Eighties this guy had a really bad complexion.

The Woodpecker - he's always tapping..

Mussolini - a woman in an office in Glasgow who has rather loose morals (aka the great dicktaker)

The Olympic Flame - He never goes oot

Cannae - architect called David cope who wasn't always great under pressure. "cannae cope"

Forty - sales director surname of watt and nickname because she was a bit dim.

1Tony Madge

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ON THIS DAY

10 years ago

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Saul Sandey

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