Your Plate.

[Marcel le Moose Fondler]

17 minutes ago, Pedro said:

He probably has, Marcel. You can never tell over the internet.

God only knows I've been played that trick on a few occasions... Sick bastards... 

    Well if you really have a vigina Buck... Who knows maybe we could work something out... I might have to stick a bag over your head.. If you got the lady's parts.... Why not.. 

[Buckster]

8 minutes ago, Marcel said:

God only knows I've been played that trick on a few occasions... Sick bastards... 

    Well if you really have a vigina Buck... Who knows maybe we could work something out... I might have to stick a bag over your head.. If you got the lady's parts.... Why not.. 

I haven’t got lady parts, I just don’t feel the need to reach past my ball sack to examine myself, if you want to finger yourself in the arse while looking at pictures of Pete’s mange, then that’s your business and no one else needs to know.

[Marcel le Moose Fondler]

1 minute ago, Buckster said:

I haven’t got lady parts, I just don’t feel the need to reach past my ball sack to examine myself, if you want to finger yourself in the arse while looking at pictures of Pete’s mange, then that’s your business and no one else needs to know.

OK ok calm down.. I hurt your feelings I see.... 

   And a warning to you twats... Better not pull some fake user account pretending your a woman... I'm internet smart now... 

[Buckster]

1 minute ago, Marcel said:

OK ok calm down.. I hurt your feelings I see.... 

   And a warning to you twats... Better not pull some fake user account pretending your a woman... I'm internet smart now... 

who would pull such a mean trick?

[Marcel le Moose Fondler]

58 minutes ago, Buckster said:

who would pull such a mean trick?

I see the pressure of loosing your titles is catching up to you... Don't worry I'm still your friend and after the titles return to it's wrighfull owner I promise to take it easy on you. 

[Pedro]

2 hours ago, Slowlycatchymonkey said:

Please post away, Im all ears. 

So, this is one of the most delicious summery things you can have in Portugal. It's very similar to what they do in Italy except I prefer our version with coriander instead of parsley and no pasta.

You can get fresh safe local clams in most Algarve markets, and these are delicious. They go from 10 to 15€/kilo in low season to a quick 25 to 35€ in high season, seasons change overnight apparently which annoys me deeply. Regardless, clams feed by filtration and get contaminated with whatever toxins are around at the time they're caught, this demands that they're caught when they should and where it's safe, which is why sometimes foreign smaller clams from vietnam or other places are safer, you're sacrificing a little flavor for safety though, plus they're way cheaper, usually less than half price.

After getting your clams home you'll let them rest for a few hours in sea water, a good quality market will provide you with 5 or 10lt of sea water no problem, this is important because you will let them rest and breathe in that water to let out all the sand they're carrying inside. If you can't get sea water, use tap water and salt it, make it taste like the ocean and you should be ok, if it's got too little salt or too much you'll kill the clams and they're no good. It's important they get plenty of water though, I like to buy them after lunch and leave them be in cold water until dinner(add a couple of ice cubes if you're in a proper hot place). After a while inside the water, pick out the ones that are closed because they're dead. Before cooking drain out and rinse under the tap, if any are left open after rinsing, take them out because they're dead.

Get a few garlic cloves, easily 5 to 8 nice fat fresh ones, smash them and slice them. I like to add half the garlic smashed and sliced, and half just smashed but almost whole. Get a fresh coriander bunch, and finely shop the stalks, and roughly shop the leaves. A lot of olive oil to cover the bottom of a pan and while cold put the garlic and coriander in. Resist adding butter, this is meant to taste like the ocean. Start at low to medium heat and simmer everything, before the garlic turns golden (you want cooked but soft fragrant white garlic) add the clams and close the lid. Let heat build for a moment, like a minute or so, and add a couple of glasses of nice room temperature white wine. Give it a few twirls and close the lid between them, it'll cook quickly, uncover and serve as soon as all clams are open. Don't let the clams cook a lot after they're open, they will become overcooked and rubbery shit. 

 

Serve with a nice quality heavy bread, Algarve and Alentejo bread is amazing for this, but a nice white sourdough ought to be nice. Toast it golden as you'll use it to soak up the delicious garlicky sauce. This is where you can use butter if you want to, by toasting the bread already buttered, it'll be more decadent, but give it a try without butter first, I promise it's delicious. Squeeze a little bit of lemon over right before eating, if you like, I do.

For wine, you want a nice mineral citric sharp white for a classy meal. You can go rose if you want to have a lighter meal or are british, but don't cook with the rose. 

 

Top picture is Algarve clams, bigger and rougher, second picture is Vietnamese clams, smaller and smoother but way cheaper. Both delicious.

 

[Buckster]

[Marcel le Moose Fondler]

4 minutes ago, Pedro said:

So, this is one of the most delicious summery things you can have in Portugal. It's very similar to what they do in Italy except I prefer our version with coriander instead of parsley and no pasta.

You can get fresh safe local clams in most Algarve markets, and these are delicious. They go from 10 to 15€/kilo in low season to a quick 25 to 35€ in high season, seasons change overnight apparently which annoys me deeply. Regardless, clams feed by filtration and get contaminated with whatever toxins are around at the time they're caught, this demands that they're caught when they should and where it's safe, which is why sometimes foreign smaller clams from vietnam or other places are safer, you're sacrificing a little flavor for safety though, plus they're way cheaper, usually less than half price.

After getting your clams home you'll let them rest for a few hours in sea water, a good quality market will provide you with 5 or 10lt of sea water no problem, this is important because you will let them rest and breathe in that water to let out all the sand they're carrying inside. If you can't get sea water, use tap water and salt it, make it taste like the ocean and you should be ok, if it's got too little salt or too much you'll kill the clams and they're no good. It's important they get plenty of water though, I like to buy them after lunch and leave them be in cold water until dinner(add a couple of ice cubes if you're in a proper hot place). After a while inside the water, pick out the ones that are closed because they're dead. Before cooking drain out and rinse under the tap, if any are left open after rinsing, take them out because they're dead.

Get a few garlic cloves, easily 5 to 8 nice fat fresh ones, smash them and slice them. I like to add half the garlic smashed and sliced, and half just smashed but almost whole. Get a fresh coriander bunch, and finely shop the stalks, and roughly shop the leaves. A lot of olive oil to cover the bottom of a pan and while cold put the garlic and coriander in. Resist adding butter, this is meant to taste like the ocean. Start at low to medium heat and simmer everything, before the garlic turns golden (you want cooked but soft fragrant white garlic) add the clams and close the lid. Let heat build for a moment, like a minute or so, and add a couple of glasses of nice room temperature white wine. Give it a few twirls and close the lid between them, it'll cook quickly, uncover and serve as soon as all clams are open. Don't let the clams cook a lot after they're open, they will become overcooked and rubbery shit. 

 

Serve with a nice quality heavy bread, Algarve and Alentejo bread is amazing for this, but a nice white sourdough ought to be nice. Toast it golden as you'll use it to soak up the delicious garlicky sauce. This is where you can use butter if you want to, by toasting the bread already buttered, it'll be more decadent, but give it a try without butter first, I promise it's delicious. Squeeze a little bit of lemon over right before eating, if you like, I do.

For wine, you want a nice mineral citric sharp white for a classy meal. You can go rose if you want to have a lighter meal or are british, but don't cook with the rose. 

 

Top picture is Algarve clams, bigger and rougher, second picture is Vietnamese clams, smaller and smoother but way cheaper. Both delicious.

 

Holyshit that's alot of reading.... But the clams do look go.. 

[Slowlycatchymonkey]

Excellent @Pedro

Always nice to hear someone taking love n care over their dish. 

Agree coriander is preferable to parsley, parsley can have a soapy edge to it that drowns out other flavours.

Your recipe is quite a common restaurant dish over here but it’s always with mussels, shame we mostly miss out on clams and other molluscs. 
 
It wouldn’t have crossed my mind to leave them in salt water. In the UK depuration automatically happens, you’d struggle to buy shellfish with any extras lurking but now you mention it I had noticed in Spain the prawns intestines are large and full. I have to pay quite a premium for ones that are clean.
When I get back to Spain I’ll definitely be enjoying some clams. 

Thats made me hungry. 
 

[Pedro]

3 minutes ago, Slowlycatchymonkey said:

Excellent @Pedro

Always nice to hear someone taking love n care over their dish. 

Agree coriander is preferable to parsley, parsley can have a soapy edge to it that drowns out other flavours.

Your recipe is quite a common restaurant dish over here but it’s always with mussels, shame we mostly miss out on clams and other molluscs. 
 
It wouldn’t have crossed my mind to leave them in salt water. In the UK depuration automatically happens, you’d struggle to buy shellfish with any extras lurking but now you mention it I had noticed in Spain the prawns intestines are large and full. I have to pay quite a premium for ones that are clean.
When I get back to Spain I’ll definitely be enjoying some clams. 

Thats made me hungry. 
 

Don't know if you have them in Spain since you live in the mediterranean, but one of my favourite things to eat in the Algarve is "Conquilhas", it's a sort of tiny clam that's about the size of a big bean, don't know what they're called in english or castellano. Seen as more of a poor people's shellfish, hey're cheaper to buy but delicious when cooked the same way. You'll get a proper summery meal for way less money than rare expensive clams.

This is what they look like.

 

 

I prefer to buy complete prawns when I do get them. They're easy to clean and you get a better assurance that they're fresh, also the skins and stuff like that are what really flavors your final dish.

[Slowlycatchymonkey]

1 minute ago, Pedro said:

Don't know if you have them in Spain since you live in the mediterranean, but one of my favourite things to eat in the Algarve is "Conquilhas", it's a sort of tiny clam that's about the size of a big bean, don't know what they're called in english or castellano. Seen as more of a poor people's shellfish, hey're cheaper to buy but delicious when cooked the same way. You'll get a proper summery meal for way less money than rare expensive clams.

This is what they look like.

 

 

I prefer to buy complete prawns when I do get them. They're easy to clean and you get a better assurance that they're fresh, also the skins and stuff like that are what really flavors your final dish.

Goddam it Pedro you’re making me miss Spain a lot!

Thats definitely going on my hit list. 
 

Now I’ve got to go and get something to eat

[XTreme]

Making me feel like puking again.

[Buckster]

9 minutes ago, Pedro said:

Don't know if you have them in Spain since you live in the mediterranean, but one of my favourite things to eat in the Algarve is "Conquilhas", it's a sort of tiny clam that's about the size of a big bean, don't know what they're called in english or castellano. Seen as more of a poor people's shellfish, hey're cheaper to buy but delicious when cooked the same way. You'll get a proper summery meal for way less money than rare expensive clams.

This is what they look like.

 

 

I prefer to buy complete prawns when I do get them. They're easy to clean and you get a better assurance that they're fresh, also the skins and stuff like that are what really flavors your final dish.

They actually look good.

[Buckster]

2 minutes ago, XTreme said:

Making me feel like puking again.

You need a nice big bowl of cuttlefish eggs and spaniel brains, that will sort you right out. If you lucky you will get the cooked version as well.

[Marcel le Moose Fondler]

3 minutes ago, XTreme said:

Making me feel like puking again.

If you would eat more product for the sea.. I'm not talking about polluted waters maybe your amune system would get a boost... Im a living example... 

[MooN]

I just had possible the best curry I've ever had in France

 

HAD, being the operative word

[boboneleg]

It doesn't look like a very big plate, are you on rations

[Slowlycatchymonkey]

Full English this morning. Sausage, Egg, Bacon, Hash browns, Plum tomatoes, Mushrooms, Beans, Black pudding, White Pudding and toast (made with thick sliced tiger childrens bread Couldn't photograph anyone else's because they piled it so high it looked shocking. Everyones been in a food coma for over an hour now

[boboneleg]

Oooooooooh  you bugger.  I haven't had one of those for a good while now.  I'm loving all of that except the beans 

[Sir Fallsalot]

4 minutes ago, boboneleg said:

Oooooooooh  you bugger.  I haven't had one of those for a good while now.  I'm loving all of that except the beans 

Yes Except beans and tomatoes for me a slice of fried bread would be nice next time @Slowlycatchymonkey 

[Marcel le Moose Fondler]

5 minutes ago, boboneleg said:

Oooooooooh  you bugger.  I haven't had one of those for a good while now.  I'm loving all of that except the beans 

Just love homemade beans... And it's not because they make me fart.. Anyway my farts smells like fresh rose in bloom. 

[Slowlycatchymonkey]

They are homemade beans. I don't know what happened to Heinz, I think they removed too much salt and sugar and added water to make them healthy and ruined them in the process. I use a variety of beans, often haricot beans and always smoked paprika, garlic, and onion salt in mine (and sometimes diced chorizo), cook them long and slow the day before you want to eat them so the flavours fuse and the beans are properly cooked out. Most baked beans are barely cooked and they take a long time to do properly which is why they often taste a bit gack. My family also do not like normal beans but they love these. Technically they're hob beans not baked

[skyrider]

On 21/08/2022 at 12:37, Marcel said:

Just love homemade beans... And it's not because they make me fart.. Anyway my farts smells like fresh rose in bloom. 

or freshly mown grass

[Tym]

Justed tested a bag of rice i stored in 2008 in some fancy air tight container from the mormans in utah, worked great mum says the rice turned out perfect. 

 

Now just waiting to see if she dies faster then normal.

 

[Marcel le Moose Fondler]

44 minutes ago, Tym said:

Justed tested a bag of rice i stored in 2008 in some fancy air tight container from the mormans in utah, worked great mum says the rice turned out perfect. 

 

Now just waiting to see if she dies faster then normal.

 

You got a bag of rice from a moron? .. I wouldn't eat that shit..