Slowlycatchymonkey Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 I favour kill him dead and get away with it but that last parts a bit tricky.. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckster Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 I know a number of different ways of getting rid of a body. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slowlycatchymonkey Posted June 7, 2021 Author Share Posted June 7, 2021 Chillingly I thought as I was posting that “I bet Buckster has a few ideas” 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckster Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 5 minutes ago, Slowlycatchymonkey said: Chillingly I thought as I was posting that “I bet Buckster has a few ideas” I was just putting it out there, I assure you they are tried and tested methods. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slowlycatchymonkey Posted June 7, 2021 Author Share Posted June 7, 2021 2 minutes ago, Buckster said: I was just putting it out there, I assure you they are tried and tested methods. Let’s hear your favoured method then, or maybe your second favourite, you probably dont want your most used on a public forum, the police might put two and two together.. and still come up with seven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckster Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 24 minutes ago, Slowlycatchymonkey said: Let’s hear your favoured method then, or maybe your second favourite, you probably dont want your most used on a public forum, the police might put two and two together.. and still come up with seven. A shallow grave in woodland, one shovel of quicklime spread evenly over the corpse, it is down to a skeleton within ten days and a few small bones after 4 months. Now if you want to be creative, a commercial bone grinding machine only costs about £300 used, cut the body into small chunks, separated at the joints, then grind it up with strong bleach as this will destabilise dna, any metal implants can be removed and smelted down, given that you now have access to them, wash it all down a drain. Then the old favourite, get a metal locker, drill a few holes in it, stuff the body into it and sink it in a large body of water, all sorts of critters will do the job for you. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slowlycatchymonkey Posted June 7, 2021 Author Share Posted June 7, 2021 Creative. I like it. I’m always wary of any body dismemberment at any scene you can be connected to though, DNA’s a sneaky bugger, one little hair, one missed blood spot before the bleach.. and the smelting of metal parts? Its a bit involved for a non smelter. The locker ideas a goer though, sinking stuff in waters always been a winner, so long as its well weighted down, floaty little bloaters that we are. I understand the M5 was very popular with the Krays, a lot of cement went down. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yen_powell Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 1 hour ago, Buckster said: I know a number of different ways of getting rid of a body. I had a mate who used to say if he had to get rid of a body he would wait till the council dug a grave for a funeral next day then bury the body in it at night and tamp down the earth at the bottom. Then next day a nice coffin would be lowered on top of it at the funeral proper and hide his body for him. You'd need a ladder, some rope, a shovel, a head torch and a flask so you could have a little cup of tea half way through. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckster Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 7 minutes ago, yen_powell said: I had a mate who used to say if he had to get rid of a body he would wait till the council dug a grave for a funeral next day then bury the body in it at night and tamp down the earth at the bottom. Then next day a nice coffin would be lowered on top of it at the funeral proper and hide his body for him. You'd need a ladder, some rope, a shovel, a head torch and a flask so you could have a little cup of tea half way through. You need to take the excess soil away with you as well. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pedro Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 3 minutes ago, Buckster said: You need to take the excess soil away with you as well. Just water it down and it'll compact enough to compensate for the body's mass. Then plaster it on top of the body. All it'll do is give the worms a couple extra days to get to it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slowlycatchymonkey Posted June 7, 2021 Author Share Posted June 7, 2021 Dead bodies (human and animal) have a lot of air in em so you’d have to do a lot of jumping up and down on it to break the rib cage etc and release the gases otherwise the spot just sinks down as the gases escape. Best return a few days later with some of that spare soil to level things up again I reckon. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckster Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 2 minutes ago, Slowlycatchymonkey said: Dead bodies (human and animal) have a lot of air in em so you’d have to do a lot of jumping up and down on it to break the rib cage etc and release the gases otherwise the spot just sinks down as the gases escape. Best return a few days later with some of that spare soil to level things up again I reckon. That’s why you give the corpse a good stabbing, with a garden fork preferably rather than a penis. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pedro Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 5 minutes ago, Buckster said: That’s why you give the corpse a good stabbing, with a garden fork preferably rather than a penis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grasshopper Posted June 7, 2021 Share Posted June 7, 2021 39 minutes ago, Slowlycatchymonkey said: Dead bodies (human and animal) have a lot of air in em so you’d have to do a lot of jumping up and down on it to break the rib cage etc and release the gases otherwise the spot just sinks down as the gases escape. Best return a few days later with some of that spare soil to level things up again I reckon. Everyone is over thinking this dead body stuff....just get a few pigs.....all done! Then sell the nice fat pigs for a profit..... 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckster Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 8 hours ago, Grasshopper's Ride said: Everyone is over thinking this dead body stuff....just get a few pigs.....all done! Then sell the nice fat pigs for a profit..... Problem is you need about 40 to take down an adult corpse and there is still usable evidence when it comes back out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busabeast Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 8 hours ago, Grasshopper's Ride said: Everyone is over thinking this dead body stuff....just get a few pigs.....all done! Then sell the nice fat pigs for a profit..... I didn't know we had brick top in our midst 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slowlycatchymonkey Posted June 8, 2021 Author Share Posted June 8, 2021 37 minutes ago, Buckster said: Problem is you need about 40 to take down an adult corpse and there is still usable evidence when it comes back out. My thoughts exactly. Wild campings “Leave no trace” would be best. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slowlycatchymonkey Posted June 8, 2021 Author Share Posted June 8, 2021 9 hours ago, Grasshopper's Ride said: Everyone is over thinking this dead body stuff....just get a few pigs.....all done! Then sell the nice fat pigs for a profit..... On the farm Id consider a slurry tank. A tank filled with 100s of thousands of gallons of fermenting effluent, granted the body would never be completely gone but no-one would ever get in there, the methane alone would knock out any nosey Parker’s. If they found the body thats exactly what happened, overwhelmed by fumes they simply fell in.. it happens. Maybe @Richzx6r should take his neighbours for trip to the farm? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckster Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 I've been told but have not tried this. Basically a pit barbecue made up of charcoal and peat will burn for 24 hours and completely destroy everything including teeth and metalwork. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckster Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 2 minutes ago, Slowlycatchymonkey said: On the farm Id consider a slurry tank. A tank filled with 100s of thousands of gallons of fermenting effluent, granted the body would never be completely gone but no-one would ever get in there, the methane alone would knock out any nosey Parker’s. If they found the body thats exactly what happened, overwhelmed by fumes they simply fell in.. it happens. Maybe @Richzx6r should take his neighbours for trip to the farm? Six calls that a spa. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTreme Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 As corpse disposal seems to be a popular subject I've moved it into a new thread! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swagman Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 5 minutes ago, XTreme said: As corpse disposal seems to be a popular subject I've moved it into a new thread! Does it have to be a corpse, I’d much rather it was alive when put into the slurry pit, be nice to see him gasping for a last intake of breath. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTreme Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 Just now, Swagman said: Does it have to be a corpse, I’d much rather it was alive when put into the slurry pit, be nice to see him gasping for a last intake of breath. So how are things with your neighbour these days? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swagman Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 16 minutes ago, XTreme said: So how are things with your neighbour these days? Terrible he’s still breathing. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grasshopper Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 2 hours ago, XTreme said: As corpse disposal seems to be a popular subject I've moved it into a new thread! This sort of thread will bring in new members for sure..... They won't be any stranger then what we already have hanging out around here.... 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now