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Jokes, your best your worse and all the rubbish on the internet between


Slowlycatchymonkey

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1 hour ago, Tango said:

Bucks been on the sauce again!!

 

If I lived there I would be out there with a knife, one good stab to the bladder (of the the bagpipes) would solve that.

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A friday fun test.
This maths test can predict your favourite film. Not sure how it works but it does. 
Mine was Star Wars.
Pick a number between 1 and 9.
Multiply by 3.
Add 3 to that number.
Multiply by 3 again.
Add the 2 digits together.
Now discover your favourite film!
3. Oliver Twist.
4. Star Wars.
5. Forrest Gump.
6. Saving Private Ryan.
7. Jaws.
8. Grease.
9. The Joy of Anal Sex with Male Sheep & Oiled-Up Lady Boys.
10. Mary Poppins

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I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"
And then the fight started.....

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30 minutes ago, busabeast said:

IMG-20221127-WA0002.jpg.f4f83e0f7f9f14e02fa38fabefa7cb37.jpg

 

And they say its healthy for you.......

 

That shit is not going anywhere near my mouth 

Not true though is it, here's the ingredients for 'Edwards' beef burgers

Beef (75%), Gluten Free Breadcrumbs (Rice Flour, Gram Flour, Maize Starch, Salt, Dextrose), Water, Caramelised Red Onion Chutney (5%) (Red Onion, Dark Muscavado Sugar, Red Wine Vinegar (Sodium Metabisulphite), Sunflower Oil, Cinnamon, Clove), Seasoning (Rice Flour, Salt, Dried Onion (Sulphite), Potassium Chloride, Dextrose, Preservetive (Sodium Sulphite), Yeast Extract, Acidity Regulator (Citric Acid), Dried Garlic, Natural Flavourings, Natural Colour (Carmine), Flavouring), Caramelised Red Onion (2%) (Red Onion, Dark Muscovado Sugar, Sunflower Oil), Rice Flour

 

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3 minutes ago, Slowlycatchymonkey said:

Not true though is it, here's the ingredients for 'Edwards' beef burgers

Beef (75%), Gluten Free Breadcrumbs (Rice Flour, Gram Flour, Maize Starch, Salt, Dextrose), Water, Caramelised Red Onion Chutney (5%) (Red Onion, Dark Muscavado Sugar, Red Wine Vinegar (Sodium Metabisulphite), Sunflower Oil, Cinnamon, Clove), Seasoning (Rice Flour, Salt, Dried Onion (Sulphite), Potassium Chloride, Dextrose, Preservetive (Sodium Sulphite), Yeast Extract, Acidity Regulator (Citric Acid), Dried Garlic, Natural Flavourings, Natural Colour (Carmine), Flavouring), Caramelised Red Onion (2%) (Red Onion, Dark Muscovado Sugar, Sunflower Oil), Rice Flour

 

Don’t know who Edward is, but I buy burguers from Sérgio and there is only beef and bacon on his burguers!

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4 minutes ago, Pedro said:

Don’t know who Edward is, but I buy burguers from Sérgio and there is only beef and bacon on his burguers!

Unlikely Pedro, even if he skipped the crumb part which is what retains the juices in the burger the bacon will have been made with nitrites or sulphites or metabisulphites.

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