Jump to content

Bad start to the day

Saul

By Saul
in GENERAL CHAT

 Share

Recommended Posts

Saul

Saul

Posted
Posted

I know I have said a little about it on here, but long story short my youngest 15 year old is having some mental health issues.  Without going into to much detail for her sake, if you google a thing called attachment disorder, much would become clear.  Anyway as an adopted child who came from a horribly chaotic background my  youngest has all the classical symptoms of it.  Her problems came to a head when she ran away from home, although she is much loved and happy normally.  Long story short again it has all been triggered by a string of bullying from kids in school and harsh treatment  by staff in school.  

Anyway I have been keeping her home from school to get her head straight and just take some emotional pressure from her shoulders.  Been trips to doctors, youth workers Cams contact and in the new year she will be seeing an educational psychologist.  

Following this the school is finally coming around to the point that she is not just a naughty child that needs punishment but one who needs help and a bit of care.    So today we take her back, on the proviso that we talk to the head of year before she goes in.  What a total cock he was, I have never wanted to deck someone so much in my life and not actually done it.  The first sentence out of his mouth was that on this one occasion he was not going to send her to the reset they had given her before I kept her home.  Just to be clear Reset, in that school, is when the kids are sent to a classroom and have to sit silent facing the wall working,  they are not allowed to speak even to ask the supervising member of staff for help with the work or use the toilet.    He is sitting behind them.   WTF sort of way is that to treat kids.  

I said that perhaps we should not be talking about punishment as my daughter, after much support and encouragement has found the courage to come back to school.   And her mental health is far more important than some petty punishment.   From this point on my Mrs took over as she saw they way it was going.     I am not angry or violent person but like, anyone would be, you hurt my kids and you will see a different side to me.    Anyway for the third time long story short my Mrs wiped the floor with him in the nicest possible way.    More meetings to come.  

Picked the youngest up this afternoon and she did have a good day so small steps in the right direction.   

There are some good staff at the school but but there are some petty fuckers than need dragging around by their hair.  Now I feel much better getting that off my chest.  Sorry for the rant but it had to come out somewhere.  

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Pedro

Pedro

Posted
Posted

I know nothing about kids or parenting, but good on you for defending her as that’s what she absolutely needs above all else.

Maybe she needs a trailbike or a motocross bike after that, too!

 

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Saul

Saul

Posted
  • Author
Posted
2 minutes ago, Pedro said:

I know nothing about kids or parenting, but good on you for defending her as that’s what she absolutely needs above all else.

Maybe she needs a trailbike or a motocross bike after that, too!

 

She has a horse that is much more of a handful than any trail bike.  Bleddy thing is mental, I can't watch but she loves it.  

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Pedro

Pedro

Posted
Posted
Just now, Saul said:

She has a horse that is much more of a handful than any trail bike.  Bleddy thing is mental, I can't watch but she loves it.  

I like horses: petting them on the head and feeding them apples and sugar, riding them is best left to other people :classic_laugh:

  • Like 2
  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
XTreme

XTreme

Posted
Posted

Kids are always a worry.....and it never stops!

And I've had numerous kids.....from numerous women! 

I'd have had a lot more money in my pocket over the years if I'd lived nearer the chemist in the 70's, 80's, and 90's.

  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
boboneleg

boboneleg

Posted
Posted
38 minutes ago, Saul said:

Just to be clear Reset, in that school, is when the kids are sent to a classroom and have to sit silent facing the wall working,  they are not allowed to speak even to ask the supervising member of staff for help with the work or use the toilet.

Fuckmine, that is like going back to the 19th century 

wtf.gif.b98118e0f012e163784981fc7e3f4983.gif

  • Like 2
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
boboneleg

boboneleg

Posted
Posted
29 minutes ago, XTreme said:

Kids are always a worry.....and it never stops!

And I've had numerous kids.....from numerous women! 

I'd have had a lot more money in my pocket over the years if I'd lived nearer the chemist in the 70's, 80's, and 90's.

I hope you're reading this @Marcel , move closer to the pharmacy before you put your dick somewhere you regret  :classic_laugh:

  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
MooN

MooN

Posted
Posted

@Saul get it off your chest mate, nobody here is likely to judge, well not the ones worth listening to anyway. Ive  used this place ( its predecessor actually) as something of a crutch from time to time re the kids too in the early days.  For what it's worth, it sounds to me like you're handling it pretty well so keep up the good work and I hope it works itself out for you and for her. 

PS, Horses are good for damaged people 👍

  • Like 4
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Slowlycatchymonkey

Slowlycatchymonkey

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Saul said:

I know I have said a little about it on here, but long story short my youngest 15 year old is having some mental health issues.  Without going into to much detail for her sake, if you google a thing called attachment disorder, much would become clear.  Anyway as an adopted child who came from a horribly chaotic background my  youngest has all the classical symptoms of it.  Her problems came to a head when she ran away from home, although she is much loved and happy normally.  Long story short again it has all been triggered by a string of bullying from kids in school and harsh treatment  by staff in school.  

Anyway I have been keeping her home from school to get her head straight and just take some emotional pressure from her shoulders.  Been trips to doctors, youth workers Cams contact and in the new year she will be seeing an educational psychologist.  

Goodonya Saul. Takes a lot of doing adopting a child and giving the love and care you're giving, takes even more to get them the input they should have. She's lucky to have you and your wife.

1 hour ago, Saul said:

 

Following this the school is finally coming around to the point that she is not just a naughty child that needs punishment but one who needs help and a bit of care.    So today we take her back, on the proviso that we talk to the head of year before she goes in.  What a total cock he was, I have never wanted to deck someone so much in my life and not actually done it.  The first sentence out of his mouth was that on this one occasion he was not going to send her to the reset they had given her before I kept her home.  Just to be clear Reset, in that school, is when the kids are sent to a classroom and have to sit silent facing the wall working,  they are not allowed to speak even to ask the supervising member of staff for help with the work or use the toilet.    He is sitting behind them.   WTF sort of way is that to treat kids.  

 

I said that perhaps we should not be talking about punishment as my daughter, after much support and encouragement has found the courage to come back to school.   And her mental health is far more important than some petty punishment.   From this point on my Mrs took over as she saw they way it was going.     I am not angry or violent person but like, anyone would be, you hurt my kids and you will see a different side to me.    Anyway for the third time long story short my Mrs wiped the floor with him in the nicest possible way.    More meetings to come.  

Picked the youngest up this afternoon and she did have a good day so small steps in the right direction.   

There are some good staff at the school but but there are some petty fuckers than need dragging around by their hair.  Now I feel much better getting that off my chest.  Sorry for the rant but it had to come out somewhere.  

Just grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Makes me angry just reading it. 'Reset' what do they think they're doing? Did they study at all during their teacher training?

Sounds like the head of year needs to sit facing a wall and not speak to anyone until he's read a few books about child behaviour 😆 

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Pedro

Pedro

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Saul said:

Just to be clear Reset, in that school, is when the kids are sent to a classroom and have to sit silent facing the wall working,  they are not allowed to speak even to ask the supervising member of staff for help with the work or use the toilet.    He is sitting behind them. 

I wonder what the public opinion nowadays would think of that practice.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Saul

Saul

Posted
  • Author
Posted
21 minutes ago, Slowlycatchymonkey said:

Goodonya Saul. Takes a lot of doing adopting a child and giving the love and care you're giving, takes even more to get them the input they should have. She's lucky to have you and your wife.

Just grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Makes me angry just reading it. 'Reset' what do they think they're doing? Did they study at all during their teacher training?

Sounds like the head of year needs to sit facing a wall and not speak to anyone until he's read a few books about child behaviour 😆 

Don't worry I have a feeling it is going to hit the fan once the Educational Psychologist gets involved.  I won't roll over, they will be held to account.    

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Slowlycatchymonkey

Slowlycatchymonkey

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Saul said:

Don't worry I have a feeling it is going to hit the fan once the Educational Psychologist gets involved.  I won't roll over, they will be held to account.    

I don't doubt that for a moment my good man, from the short time you've been on here I get the impression they're barking up the wrong tree if they think playing the old placing the blame on the parent/child game is going to give them a free pass to do nothing land.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tango

Tango

Posted
Posted

Sounds like you're doing your very best to give your daughter the environment that she needs right now. Keep up the sterling work mate. 👍

Yeah, schools! My OH's son had a torrid time at school for much the same reasons.  He has a few mental health problems, but his school refused to take them into account. He used to get put into isolation for minor misdemeanours, like forgetting his PE kit etc, but on more than one occasion had panic attacks during the isolation and had to get out of there. The school decided that they needed to escalate his punishment, without any thought on the effect this would have on him! My OH went up the school multiple times, only to be met with a stone wall! Since her son left school his mental health has improved immensely!

Anyway, vent as often as you want. As @MooN says, most here will be glad to offer whatever encouragement and support they can. 

  • Like 4
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Saul

Saul

Posted
  • Author
Posted
25 minutes ago, Tango said:

Sounds like you're doing your very best to give your daughter the environment that she needs right now. Keep up the sterling work mate. 👍

Yeah, schools! My OH's son had a torrid time at school for much the same reasons.  He has a few mental health problems, but his school refused to take them into account. He used to get put into isolation for minor misdemeanours, like forgetting his PE kit etc, but on more than one occasion had panic attacks during the isolation and had to get out of there. The school decided that they needed to escalate his punishment, without any thought on the effect this would have on him! My OH went up the school multiple times, only to be met with a stone wall! Since her son left school his mental health has improved immensely!

Anyway, vent as often as you want. As @MooN says, most here will be glad to offer whatever encouragement and support they can. 

From my experience I think the quality of teaching has fallen in schools, they got rid of many of the senior more experience staff and replaced them with cheaper newly qualified teachers.  Many of them are all at sea, and still learning their trade.   One of the things with my kids, as they are all adopted, the school receives a 2K a year pupil premium as they are classed as 'looked after kids'.   So we do have some leverage plus as experienced adopters we know where to look for support from external agencies.  We have a very similar experience with my son when he was in Junior school.     

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
XTreme

XTreme

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Saul said:

From my experience I think the quality of teaching has fallen in schools, they got rid of many of the senior more experience staff and replaced them with cheaper newly qualified teachers.  Many of them are all at sea, and still learning their trade.   One of the things with my kids, as they are all adopted, the school receives a 2K a year pupil premium as they are classed as 'looked after kids'.   So we do have some leverage plus as experienced adopters we know where to look for support from external agencies.  We have a very similar experience with my son when he was in Junior school.     

Fantastic that you've adopted those children Saul!

  • Like 6
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Saul

Saul

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Just now, XTreme said:

Fantastic that you've adopted those children Saul!

Thanks mate that is a kind thing to say and I appreciate it, but we didn't adopt for any sort of altruistic reasons.  We couldn't have kids the normal way  so we went the adoption route, as a family was very important to us.    To be fair the older two are now 17 and 19 so pretty grown up,   Well my 17 year daughter is, the boy, well you know about boys of that age.  

  • Like 6
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
XTreme

XTreme

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, Saul said:

Thanks mate that is a kind thing to say and I appreciate it, but we didn't adopt for any sort of altruistic reasons.  We couldn't have kids the normal way  so we went the adoption route, as a family was very important to us.    To be fair the older two are now 17 and 19 so pretty grown up,   Well my 17 year daughter is, the boy, well you know about boys of that age.  

Yeh.....I think it's a wonderful thing to do......giving those children a chance in life.

I'd have done the same if I couldn't have had kids!

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites
busabeast

busabeast

Posted
Posted
23 hours ago, Pedro said:

I know nothing about kids or parenting, but good on you for defending her as that’s what she absolutely needs above all else.

Maybe she needs a trailbike or a motocross bike after that, too!

 

She needs a busa in her life then all will be good 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Privacy Policy

  I accept