Your Funny Stories

[boboneleg]

Fred's tale has reminded me of a similar situation.

 

When I was about 15 I went to a concert in the local college, the band were called Sailor and they were quite good.  Anyway, you could drink alcohol and bravely I tried to keep up with the lads I was with (they were in their 20').  After the gig it was suggested we should go for a curry, I agreed immediately even though I'd never had a curry before .  I can remember going in but I have no idea what I ate and drank, what I can remember is being dragged out of the bog by Indian waiter's with my kecks around my ankles.

How I got home I have no idea as my 'mates' weren't around but it put me off curry for quite a while.  PS, I didn't spew as I rarely spew due to too much alcohol.

 

 

[boboneleg]

Boot story............

 

So when I had my accident in 2001 my leg was left hanging on by a piece of skin and my work boot was still attached to the leg.  Once I was out of intensive care and on the recovery ward I had a nice view of the incinerator chimney puffing away during the day.

One day I was looking out of the window when a nurse came in .  I asked her if that's the incinerator over there, she replied yes and asked me why I was asking.  I asked if that's where they burnt my leg, she looked at me slightly worried and replied , yes I suppose so ?  I said 'well that's a disgrace'  , she looked slightly shocked now and was almost scared to carry on the conversation but as nurses are trained so well she said  'why do you say that'   ?

I was trying not to laugh now but said with a straight face 'I had a brand new work boot on my leg, they could have given it back to me before they burnt it'  , she now looked very concerned but as  I grinned you could see the relief come back to her face.  She came over to me and said ' you wait till I've got to take your catheter out' , you won't be laughing then 

[yen_powell]

1 hour ago, boboneleg said:

Boot story............

 

So when I had my accident in 2001 my leg was left hanging on by a piece of skin and my work boot was still attached to the leg.  Once I was out of intensive care and on the recovery ward I had a nice view of the incinerator chimney puffing away during the day.

One day I was looking out of the window when a nurse came in .  I asked her if that's the incinerator over there, she replied yes and asked me why I was asking.  I asked if that's where they burnt my leg, she looked at me slightly worried and replied , yes I suppose so ?  I said 'well that's a disgrace'  , she looked slightly shocked now and was almost scared to carry on the conversation but as nurses are trained so well she said  'why do you say that'   ?

I was trying not to laugh now but said with a straight face 'I had a brand new work boot on my leg, they could have given it back to me before they burnt it'  , she now looked very concerned but as  I grinned you could see the relief come back to her face.  She came over to me and said ' you wait till I've got to take your catheter out' , you won't be laughing then 

I always had the feeling that when a nurse took my catheter out we are officially engaged. The old 'I'm going to count to three' routine (but pull on two).

[Sir Fallsalot]

Bucksters Jobie through the door reminded me of a story my dull mate told me about him and his twin brother when they were in their late teens, i don't think I've mentioned it here before but worth repeating if i have.

They were in a night club in town and had been chatting to a couple of girls as you do, He said they were getting on great when the one his brother was chatting to started giving him some verbal and pissing him off. His brother said he had to go to the toilet keep the girls here until i get back, a few minutes after he got back his brother said we have to go, he said he didn't want to leave because he was getting somewhere with his girl but his brother insisted they left so after a little argument they left. When they got outside he asked whats his problem, nothing he said but when i went to the toilet i caught a turd in some toilet paper and slipped it into the girls handbag that was pissing him off 

[Buckster]

I have some funny stories but I feel that you lot may not see them that way.

[boboneleg]

3 minutes ago, Buckster said:

I have some funny stories but I feel that you lot may not see them that way.

Oh come on ya big lump, spill the beans .................

[Buckster]

4 minutes ago, boboneleg said:

Oh come on ya big lump, spill the beans .................

Nah, a lot of them involve death and dismemberment and I'm pretty sure more than one could get me arrested.

[boboneleg]

3 minutes ago, Buckster said:

Nah, a lot of them involve death and dismemberment and I'm pretty sure more than one could get me arrested.

Spoilsport

[Six30]

21 minutes ago, Buckster said:

I have some funny stories but I feel that you lot may not see them that way.

no we wouldn't ... those poor children

[Six30]

13 minutes ago, Buckster said:

Nah, a lot of them involve death and dismemberment and I'm pretty sure more than one could get me arrested.

the Madeleine MCcann  one ?

[Clive]

On 23/05/2022 at 13:04, boboneleg said:

Boot story............

 

So when I had my accident in 2001 my leg was left hanging on by a piece of skin 

Your story reminds me of that woman on 24 hours in A&E programme that was shown recently.

Always said running was not good for you. 

[Buckster]

When I had my big accident, the attending in A&E remarked that it looked like I had a bad break as my left foot was 90° to my knee. They cut my trousers and boot off and he went pale and passed out. The nurse then told me my leg was twisted 270° and bits of bone were sticking out but the good news was my ankle looked okay.