Buckster Posted July 25, 2023 Share Posted July 25, 2023 38 minutes ago, Marcel said: True story...in grade seven me and bunch of class mates deceived to pull apart are Bic pens and started hurting pins at each other ...using are books has Shields. Everything was going dandy until I took a big inhale and the pin landed way back I my throat...I couldn't pull it out and after a minute or so I swallow it....anyway I didn't know what to do so I walk to the front of the classroom and tell the teacher I just swallowed a pin...she panics takes me to the principal office and with in a hour I was at the hospital. If I remember correctly it was around 930 am before they took and x-ray to see where the pin was located..it was just about to enter the stomach..anyway I got prept for surgery it was like 1130 before the put me out on the table....woke up in the afternoon with this God awful stomach pain and tubes sticking out my nose hooked up to a vacum pump ....they tore my inside out ...opened my stomach ..and they never found the pin...x-ray and everything afterwards and nothing...they checked my stools for a few a entire week and nothing.. and you have been a useless prick ever since. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slowlycatchymonkey Posted July 26, 2023 Author Share Posted July 26, 2023 Not a goer while herniated obviously @XTreme but perhaps something to think about for later. I’m just going to leave this here.. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/jul/25/best-exercise-lowering-blood-pressure-planks-wall-sits-study 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTreme Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 Blood test 8AM......-then off to feed the horses. Back to the Health Centre for the ECG at 8.45AM! The young nurse (same one who did my blood pressure last week) stood in front of me and pulled my pants down a bit, For some reason the cables kept coming off me so it was necessary for her to get a bit "hands on"! Spent the next 10 minutes trying not to get the hard on cos the wife was watching. Then it was the supermarket at 9.15 and back home by 9.45! Fucking busy morning! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTreme Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 3 minutes ago, Slowlycatchymonkey said: Not a goer while herniated obviously @XTreme but perhaps something to think about for later. I’m just going to leave this here.. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/jul/25/best-exercise-lowering-blood-pressure-planks-wall-sits-study Is shagging mentioned? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboneleg Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 1 hour ago, XTreme said: Blood test 8AM......-then off to feed the horses. Back to the Health Centre for the ECG at 8.45AM! The young nurse (same one who did my blood pressure last week) stood in front of me and pulled my pants down a bit, For some reason the cables kept coming off me so it was necessary for her to get a bit "hands on"! Spent the next 10 minutes trying not to get the hard on cos the wife was watching. Then it was the supermarket at 9.15 and back home by 9.45! Fucking busy morning! The poor girl is now scared for life after catching a glimpse of the ginger pubes ............... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTreme Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 2 minutes ago, boboneleg said: The poor girl is now scared for life after catching a glimpse of the ginger pubes ............... She was getting moist.....no doubt about it! Interesting to see the demographic of the queue for blood tests......nearly all blokes 50+. Most of whom were fat as fuck and very short! Compared to that lot I must have looked to the nurses like something out of "The Expendables". 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saul Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 If I am boring you do tell, but I have just remembered another entertaining incident. Working with another Advanced Paramedic we were tasked to go and change a female catheter at a well known local care home that dealt with people with dementia, normally the more severe end of the spectrum. Quite sad really I can't imagine it is a very pleasant place to work. This Paramedic is my age, very experienced and a Cornish Biker so we get on like a house on fire. Just as an aside nobody in the service really likes dealing with female catheters, apparently finding the urethra can be tricky, or so I have been told. But the District Nurses don't run overnight in Cornwall so the buck stops with the 111 service. Anyway we arrive at the care home that is built like a big U with the car park in the middle of it. I am pretty chipper as I know there won't be a need for me to chaperone as the care staff will fulfill that role. It is summer so the windows are open which is a bit disturbing, as at times the poor people are crying, shouting, wailing and sometimes screaming, also it sounds like it is coming from all around you because of the way the building is, like a I said it is a pretty sad place really. Anyway my clinician goes to the door is greeted by a member of staff and goes in. Because the windows are open I can hear him chatting to the carer as they walk along the corridor which runs parallel to the carpark. I also hear him enter the patient's room with the carer and him talk to the patient, introducing himself and explaining what he was going to do to help stop her pain. Apparently a blocked catheter can be very painful. I hear rustling, obviously opening the catheter pack , and some more chat, next I hear this massive shouted Whoop!. It made me jump so much that I nearly fell over as I was outside leaning against the car, it was that loud and blood curdling. The clinician came out quite red faced and I said to I imagine they all don't go like that, his response was: "No that was a first for me". We spent the rest of the shift giggling about it, which doesn't paint me in a good light but I found it very funny. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 2 hours ago, XTreme said: Blood test 8AM......-then off to feed the horses. Back to the Health Centre for the ECG at 8.45AM! The young nurse (same one who did my blood pressure last week) stood in front of me and pulled my pants down a bit, For some reason the cables kept coming off me so it was necessary for her to get a bit "hands on"! Spent the next 10 minutes trying not to get the hard on cos the wife was watching. Then it was the supermarket at 9.15 and back home by 9.45! Fucking busy morning! You can still get a hard on ?? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboneleg Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 5 minutes ago, Six30 said: You can still get a hard on ?? He's doing better than me 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckster Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 1 hour ago, Saul said: If I am boring you do tell, 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTreme Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 2 hours ago, boboneleg said: He's doing better than me You can't get the hard on? Can you lend a hand @Slowlycatchymonkey? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckster Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 52 minutes ago, XTreme said: You can't get the hard on? Can you lend a hand @Slowlycatchymonkey? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboneleg Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 2 hours ago, XTreme said: You can't get the hard on? Can you lend a hand @Slowlycatchymonkey? Perv alert 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yen_powell Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 21 hours ago, Marcel said: True story...in grade seven me and bunch of class mates deceived to pull apart are Bic pens and started hurting pins at each other ...using are books has Shields. Everything was going dandy until I took a big inhale and the pin landed way back I my throat...I couldn't pull it out and after a minute or so I swallow it....anyway I didn't know what to do so I walk to the front of the classroom and tell the teacher I just swallowed a pin...she panics takes me to the principal office and with in a hour I was at the hospital. If I remember correctly it was around 930 am before they took and x-ray to see where the pin was located..it was just about to enter the stomach..anyway I got prept for surgery it was like 1130 before the put me out on the table....woke up in the afternoon with this God awful stomach pain and tubes sticking out my nose hooked up to a vacum pump ....they tore my inside out ...opened my stomach ..and they never found the pin...x-ray and everything afterwards and nothing...they checked my stools for a few a entire week and nothing.. My younger brother did that. He asked my Mum if he could borrow the tin of pins she used for her sewing. She asked him to confirm he wasn't going to do anything silly with them. He swore he would be careful. He came running back into the room 10 minutes later in a panic saying he's swallowed a pin. Turns out he had made a blow pipe and had taken a deep breath in with it actually pressed to his mouth. He's not the brainy one in our family! My dad has a magnet halfway down his throat for a while, but it was no good and he was taken off to hospital. They could see it on the x-ray but then later it wasn't visible any more. His turds were searched for a few days by the hospital staff then they sent him home and my mum had to carry on doing that for another week. Never any sign of it. He must be about 56 now, this was when he was about 5 or 6. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skyrider Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 28 minutes ago, yen_powell said: My younger brother did that. He asked my Mum if he could borrow the tin of pins she used for her sewing. She asked him to confirm he wasn't going to do anything silly with them. He swore he would be careful. He came running back into the room 10 minutes later in a panic saying he's swallowed a pin. Turns out he had made a blow pipe and had taken a deep breath in with it actually pressed to his mouth. He's not the brainy one in our family! My dad has a magnet halfway down his throat for a while, but it was no good and he was taken off to hospital. They could see it on the x-ray but then later it wasn't visible any more. His turds were searched for a few days by the hospital staff then they sent him home and my mum had to carry on doing that for another week. Never any sign of it. He must be about 56 now, this was when he was about 5 or 6. many years ago i was told that if you swallowed anything like that you should eat cotton wool sandwiches , the cotton wool wraps itself around the object and comes out when you go for a crap 1 2 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 2 minutes ago, skyrider said: many years ago i was told that if you swallowed anything like that you should eat cotton wool sandwiches , the cotton wool wraps itself around the object and comes out when you go for a crap 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slowlycatchymonkey Posted July 26, 2023 Author Share Posted July 26, 2023 6 hours ago, XTreme said: You can't get the hard on? Can you lend a hand @Slowlycatchymonkey? GYLP! New abbreviation save me having to type Get Yourself Laid Pete! every third post 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busabeast Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 11 hours ago, XTreme said: Is shagging mentioned? Don't lie old man you don't shag anymore.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTreme Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 3 minutes ago, busabeast said: Don't lie old man you don't shag anymore.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slowlycatchymonkey Posted July 26, 2023 Author Share Posted July 26, 2023 9 hours ago, XTreme said: She was getting moist.....no doubt about it! Interesting to see the demographic of the queue for blood tests......nearly all blokes 50+. Most of whom were fat as fuck and very short! Compared to that lot I must have looked to the nurses like something out of "The Expendables". Would have been the pinnacle of her career seeing another OAP with high blood pressure who thinks he’s the dogs, it’s such a rarity 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slowlycatchymonkey Posted July 28, 2023 Author Share Posted July 28, 2023 Not quite forum surgery post worthy but me and my dental phobia are going to the hygienist this afternoon.. I hope, so long as I don’t find any flimsy reason possible to cancel.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckster Posted July 28, 2023 Share Posted July 28, 2023 Just now, Slowlycatchymonkey said: Not quite forum surgery post worthy but me and my dental phobia are going to the hygienist this afternoon.. I hope, so long as I don’t find any flimsy reason possible to cancel.. So you have a phobia of them poking around looking for exposed nerves with that metal spike thing, cracking your teeth open like Josef Mengele doing perverse human experimentation? Don't worry, it’s just your imagination. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slowlycatchymonkey Posted July 28, 2023 Author Share Posted July 28, 2023 1 minute ago, Buckster said: So you have a phobia of them poking around looking for exposed nerves with that metal spike thing, cracking your teeth open like Josef Mengele doing perverse human experimentation? Don't worry, it’s just your imagination. More the potent reverberating childhood memory having milk teeth pulled with inadequate (I’d d say no) anaesthetic. The sounds of crunching and cracking set to a backdrop of excruciating pain whilst being held down in a dental chair. Yep that’ll do it. Think I might be busy later washing my hair 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckster Posted July 28, 2023 Share Posted July 28, 2023 1 hour ago, Slowlycatchymonkey said: More the potent reverberating childhood memory having milk teeth pulled with inadequate (I’d d say no) anaesthetic. The sounds of crunching and cracking set to a backdrop of excruciating pain whilst being held down in a dental chair. Yep that’ll do it. Think I might be busy later washing my hair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slowlycatchymonkey Posted July 28, 2023 Author Share Posted July 28, 2023 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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