Embarrassing Bike Related Incidents

[XTreme]

1 hour ago, Catteeclan said:

the front tyre never got to grip the road

Things could have been different if you'd been on part worn DeathWings!

[XTreme]

I got too many to individually recount from the years 71-73......around 20+ unscheduled dismounts.

I hit Slaughter House gates, garage doors, backs of cars, sides of cars, even went under cars.

Went through Indian restaurant windows and landed on tables, hit traffic light poles, trees, barriers, and of course there multiple wheelies that went wrong! I came off the back, off the side, and even over the bars. I wanted to cover all the bases.

I was truly the Dave Croxford of street riding!

Crox raced from 1962 to 1976, crashing no less than 223 times, without breaking a single bone, at a time when Armco was everywhere and body armour was something you found in the Tower of London. No wonder fans called him Rubber Bones.

Many of Croxford’s tumbles were comedy events, in retrospect, at least. “I crashed at Brands while battling with Bazza (Sheene)… I was sliding along on my arse waving at him, and he was waving back.” Or his only TT crash, “This bloody great big pig comes out and it’s running alongside me…”.

Such were the stresses of racing that Crockers sometimes prepared himself for action with a swift one or two in the paddock bar. “You’d have a couple of pints of Guinness and go out. You could do that in them days, it was real good fun!”

[busabeast]

5 minutes ago, XTreme said:

I got too many to individually recount from the years 71-73......around 20+ unscheduled dismounts.

I hit Slaughter House gates, garage doors, backs of cars, sides of cars, even went under cars.

Went through Indian restaurant windows and landed on tables, hit traffic light poles, trees, barriers, and of course there multiple wheelies that went wrong! I came off the back, off the side, and even over the bars. I wanted to cover all the bases.

I was truly the Dave Croxford of street riding!

Crox raced from 1962 to 1976, crashing no less than 223 times, without breaking a single bone, at a time when Armco was everywhere and body armour was something you found in the Tower of London. No wonder fans called him Rubber Bones.

Many of Croxford’s tumbles were comedy events, in retrospect, at least. “I crashed at Brands while battling with Bazza (Sheene)… I was sliding along on my arse waving at him, and he was waving back.” Or his only TT crash, “This bloody great big pig comes out and it’s running alongside me…”.

Such were the stresses of racing that Crockers sometimes prepared himself for action with a swift one or two in the paddock bar. “You’d have a couple of pints of Guinness and go out. You could do that in them days, it was real good fun!”

I can only recall having 7 unscheduled discounts in my 18 years on bikes and 2 crashes in a car both just small bumps 

[XTreme]

4 hours ago, Richzx6r said:

I can only recall having 7 unscheduled discounts in my 18 years on bikes and 2 crashes in a car both just small bumps 

All mine were 71-73 except for the big one in Feb 1978 when I got thrown off a GT750 at 110 with a tank slapper.

Got up and walked away from that as well.......all I've ever had is a few scrapes!

My Guardian Angel has looked after me!

[Pedro]

I never fell off a bike, and have no plans to do otherwise 

 

Off tarmac doesn't count, obviously...

[yen_powell]

My mate rebuilt an old Triumph in his flat's single bedroom. When he moved to a house with a very old very small prefab garage he put his Jaguar in the garage and that stuck out the front so the doors were at 45 degrees open.

The Triumph had turned out to be too big to get round the corners of his flat and stair landings so we had just removed the entire front end, forks, handlebar and front wheel all in one piece and taken it down the stairs in two parts. The front end he carefully propped up in his new front porch against the side window. The first time he opened the front door of the porch with a bit of gusto he pushed the handlebar grip right through the glass of the side window. He put the bike back together and stuck it in his kitchen to keep it safe.

That bloke's wife was a bloody saint!!

[XTreme]

7 minutes ago, yen_powell said:

My mate rebuilt an old Triumph in his flat's single bedroom. When he moved to a house with a very old very small prefab garage he put his Jaguar in the garage and that stuck out the front so the doors were at 45 degrees open.

The Triumph had turned out to be too big to get round the corners of his flat and stair landings so we had just removed the entire front end, forks, handlebar and front wheel all in one piece and taken it down the stairs in two parts. The front end he carefully propped up in his new front porch against the side window. The first time he opened the front door of the porch with a bit of gusto he pushed the handlebar grip right through the glass of the side window. He put the bike back together and stuck it in his kitchen to keep it safe.

That bloke's wife was a bloody saint!!

I put the handlebar of my DT400 right through the bedroom window in 1977.......we were living with the first wife in a grotty one bed ground floor flat then.

She wasn't happy.......but then, she never was happy.

Maybe that's why she threw all my clothes and possessions up the driveway 5 years later.

Some females never take being given the red card in a sporting manner. 

[XTreme]

9 minutes ago, Mawsley said:

Not really embarrassing at all, this one.

Having bought a Jeep in Caracas, I really fancied two wheels to go in the other parking space under the apartment block. News came through that a mad, drunk French diplomat-type chap was getting shot of his R90S.

$2000 and a rapid test ride around a posh area of the city later, I owned my first and last BMW. No panniers or box, no baffles, and the seat stayed on thanks to a large dose of good will, it was awesome. He even threw in a vintage crash helmet that inspired Boris Johnson levels of confidence.

Who needs a helmet anyway? Not me. This was Caracas for fucks sake. Chavez was in charge, corruption was rife, and my driving test involved paying a little fat man $20 and a bottle of whiskey. Fuck helmets.

The sun shone, the shorts were on, off I road around the city wearing a T-shirt and a fat shit-eating grin.

Parking up at the "Largest shopping centre in South America [tm]", I nodded at the lads standing by their 125s. They nodded back in an odd way. I only realised what their head movements meant when two gun-totting paramilitary rozzers demanded to know "What the actual fuck do you think you're doing?" - in Spanish, naturally.

"Lo siento," I replied, "jo no como eh-spag-nol."

I gambled the best way forward was to feign complete ignorance of everything.

A tortuous exchange then took place with me speaking Spanish in the way Officer Crabtree speaks French in Allo Allo. It was, from my perspective, equally funny. They didn't get the joke quite so much.

At this point the security guard from the shopping centre came over. He was convinced he could act as translator despite not knowing a single word of English. The cops spoke to him. He then looked at me, repeated exactly what they had said to him (that I fully understood), but VERY LOUDLY. I then repeated my version of gibberish at him. After five minutes, he told them he reckoned I had a problem with my head.

Having convinced them I had "mon documentoes" in "mon house-o", pointing vaguely at some houses on a hillside in a far distance, they realised they had better things to do. I was ordered to go straight home and never ride again without a lid and documents. I bade them a good night and wished them to "via con dias".

The 125 lads looked on amazed. I reckon they were deeply impressed and learnt a lesson in how to talk to the fuzz.

I can't prove that these two coppers were part of the group that carried out a drug bust in the bar I was in around 6 months later...but I'm betting they were. I was having a nice rum in a very low-rent and dangerous barrio bar when they bust in. The nice chaps I was chatting with were in the process of exchanging a fucking huge package of white powder for a stupidly large bag of money. Being foreign, it was naturally assumed that I was part of this wonderful example of free markets in action. I spent 12 hours having the shit kicked out of me in a basement by masked cops who were not as accommodating towards my protestations of not being able to eat Spanish. Neither my wife nor my employer were particularly impressed when I surfaced.

Dan Walsh made a career out of doing that shit!

[busabeast]

4 minutes ago, Mawsley said:

I've many other similar stories, but none that involve bikes - especially from when we lived in Colombia. Dealers, exporters, sicarios, los guerrilleros - insanely mad but brilliant times

Well spill the fucking beans man let's hear it

[busabeast]

1 hour ago, Mawsley said:

Buy my book 

[Sir Fallsalot]

Back in the late 80's i had a VFR750 and was having a few problems with it cutting out at random times but it would always get going again, after spending a lot of time trying to find the fault i came to the conclusion it was the CDI but wasn't wiling to spend money i didn't have on something i wasn't 100%sure about so carried on riding it.
Anyhow i was riding down to ogmore when the thing cut out but this time it wouldn't restart. so ended up walking miles to a payphone to phone my mate who then had to hire a van off someone he knew to come and get me. The next day after getting it home i tried to start it but it still didn't want to know so started to strip it down, when i went to remove the tank i though hold on this is light, no it cant be  i put it back on turned the fuel tap to reserve and the fucking thing fired up my mate then told every fucker

 

[Catteeclan]

Revving my brothers RD400 at the traffic lights on the high street, couple of girls sitting on a bench infront of the library watching and me trying to impress.
Lights change and I kick the bike forward and bang, forgot to put it in gear.

[Specs]

Hedge.

 

[XTreme]

37 minutes ago, Specs said:

Hedge.

 

And the GS was on the deck a year or two ago wasn't it Alan? I can remember a photo!

[Tango]

Here's one that I bet none of you have ever done? 

When I had my Bonneville one of my mates needed a lift to work, which was a fair bit out of my way. Anyway, I picked him up and we set off onto a short stretch of motorway. The bike started spluttering, so I went to switch it onto reserve........bollocks!! Yep, it was already switched to reserve, I'd forgotten to put it back onto main when I refuelled the last time! Still, we had a nice walk to try to find a filling station and a can to put some fuel in!

[Slowlycatchymonkey]

Im pretty sure Ive just done the most embarrassingly idiotic thing Ive ever done.. on a bike anyway  

What a plonker

[Specs]

On 24/11/2021 at 19:09, XTreme said:

And the GS was on the deck a year or two ago wasn't it Alan? I can remember a photo!

That was up again in no time!

[boboneleg]

That gravel looks pretty deep as well, I bet that took a bit of huffing and puffing to get it out .

[Pedro]

That gravel is meant to stop a truck with no brakes 

[Buckster]

1 hour ago, Pedro said:

That gravel is meant to stop a truck with no brakes 

Bob could have used that a few years back.

[Skippy]

On 23/11/2021 at 20:45, boboneleg said:

I had been into Fowler's in Bristol get some parts, I came back out to my KTM 950 and there were loads of people in the car park.  I rode off and dropped it straightaway as I forgot to  take the lock off the front wheel . There was much sniggering and plenty of this ................

 

 

 

Did the same in the underground works car park. Forgot to take the disc lock off the front and went down like a sack of shit. Immediately jumped up, picked the bike up and made sure nobody had seen it.

Went to work the next day and didn’t say a word. Didn’t need to as most people had seen it courtesy of the cctv operator. Didn’t know there was cctv in the car park.

[Sir Fallsalot]

Ok Bob will have to fill in the exact location of this one, All i know is It was in 2011 and on a ride through the french/Italian alps with Bob and the rest of the moobs, we had spent a night or two in a small village a great place and real friendly people, when we were leaving it seamed like the whole village had turned up to see us off, as they were waving goodbye it felt like when you see those old films of loved ones being waved off to war on a train station and Freddy boy here pulled off so proudly on his Africa Twin and then ripped the pannier off his bike on a bollard, I turned around to see the horror on everyone's faces but within seconds the attention was off me as Steve pulled off on his KTM and cold stalled stopping dead and falling off, in this commotion i slammed the pannier back on and made a sharp exit, it was like a scene from laurel and hardy 

[Pedro]

13 hours ago, Sir Fallsalot said:

Ok Bob will have to fill in the exact location of this one, All i know is It was in 2011 and on a ride through the french/Italian alps with Bob and the rest of the moobs, we had spent a night or two in a small village a great place and real friendly people, when we were leaving it seamed like the whole village had turned up to see us off, as they were waving goodbye it felt like when you see those old films of loved ones being waved off to war on a train station and Freddy boy here pulled off so proudly on his Africa Twin and then ripped the pannier off his bike on a bollard, I turned around to see the horror on everyone's faces but within seconds the attention was off me as Steve pulled off on his KTM and cold stalled stopping dead and falling off, in this commotion i slammed the pannier back on and made a sharp exit, it was like a scene from laurel and hardy 

Were they really waving goodbye to you or just gathering to see the show?  

[boboneleg]

14 hours ago, Sir Fallsalot said:

Ok Bob will have to fill in the exact location of this one, All i know is It was in 2011 and on a ride through the french/Italian alps with Bob and the rest of the moobs, we had spent a night or two in a small village a great place and real friendly people, when we were leaving it seamed like the whole village had turned up to see us off, as they were waving goodbye it felt like when you see those old films of loved ones being waved off to war on a train station and Freddy boy here pulled off so proudly on his Africa Twin and then ripped the pannier off his bike on a bollard, I turned around to see the horror on everyone's faces but within seconds the attention was off me as Steve pulled off on his KTM and cold stalled stopping dead and falling off, in this commotion i slammed the pannier back on and made a sharp exit, it was like a scene from laurel and hardy 

Ah yes  !!  the 'La Brigue'  incident, we'll never be able to show our faces in that village again

[boboneleg]

23 minutes ago, Pedro said:

Were they really waving goodbye to you or just gathering to see the show?  

They knew that we were probably all still pissed from the night before so they knew that there might be some entertainment